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Explain me her behaviour

Igetit!

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To be honest dude......it's YOUR BEHAVIOR that's most confusing. You're doing a lot of stuff that,at least TO ME personally,makes absolutely no sense at all.

You said you've been texting this girl for a while. Umm......but then you say you don't ask her out because you two work together.

Well sir,if you don't mind my asking.......WHY DID YOU BOTHER getting her number? If you're not going to ask her out cause you work with her,then what was the point of you even getting her number to begin with? You made A HUGE ERROR by doing that......then compounded the error by texting and having conversations with her EVERY NIGHT.

You going to LESSEN any desire she has to go out with you. Why? Because you've already revealed who you are though the texting. She doesn't have to go out with you to learn more about you or figure out who you are. You yourself said.....

" the last few weeks we’ve always been texting every single night"

You likely done killed any mystery about yourself. Most people will go out at least on a first date to see who this "new person" is. That's gone between you and her. You already revealed yourself through texting. She already knows what she'd be getting if she went out with you. That would likely weigh in on her decision to even go out or not.


And another question, should I call her out on her bvll**** of being fvcking weird when we walked together or just pretend like nothing happened?
No,don't do that. You made a BIG mistake by getting too emotionally involved before one single date has even taken place. What you did was like starting out on a trip,you drive 50 miles,then all of the sudden realize you're going the wrong way.

So you turn around. The good news? You're headed in the right direction now. The bad? Dude...you're at -50. Those 50 miles have to be made up. Realizing you made a mistake doesn't put you at ZERO. You went 50 miles the WRONG WAY. Now you got to go back 50 miles just TO START at the beginning....just to start at zero.


Problem with that is,the chick's emotions aren't gonna just sat still while you try to get your act together.


Then you say......

Not this night though, sure there might be someone else in the picture, but I don’t buy it, not this sudden.
You say there might be someone else in the picture,but not "THIS SUDDEN".

This sudden?
Sir........you said you've been texting her FOR WEEKS. So you've known her for a while,but have YET to ask her out.....and I guarantee you ...your REASONS for NOT asking her out don't matter to her.

So what's she supposed to do....sit around alone and celibate until you FINALLY DECIDE to make a move? She's been waiting WEEKS........how much longer she gotta wait before you ask her out? You expect her to turn down advances from other guys until you work up the nerve to make some advances of your own?


You know.....it's not ALWAYS the girl's fault.
 

SayWhat

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Well she clearly tried to turn it the other way around. Didn’t text yesterday but late at night she texted and said she missed my texts, and said I sounded ‘mad’ on monday and monday evening.

Fine I replied but kept it short, gonna keep her around for two weeks as it’s a busy period at work, would suck if it would be akward right now. Then it’s over, she acted normal in real life but still not how it should be.

Once you type things down and reread it, you see it more clearly and see how wrong you are.

Thanks for the advice
 

SayWhat

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Ok I don't get this anymore

I've been basically ignoring her because I need to get over this oneitis I got for her. I used to go over for a quick chat or text her in the evening just asking her about her day or have a conversation. I didn't do this the past two days. She did text every evening though and I replied and we had some simple conversations. Because like I said, I tend to want to keep it ok between us as we kinda work together.

But I just got a text from her, saying "Why don't we talk so much anymore? I've been looking at our chat on WhatsApp just to see if you come online so I know you would've read it, but then you go offline without responding, what's going on?".

Can someone explain this? Fine it's weird behaviour, but it shows interest no? Or is this just another sh*t test?
 
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bcude

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I've been basically ignoring her because I need to get over this oneitis I got for her.
She did text every evening though and I replied and we had some simple conversations.
This is not how you get over your oneitis, you do that by staying away. It's like a drug addict that needs to stay off drugs.

It's not a sh*t test or strange behavior. It's rather simple, she was used to you being there for her as entertainment/emotional tampon/friend/non-sexual needs and now she noticed a change in your behavior and some disturbance in the force and calls you out on it.

Answer her something like "yeah, i've been crazy busy"
She will get the hint.
 

SayWhat

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This is not how you get over your oneitis, you do that by staying away. It's like a drug addict that needs to stay off drugs.

It's not a sh*t test or strange behavior. It's rather simple, she was used to you being there for her as entertainment/emotional tampon/friend/non-sexual needs and now she noticed a change in your behavior and some disturbance in the force and calls you out on it.

Answer her something like "yeah, i've been crazy busy"
She will get the hint.
I can't stay away because we work together... But yeah I can just stop texting.

Look, I'm not over her, far from it. I'm still too much of a nice guy and thinking stuff like 'if I don't text now she would just go to someone else'.

But to be fair, isn't it sometimes to easy to think of stuff girls do as a **** test? Ain't there a possibility they're actually really interested and act like it would be a test even if it wouldn't?

But then again, I don't want her to get the hint, I just want to fvck her. Because to be fair, that's all I want to do. She comes across very arrogant, even though she's very chatty with everyone and very outgoing.
 

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bcude

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I can't stay away because we work together... But yeah I can just stop texting.

Look, I'm not over her, far from it. I'm still too much of a nice guy and thinking stuff like 'if I don't text now she would just go to someone else'.

But to be fair, isn't it sometimes to easy to think of stuff girls do as a **** test? Ain't there a possibility they're actually really interested and act like it would be a test even if it wouldn't?

But then again, I don't want her to get the hint, I just want to fvck her. Because to be fair, that's all I want to do. She comes across very arrogant, even though she's very chatty with everyone and very outgoing.
Dude, she's cold and even arrogant to you and friendly towards others. This is NOT a woman who wants to fvck you. That is all you need to know really, you're wasting your time if you still hope for that to happen and your self-respect should kick in.
Try to lose that hope and you will be free again.

Everything is not a test when it comes to women. It's rather simple, again look at behavior, that tells you everything you need to know.
 

SayWhat

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Dude, she's cold and even arrogant to you and friendly towards others. This is NOT a woman who wants to fvck you. That is all you need to know really, you're wasting your time if you still hope for that to happen and your self-respect should kick in.
Try to lose that hope and you will be free again.

Everything is not a test when it comes to women. It's rather simple, again look at behavior, that tells you everything you need to know.
But she isn’t, on Monday she sure acted weird, but the next days when we saw each other from a far she always gave a huge smile or a huge wave.

But my mind is screwed over. This night I was out with a friend, she texted me. I replied here and there when I could. And with could I mean when my friend or I was to the bathroom, when it wouldn’t be too intrusive etc...

She also texted she was drunk home alone, but because of my slow reply rate, I think I ruined it or could have gotten more out of it.
 

Mauser96

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But she isn’t, on Monday she sure acted weird, but the next days when we saw each other from a far she always gave a huge smile or a huge wave.

But my mind is screwed over. This night I was out with a friend, she texted me. I replied here and there when I could. And with could I mean when my friend or I was to the bathroom, when it wouldn’t be too intrusive etc...

She also texted she was drunk home alone, but because of my slow reply rate, I think I ruined it or could have gotten more out of it.
She is playing you for attention.

If you enjoy mind games and frustration, by all means carry on.

If you enjoy peace of mind and self-respect - make her invisible to you, make her cease to exist. Take back your power.
 

SayWhat

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She is playing you for attention.

If you enjoy mind games and frustration, by all means carry on.

If you enjoy peace of mind and self-respect - make her invisible to you, make her cease to exist. Take back your power.
I get that, but I don’t get it when you know she’s for real or when she’s playing you.

You guys have 1000 times the experience, I know that. But it seems everything a girl does is a test/getting attention. Where do you draw the line?

Don’t get me wrong, I know I have a long way to go. I know you guys have 1000 times the experience. I’m just fvcking frustrated.
 

Mauser96

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I get that, but I don’t get it when you know she’s for real or when she’s playing you.

You guys have 1000 times the experience, I know that. But it seems everything a girl does is a test/getting attention. Where do you draw the line?

Don’t get me wrong, I know I have a long way to go. I know you guys have 1000 times the experience. I’m just fvcking frustrated.
Let me explain where the rubber hits the road, and where the bear sh1tttzzz in the woods.


There is ONE way to find out if a woman genuinely likes you.

You ask her out. If she agrees, she likes you. If she doesn't...she is playing you for attention.

YES, it is that simple.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Let me explain where the rubber hits the road, and where the bear sh1tttzzz in the woods.


There is ONE way to find out if a woman genuinely likes you.

You ask her out. If she agrees, she likes you. If she doesn't...she is playing you for attention.

YES, it is that simple.
She can be round you for attention
 

Mauser96

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Hey bud, don't get discouraged. But let me tell you, women will play you for attention, at the same time they are playing a dozen other guys.

Don't play that game. If you meet a girl, you like her and you guys seem to click, ask her out. IN PERSON "Let's get a drink sometime, when are you free?"

Now, with that, you have left the entire week/month open. SAY nothing more, wait for her answer. Wait as long as it takes. She is NOT busy every night of the week.......she will tell you what night she is free. If she says "I'm not sure, I will get back to you." Well, there is your answer.

She has zero interest. Write her off, and focus elsewhere. She might come back in a week, saying " Hey I am free Saturday" or she might not.

But I wouldn't ask her again. She knows you are interested, make her do some of the work now.
 
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Been texting a girl at work for a while now, we don't see each other often at work because of different workplaces. But yesterday we arrived at the same time and walked towards the building.

Our texting has been going great, good conversations, slightly sexual from time (I don't ask her out because of the fact we work together), but nonetheless she knows I'm going too as soon as we go to work at different places (which will happen eventually).

But when we walked towards the building, it was so hard to get a conversation out of her, it felt like she hated talking to me. And then when we entered the building (security doors, so only one at the time). She didn't even waited and just went of to her workplace, I heard her meet someone and was all chatty and laughing.

Now in the evening I get a text from her as usual. I gave one reply but then was of doing some stuff. When I checked my phone at around 2am, I saw she texted something else and double texted like three times to get my attention (like "are you still alive?"). I answered.

She just replied on my text way later than she would normally do which just a short response (again not like the usual), including the word "whatever". Is she just testing me, mad because I didn't text her yesterday evening? I don't really want to loose her as I truly think something is there, but it feels like it's over.

And another question, should I call her out on her bvll**** of being fvcking weird when we walked together or just pretend like nothing happened?
1) The only circumstance in which calling out works to your advantage is in person and when it happens and when it provides opportunity to increase banter/tension.
if you were to call her out over text after the fact you 1) run the risk of text being misleading in what message you send 2) imply you thought of it for a long time before you texted back and 3) have no way to read and react her reaction to your reaction.

Text is a tool, it helps, but flirting is done best in person.

Also, consider how your description of your beliefs might be masking excuses and habits that are causing you to fail to pull the trigger.

i.e. " (I don't ask her out because of the fact we work together)" -- no. you don't ask her out because you are afraid of a consequence that MAY happen but you are assuming WILL HAPPEN.

Recently i've been giving myself and my partners (personally and professionally) less and less room for excuses. if you see yourself ****in up situations call yourself out.

Cheers
 

bcude

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But she isn’t, on Monday she sure acted weird, but the next days when we saw each other from a far she always gave a huge smile or a huge wave.

But my mind is screwed over. This night I was out with a friend, she texted me. I replied here and there when I could. And with could I mean when my friend or I was to the bathroom, when it wouldn’t be too intrusive etc...

She also texted she was drunk home alone, but because of my slow reply rate, I think I ruined it or could have gotten more out of it.
Again, an interested woman wont confuse you like that.

Also, you think that you're not enough for her in some ways and that you've fvcked up. You're even here posting about it which means it's occupying alot of your thoughts. This is the opposite of how it should be, you care too much and you live in her reality, not the other way around (how it should be). If she says jump, you will jump out of desperation to get into her pants.
Rollo Tomassi (the write of the rational male) talks about becoming your own 'point of mental origin', strive towards that place and you will have an easier life.
 

SayWhat

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Let me explain where the rubber hits the road, and where the bear sh1tttzzz in the woods.


There is ONE way to find out if a woman genuinely likes you.

You ask her out. If she agrees, she likes you. If she doesn't...she is playing you for attention.

YES, it is that simple.
I did before but like I said somewhere else, it would take paragraphs to explain what's going on between us. I have to admit it's not the full story I am posting here, because even though there is anonymity on this forum, I'm still afraid that she might read this one way or the other.

But I did ask her out a couple of hours back in the middle of the night. I'm fed up with it, but it's noon right now where I live, but no response, even though I know she's awake. It sucks, but I guess it's a kind of liberation. Still that beta guy feelings coming through and am gonna miss the texts. It's fun to receive a text from her, she's a solid hb9.

But fvck this, I have such a long way to go. Way to little experience, but I promise right here and now that it ends now. I won't be posting threads anymore because it's always about the same. I promise I will make her feel sorry (but that's a wrong mentality perhaps). Gonna read the bible and other stuff again. I sincerely hope one day I can get back to this and post a proper reply.

I do thank you guys, I can be a whiner I know that. And a whiner who doesn't apply your advice, but I can feel I just throw myself deeper into the pit.
 
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so much good advise in this thread.
 
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