That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Should get you on the right track to getting in control of the situation againukboy1 said:Is going ghost on a girlfriend of 6 months a great idea? Surely it'll just convey a lack of interest to her?
ukboy1 said:Any suggestions just as a general question, been with her 6 months and I think ive made the mistake of chasing her too much recently, how can I spin this round?
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Signatures cannot be seen if logged in.GotED? said:Take note of my signature below:
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
That's very true and well said, because ironically enough I was obsessed over my ex-girlfriend and it did exactly what you just said. I was depressed and empty and relying on her to keep me sane basically. But after our break-up I was able to use the depression to my advantage and understand that I need to get my life together, hence where I'm at now. In a way she influenced me. Some people (like myself) need to hit rock bottom before it clicks in their head that they need to make serious changes.Espi said:You're right dutchmaster--spinning plates is just a vehicle. A method. A technique. Or, for myself, a way of life.
OPTIONS is key here. You seem to be very content with chasing your goals and desires and that's great. The underlying factor is, don't get obsessed with a chick and make her the The Reason For Living. That, to me, is how guys get sucked into emptiness and depression.
Have something to aspire to.