"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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facebook update good or bad?

jacob

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I was thinking of posting "I have a big d!ck and it's going to waste." on my update. Good or bad?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Conquer

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what the hell, this will do more damage than good. Its facebook not fvckbuddiesbook. It is socially unacceptable and irresponsible to post such a sick thing.
 

jacob

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thanks my sosuave brothers from saving me from disgrace.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Desert Fox

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dude did you even think before posting this? lmao. hilarious thread, but dude odon't even post **** remotely close to that on your facebook or myspace or anything
 

FirefighterMD

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Conquer said:
what the hell, this will do more damage than good. Its facebook not fvckbuddiesbook. It is socially unacceptable and irresponsible to post such a sick thing.
Granted, there are people who tend to be a caricature of themselves and aim to be so left-field on what's "acceptable".

Personally I think everyone that puts one of the following on their status are lame:
a) What you are doing - I don't give a ****
b) A religious quote - I don't care about your pretentious beliefs
c) Using it to vent personal problems - Talk to a friend or hire a therapist
d) Song lyrics/Emo phrases - Unoriginal and lame

Personally I use it for humorous off the wall comments. I aim for offensive, I aim for hilarity, I am for controversy. I don't take it seriously, and neither should anyone else.
 

jacob

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FirefighterMD said:
Granted, there are people who tend to be a caricature of themselves and aim to be so left-field on what's "acceptable".

Personally I think everyone that puts one of the following on their status are lame:
a) What you are doing - I don't give a ****
b) A religious quote - I don't care about your pretentious beliefs
c) Using it to vent personal problems - Talk to a friend or hire a therapist
d) Song lyrics/Emo phrases - Unoriginal and lame

Personally I use it for humorous off the wall comments. I aim for offensive, I aim for hilarity, I am for controversy. I don't take it seriously, and neither should anyone else.
Yeah, everyone is so predictable with their updates and once in awhile I post something off the wall that gets me laughs. And since the majority of my friends are women 25 and above, I know they're sex drive is high, but most of the guys are rather timid and blah with their posts trying not to offend.

One of my female friends took the "how often do you need sex test" and I commented under her results "that after having sex with my girlfriend, one hour later I'm jacking off in the shower." After that comment, then I noticed her friend post a Christmas gathering video of them and her receiving a vibrator, and her other friends start talking about her "ass being sore" when before none of them would even come remotely close to using such words.

So I'm thinking that post might get me a laugh and loosen up the girls and make them think I'm a guy that has balls to even post such a thing, and probably keep them thinking of me. Not to be conceded but I think my pics look pretty handsome and have had good comments from the ladies.

So Firefighter would you post such a thing just to screw with their heads?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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jacob

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amoka said:
How old are you? 13?
Well sometimes being being silly gets the girl. If you watched the movie "Big" with Tom Hanks, He won a sophisticated full grown woman away from a successful full grown man of this world. It was because his silly boyish behavior brought out the little girl that's hidden in every adult female. The little girl that wants to come out to play.
 

Desert Fox

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jacob said:
Well sometimes being being silly gets the girl. If you watched the movie "Big" with Tom Hanks, He won a sophisticated full grown woman away from a successful full grown man of this world. It was because his silly boyish behavior brought out the little girl that's hidden in every adult female. The little girl that wants to come out to play.
Movie bro...remember it's a MOVIE.

moviemoviemoviemoviemoviemovie
 

jacob

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Desert Fox said:
Movie bro...remember it's a MOVIE.

moviemoviemoviemoviemoviemovie
lol. my ex was an store manager and exotic dancer and was courted by business men, me I have nothing, I ride a bike, work part time and live at home with my parents. She was sophisticated and headstrong, alot of these successful guys bought her anything she wanted, but she chose me because I was silly and playful and made her comfortable. She bought ME stuff, she moved into my house with horrible living conditions and we effed like porn stars for over a year. All because, I acted different from your typical adult male. So it does work in real life.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Prodigy746

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Every time i read this thread it makes me laugh for like 2-3 minutes non stop. I love it!

Speaking of updates though. I hate it when people post updates 4-5 times a day. I am going to the mall, i am going to work, i am bored, i had a great day, i am going to party tonight, i am hanging out w my friends, i cant sleep, i just ate some good food, blah blah blah. WTF do we need to know everything you doing every minute. I have friends that have iphone and do this all the time its so annoying!

Personally i could care less about facebook and i check it maybe once a week and post an update maybe once a month. While i can understand that girls might do this because they want attention but i have seen many of my guy friends doing it too. To me its like trying to be cool over the internet. Its like they are trying to say that they are social and they do stuff all the time.
 

mtlwlu

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to the OP have a status update : Jacob is probably masturbating.
 

jacob

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well I went ahead and did it for fun on my lunch break. then I felt fear rush through me for the next 2 hours cuz I would check up on my cell for any response and nothing, especially since I added new friends from highschool days. I thought what the hell are they thinking of me now? lol.

Then I checked again and first response was a female "Just like the crops on Farm Town if you don't harvest them LOL!" so I know I made her crack up, the response I was hoping to get. Then another comment from a female "That's funny. LOL" and finally one more from a guy "THERE MUST BE ONE CHICK THAT NEEDS ONE ON FACEBOOK!!JUST LET THE SNAKE LOOSE IN (hometown)!! LOL

I ain't going fret what the others think but hopefully they got a laugh like the ones who commented.
 

ssj4halo

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if i saw that, i would think someone was messing(their friend) with the fb and wrote in a status
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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