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If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

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And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

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Falling in love with the woman I've been seeing

Lookatu

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This must be a troll post. Honestly if I ever found out a woman hired a PI when we started dating I would dump her immediately. This comes off as psycho behavior.

I mean who the hell hires a PI to learn about someone instead of just spending some time getting to know the person??
Women that's been duped before hire or do background checks on any serious date/bf potentials. I've had this done on me a few times and they told me about it afterwards. I was ok with it and understood it. They were mostly in high career positions with a lot of things to lose on their end. I guess hiring a PI to follow you is different though than just having them do a background check on you.
 

Lynx nkaf

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This must be a troll post. Honestly if I ever found out a woman hired a PI when we started dating I would dump her immediately. This comes off as psycho behavior.

I mean who the hell hires a PI to learn about someone instead of just spending some time getting to know the person??
Back,
each and every one I tried trusting without verifying.
I have never done my own investigating.
Never touched a boyfriend's cell or mail or opened anything...even if alone.
Each one eventually revealed lies.

All that wasted time Back.... I'd rather just drop 5,000 and learn in the first month what would have taken years.

What's another idea?
How do I get better at judging?
I have looked directly and deeply into my mate's eyes and had them lie bluntly to me.

Just chalk it up to bad luck?
I'm not comfortable disrespecting by touching their phone or things.

P.I. is a legal and ethical method.
 

mrgoodstuff

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This must be a troll post. Honestly if I ever found out a woman hired a PI when we started dating I would dump her immediately. This comes off as psycho behavior.

I mean who the hell hires a PI to learn about someone instead of just spending some time getting to know the person??
Get know them on what they "tell" you? Get to know them on their "best efforts" during the first 90 days? How do you really get to "know" them?
 

mrgoodstuff

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Do you know what the problem is? Even after you manage to surpass the first hurdle, namely getting exclusive with her, she will be a constant hustle. She will be so heavily high-maintenance that you're going to wish you were single again.

By judging your attraction level towards her, it's easy to tell you're only going to be even more attached and needy later on. You want her for yourself. It sounds like you're yelling inside your head "If she could only love me!". She probably already smelled your desperation and knows she has the whip hand, if you're not an impeccable actor that is.

I would really advise you to see other women on the side. This will cool you down and knock her off the pedestal. Trust me, you need it. Badly!
Pro level advice. Have you seen situations where the man was able to remove the "whip" from her habd and have the dynamic shift to where she is pursuing him.
 

metalwater

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Back,
each and every one I tried trusting without verifying.
I have never done my own investigating.
Never touched a boyfriend's cell or mail or opened anything...even if alone.
Each one eventually revealed lies.

All that wasted time Back.... I'd rather just drop 5,000 and learn in the first month what would have taken years.

What's another idea?
How do I get better at judging?
I have looked directly and deeply into my mate's eyes and had them lie bluntly to me.

Just chalk it up to bad luck?
I'm not comfortable disrespecting by touching their phone or things.

P.I. is a legal and ethical method.
Never had a girl do that with me. I would be fine with it. I imagine they would hire a second one to validate the unbelievable things they would learn. My mode has always been just telling the truth, I have had to learn to only tell smaller parts of it and leave some for later. She should tell me that she is doing it because the trails left from that activity could bother me if I don't know who or why. In that context, it is not exactly honest to do it in secret; IMO.
 

Lynx nkaf

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Never had a girl do that with me. I would be fine with it. I imagine they would hire a second one to validate the unbelievable things they would learn. My mode has always been just telling the truth, I have had to learn to only tell smaller parts of it and leave some for later. She should tell me that she is doing it because the trails left from that activity could bother me if I don't know who or why. In that context, it is not exactly honest to do it in secret; IMO.
good point
tell upon first contact then...how would I frame it?
"You know what my friend the P.I. said the other day? it was a good joke, let me tell you..."

then right away they know I have a P.I. friend?
going to start a thread
 

metalwater

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good point
tell upon first contact then...how would I frame it?
"You know what my friend the P.I. said the other day? it was a good joke, let me tell you..."

then right away they know I have a P.I. friend?
going to start a thread
for me, just tell me something like.

You: I like you a lot, but had a couple of failed tries where the guy was fake. is it ok with you if I have a PI check you out to ensure your not a fake?
Me: Sure, go ahead.
 

Lookatu

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All that wasted time Back.... I'd rather just drop 5,000 and learn in the first month what would have taken years.
I think that amount is a bit extreme unless you are engaged and marriage is right around the corner IMO.

There are books and videos written by ex CIA/FBI operatives that teach you techniques in identifying lies. You may want to enlighten yourself with these first as a first line of investigation. I think if you mastered these techniques, it could get you most of the way there into revealing truths from them.

Here's some: Examples
 

Glassguy

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Do not tell her you want to be exclusive. Control yourself. You guys get along well, are having sex and things are fine.
It’s imperative SHE brings up exclusivity first.
I sense the neediness building up inside of you, do not manifest this in your interactions with her.
Do it my way, things will workout.
Great advice here OP.

Just keep doing what you're doing. Your job is to have fun when you're with her and fvck her. Keep a little space although it might be hard. Gives a woman time to think about you and miss you, which ultimately makes them crave you more.

Never be the one that brings up a relationship. When she does, dont jump on it like a hobo on a ham sandwich. I even answer that question in a very indirect way.

I've been dating someone for 4 months now. At the 3 month mark she asked me if I was dating anyone else, if I saw a future with her, etc. You want THEM asking these questions.......not you. When you do, you lose frame.

Trust Cola and I on this one.
 

Clamslammer

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Great advice here OP.

Just keep doing what you're doing. Your job is to have fun when you're with her and fvck her. Keep a little space although it might be hard. Gives a woman time to think about you and miss you, which ultimately makes them crave you more.

Never be the one that brings up a relationship. When she does, dont jump on it like a hobo on a ham sandwich. I even answer that question in a very indirect way.

I've been dating someone for 4 months now. At the 3 month mark she asked me if I was dating anyone else, if I saw a future with her, etc. You want THEM asking these questions.......not you. When you do, you lose frame.

Trust Cola and I on this one.
Good advice here...especially about not jumping into a relationship just because she asked. If you are a high value male you need to lay down the law with her on what it means to be in a relationship with you so this is where you set the boundaries in your relationship
 
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