"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Fast Talker

CosMoenTropic

Don Juan
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Sep 6, 2008
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Unfortunately I am one. I hate slow talkers who have nothing to say. At the same time, I don't like how when I feel magnetized by an idea/emotion I feel like I have to say alot to get the entirely of the point across, and because of this I convey it extremely quickly so I don't let my dialouge drag on for too long. Is this problem just specific to me?

I realize because of this it ruins the body language aspect of my communication and its not good. Girls sometimes get intimidated or probably annoyed when they have to process what I have to say so quickly.. It makes them feel rushed, and I can understand that.

Anybody with this problem? Any good method to consciously/unconsciously minimize this problem?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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SharinganUser

Master Don Juan
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Oct 1, 2006
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I am a slow talker and I find that it's the fast talkers that have nothing to say. It sounds to me that you aren't confident that people will listen to your entire arguement/idea, so you feel that you have to cram in as many words in the shortest amount of time.

Just relax and slow down. Try speaking from your diaphram instead of your chest or throat. Then when you are talking try to recognize when someone's interest is fading and do something to hook them back like making eye contact(if you are in a group you can't make eye contact with everyone all the time so scan them) or asking them a question about the point you are trying to make.

You should also consider rehearsing what you want to say, this will help build confidence. Another thing to consider would be to record yourself talking and listen to it latter.

If this is really bothering you, you should take a Public Speaking course.
 

Kwothe

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 12, 2008
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well all sucessful communicator are average speed. i am a fast talker myself, until i watch alan shore in boston legal. He is so smooth, and you look at his colleague who is a fast talker, let you see the contrast there, it makes a world difference on your speed.
 
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