Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Should get you on the right track to getting in control of the situation againukboy1 said:Is going ghost on a girlfriend of 6 months a great idea? Surely it'll just convey a lack of interest to her?
ukboy1 said:Any suggestions just as a general question, been with her 6 months and I think ive made the mistake of chasing her too much recently, how can I spin this round?
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Signatures cannot be seen if logged in.GotED? said:Take note of my signature below:
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
That's very true and well said, because ironically enough I was obsessed over my ex-girlfriend and it did exactly what you just said. I was depressed and empty and relying on her to keep me sane basically. But after our break-up I was able to use the depression to my advantage and understand that I need to get my life together, hence where I'm at now. In a way she influenced me. Some people (like myself) need to hit rock bottom before it clicks in their head that they need to make serious changes.Espi said:You're right dutchmaster--spinning plates is just a vehicle. A method. A technique. Or, for myself, a way of life.
OPTIONS is key here. You seem to be very content with chasing your goals and desires and that's great. The underlying factor is, don't get obsessed with a chick and make her the The Reason For Living. That, to me, is how guys get sucked into emptiness and depression.
Have something to aspire to.