"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Fast Talker

CosMoenTropic

Don Juan
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Unfortunately I am one. I hate slow talkers who have nothing to say. At the same time, I don't like how when I feel magnetized by an idea/emotion I feel like I have to say alot to get the entirely of the point across, and because of this I convey it extremely quickly so I don't let my dialouge drag on for too long. Is this problem just specific to me?

I realize because of this it ruins the body language aspect of my communication and its not good. Girls sometimes get intimidated or probably annoyed when they have to process what I have to say so quickly.. It makes them feel rushed, and I can understand that.

Anybody with this problem? Any good method to consciously/unconsciously minimize this problem?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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SharinganUser

Master Don Juan
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I am a slow talker and I find that it's the fast talkers that have nothing to say. It sounds to me that you aren't confident that people will listen to your entire arguement/idea, so you feel that you have to cram in as many words in the shortest amount of time.

Just relax and slow down. Try speaking from your diaphram instead of your chest or throat. Then when you are talking try to recognize when someone's interest is fading and do something to hook them back like making eye contact(if you are in a group you can't make eye contact with everyone all the time so scan them) or asking them a question about the point you are trying to make.

You should also consider rehearsing what you want to say, this will help build confidence. Another thing to consider would be to record yourself talking and listen to it latter.

If this is really bothering you, you should take a Public Speaking course.
 

Kwothe

Don Juan
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Sep 12, 2008
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well all sucessful communicator are average speed. i am a fast talker myself, until i watch alan shore in boston legal. He is so smooth, and you look at his colleague who is a fast talker, let you see the contrast there, it makes a world difference on your speed.
 
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