"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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F*cking funniest text from a chick

Y

yuppaz

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her: ok Mr Yuppaz (?Last name? so I can run a background check)...lol j/k
Me: ohhh, Miss XXXXX no trust it's Yuppaz XXXXX XXXXX, now it's your turn
her: well XXXX is actually my last name, first name Kenneth
Me:......... (didn't send this, didn't know what to say, I know she's a chick but is that her real first name? did her parents hate her, DID she have a bulge????? I wasn't THAT drunk)
Me: really? How did that happen?
Her: lmao hahahahha kidding it's XXXXXXX
I was cracking up, never had anyone do that to me before, that sh*t was pretty damn funny. She got some points for that.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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G

garruk

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must be a "you had to be there" sort of thing.
 
C

CarlitosWay

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this is my idea of a funny text i got the other night.....
(after i messed around with a plate after hours at the local park , finger banged the hell out of her and nearly got caught in the act by a cop hehe)

after she gets home
"omg I just came all in my pants lol"
 
Y

yuppaz

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I thought it was hilarious. She was telling me she was a tranny or something and it caught me totally blindsided, the timing was perfect and I totally fell for it.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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I

Ice882

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don't hate
 
J

Joe Stud

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Yup: you mean she ACTUALLY said her first name was KENNETH???

Thats hilarious! Funniest thing I ever heard in my life!!

She ought to go on the road as a stand-up comedian. I'm LMAO here, it is insanely funny.

"My real name is Kenneth" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA








Guys::crazy: Shhhhhh ;)
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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B

Boxer

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I do the same thing sort of. I like to tell girls I meet that my middle name is Danger when the conversation leads to middle names hahaha they always find it funny.
 
Kailex

Kailex

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yuppaz said:
her: ok Mr Yuppaz (?Last name? so I can run a background check)...lol j/k
Me: ohhh, Miss XXXXX no trust it's Yuppaz XXXXX XXXXX, now it's your turn
her: well XXXX is actually my last name, first name Kenneth
Me:......... (didn't send this, didn't know what to say, I know she's a chick but is that her real first name? did her parents hate her, DID she have a bulge????? I wasn't THAT drunk)
Me: really? How did that happen?
Her: lmao hahahahha kidding it's XXXXXXX
I was cracking up, never had anyone do that to me before, that sh*t was pretty damn funny. She got some points for that.
Click to expand...
Does her "real name" happen to be Annabell and her account is from PoF?
 
Y

yuppaz

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Kailix - No she's actually a smoking hot J-Lo look alike with huge tits, beautiful face and unreal @ss I picked up at a club. Damn, ok maybe it was only funny to me but some of you guys are seriously insecure @ssholes. Kind of sad really that you needed to go out of your way to say that sh*t. No wonder you suck with girls.
 
S

scribblec

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yuppaz said:
Kailix - No she's actually a smoking hot J-Lo look alike with huge tits, beautiful face and unreal @ss I picked up at a club. Damn, ok maybe it was only funny to me but some of you guys are seriously insecure @ssholes. Kind of sad really that you needed to go out of your way to say that sh*t. No wonder you suck with girls.
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wow your a fuking retard your 31 years old and your still going to clubs trying to find skanks, you then come here post a **** joke the first girl who gave u attention said... when people arent amused you go straight into a personal attack assuming everyone is **** with girls...

man go **** urself
 
S

Strelok

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yuppaz said:
Kailix - No she's actually a smoking hot J-Lo look alike with huge tits, beautiful face and unreal @ss I picked up at a club. Damn, ok maybe it was only funny to me but some of you guys are seriously insecure @ssholes. Kind of sad really that you needed to go out of your way to say that sh*t. No wonder you suck with girls.
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Calling names and ad hominem on people that disagree it's allowed only from girls,we expect something more creative and less b1tchy from a man.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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N

Night Owl

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Lost in translation somewhere....
 
C

ChalengeGuyFan

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yuppaz said:
Kailix - No she's actually a smoking hot J-Lo look alike with huge tits, beautiful face and unreal @ss I picked up at a club. Damn, ok maybe it was only funny to me but some of you guys are seriously insecure @ssholes. Kind of sad really that you needed to go out of your way to say that sh*t. No wonder you suck with girls.
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Lighten up, buddy!
We're just poking fun at you and you are the insecure one who takes it all as insults.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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