I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Should get you on the right track to getting in control of the situation againukboy1 said:Is going ghost on a girlfriend of 6 months a great idea? Surely it'll just convey a lack of interest to her?
ukboy1 said:Any suggestions just as a general question, been with her 6 months and I think ive made the mistake of chasing her too much recently, how can I spin this round?
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Signatures cannot be seen if logged in.GotED? said:Take note of my signature below:
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
That's very true and well said, because ironically enough I was obsessed over my ex-girlfriend and it did exactly what you just said. I was depressed and empty and relying on her to keep me sane basically. But after our break-up I was able to use the depression to my advantage and understand that I need to get my life together, hence where I'm at now. In a way she influenced me. Some people (like myself) need to hit rock bottom before it clicks in their head that they need to make serious changes.Espi said:You're right dutchmaster--spinning plates is just a vehicle. A method. A technique. Or, for myself, a way of life.
OPTIONS is key here. You seem to be very content with chasing your goals and desires and that's great. The underlying factor is, don't get obsessed with a chick and make her the The Reason For Living. That, to me, is how guys get sucked into emptiness and depression.
Have something to aspire to.