It's been very hard for my to make solid eye contact without beginning to stare. I can feel my face tense up. My eyelids open wide. I stop listening and my mind starts racing. At this point I feel like I'm giving the other person a death stare. It becomes so evident that I'm anxious that the other person will get repulsed and or immediately end the conversation. It kills rapport in a heartbeat. And knowing all of this, it's still hard for me to correct it. I try keeping a slight squint with a subtle smile, but it only lasts for so long. I've tried the triangle method. I've tried just smiling my ass off. It keeps coming back to the anxious death stare. I also noticed that when I look away my eyes are like lightning bolts. Zooming around my skull. Cleary tense. What can a man do to rid this burden and lighten the hell up? Anyone..
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Eye Contact - Staring
- Thread starter jdbman11
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Vice
Master Don Juan
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- Oct 23, 2007
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Sounds like you've got some inner game to work on.
Personally, I keep looking at a woman to catch her eye so I can wink at her and then enjoy her reaction. It's fun.
It's creepy only if you show submission by looking away when she looks at you.
Listen, a good way to practice is on cashiers. Build confidence with them FIRST. Here's my routine:
1. Greet her. Say "Hey, what's going on" or "What's up". If she asks you how you are, you always say "awesome" in an upbeat manner. (If she has a good reaction to this, you've GOT her. Get the contact info and get OUT.)
2. When handing her the money/card, keep holding onto it so it slips out of her hand when she grabs it. Keep doing this with a playful smirk on your face.
3. Bid farewell. If she tells you to have a nice day or a nice weekend, say "don't tell me what to do".
Do this a bunch of times and watch what kind of person you turn into.
Personally, I keep looking at a woman to catch her eye so I can wink at her and then enjoy her reaction. It's fun.
It's creepy only if you show submission by looking away when she looks at you.
Listen, a good way to practice is on cashiers. Build confidence with them FIRST. Here's my routine:
1. Greet her. Say "Hey, what's going on" or "What's up". If she asks you how you are, you always say "awesome" in an upbeat manner. (If she has a good reaction to this, you've GOT her. Get the contact info and get OUT.)
2. When handing her the money/card, keep holding onto it so it slips out of her hand when she grabs it. Keep doing this with a playful smirk on your face.
3. Bid farewell. If she tells you to have a nice day or a nice weekend, say "don't tell me what to do".
Do this a bunch of times and watch what kind of person you turn into.
playerone
Senior Don Juan
Don't open your eyelids wide like you're doing a shock expression. Get rid of the squinting, it makes you feel more tense. Just look genuinely into her eyes and no where else. Imagine you just laughed hard on your friend's joke, then you turn around and see this attractive lady. If you're laughing hard enough, naturally that would be the look on your face.jdbman11 said:
Stay relaxed at all times, and don't try too hard.