It's been very hard for my to make solid eye contact without beginning to stare. I can feel my face tense up. My eyelids open wide. I stop listening and my mind starts racing. At this point I feel like I'm giving the other person a death stare. It becomes so evident that I'm anxious that the other person will get repulsed and or immediately end the conversation. It kills rapport in a heartbeat. And knowing all of this, it's still hard for me to correct it. I try keeping a slight squint with a subtle smile, but it only lasts for so long. I've tried the triangle method. I've tried just smiling my ass off. It keeps coming back to the anxious death stare. I also noticed that when I look away my eyes are like lightning bolts. Zooming around my skull. Cleary tense. What can a man do to rid this burden and lighten the hell up? Anyone..
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Eye Contact - Staring
- Thread starter jdbman11
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Vice
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2007
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Sounds like you've got some inner game to work on.
Personally, I keep looking at a woman to catch her eye so I can wink at her and then enjoy her reaction. It's fun.
It's creepy only if you show submission by looking away when she looks at you.
Listen, a good way to practice is on cashiers. Build confidence with them FIRST. Here's my routine:
1. Greet her. Say "Hey, what's going on" or "What's up". If she asks you how you are, you always say "awesome" in an upbeat manner. (If she has a good reaction to this, you've GOT her. Get the contact info and get OUT.)
2. When handing her the money/card, keep holding onto it so it slips out of her hand when she grabs it. Keep doing this with a playful smirk on your face.
3. Bid farewell. If she tells you to have a nice day or a nice weekend, say "don't tell me what to do".
Do this a bunch of times and watch what kind of person you turn into.
Personally, I keep looking at a woman to catch her eye so I can wink at her and then enjoy her reaction. It's fun.
It's creepy only if you show submission by looking away when she looks at you.
Listen, a good way to practice is on cashiers. Build confidence with them FIRST. Here's my routine:
1. Greet her. Say "Hey, what's going on" or "What's up". If she asks you how you are, you always say "awesome" in an upbeat manner. (If she has a good reaction to this, you've GOT her. Get the contact info and get OUT.)
2. When handing her the money/card, keep holding onto it so it slips out of her hand when she grabs it. Keep doing this with a playful smirk on your face.
3. Bid farewell. If she tells you to have a nice day or a nice weekend, say "don't tell me what to do".
Do this a bunch of times and watch what kind of person you turn into.
playerone
Senior Don Juan
Don't open your eyelids wide like you're doing a shock expression. Get rid of the squinting, it makes you feel more tense. Just look genuinely into her eyes and no where else. Imagine you just laughed hard on your friend's joke, then you turn around and see this attractive lady. If you're laughing hard enough, naturally that would be the look on your face.jdbman11 said:
Stay relaxed at all times, and don't try too hard.