judoguy
Don Juan
so what is the next move now that we are hanging on sunday? dont contact her until saturday night or something? i feel like she is gonna forget about me and flake if i do not talk to her until saturday...?
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
experience with plentyoffish.com learn from my mistakes !
- Thread starter judoguy
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Naughty Ninja
Banned
judoguy said:
She isn't going to forget ANYTHING.Do NOT call her saturday night. Unless you possibly want her to think you have nothing better to think about on a Saturday night.
Do not call her at all. No texting either. She still has a few days to possibly flake. Not saying she will, but wait. She can flake at the last moment. IF she does. And you're at the location etc. DO NOT call. If she calls at the last minute or you're waiting there and she pretends she's on her way don't let her know you're already there and waiting. Tell her you're on your way. If you don't hear back or she doesn't show in 30 minutes or however long it should take her to arrive. Leave. And do not call her or text. Then you should report the situation here Monday and take it from there.
Dannyrt34
Master Don Juan
Ok I found a girl who I think is gorgeous on pof.. The best thing to do is make sure you have a pic on there that really captures attention, your profile really don't even have to be that great. I was a member of that site for like a year and didn't really see any girls I wanted to meet. Finally a few weeks ago a girl messaged me on there that looked promising. She only had 1 pic. she looked like she could look good but you couldn't tell for sure. Anyway she gave me her facebook and I seen that she looked dam gorgeous in all her pics. We ended up getting along great and were still dating.
Don't get me wrong like 90% of the site is trash, possibly more. My advice is not to use a dating site as your PRIMARY source. But go out and look for girls, then just use pof in your spare time. The girl I mentioned actually had her profile hidden so only she could message other ppl. So sometimes you just get lucky.
Don't get me wrong like 90% of the site is trash, possibly more. My advice is not to use a dating site as your PRIMARY source. But go out and look for girls, then just use pof in your spare time. The girl I mentioned actually had her profile hidden so only she could message other ppl. So sometimes you just get lucky.
judoguy
Don Juan
well i didnt text her at all yesterday and she didnt text me at all... so i have a feeling sunday will be a flake
Kailex
Master Don Juan
Think negatively and you'll attract negative energy.judoguy said:
Yesterday was Thursday. The "date" is on Sunday. You don't have to talk to her EVERYDAY.
What could you possibly want her to text you about yesterday? How the weather is so nice?
Just wait til Sunday and stop jumping to conclusions before anything has happened.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Yep.Kailex said:
Though judoguy's gut might be telling him something... Not saying that this girl's gonna flake on him for sure but he needs to keep that in the back of his mind.
Follow Ninja's instructions (though I only wait 15 mins).
If she does flake on you, don't take it personally. Learn from the temporary pain. If she does show up, have a good time.
judoguy
Don Juan
well you are right on most normal circumstances, people would not talk everyday. However, me and this girl have been exchanging up to 40 text messages a day just getting to know each other talking about everything, our pasts, culture, politics , religion etc. and also talking on the phone for a few hours
going from that to basically no contact is kind of weird.... but I am goign to stick to my guns and we'll see what happens. It is alot easier to "not care" when I am out at night as oppossed to just sitting at my computer bored at work or watching tv. I am bored so i want to something to do and want to talk to her
going from that to basically no contact is kind of weird.... but I am goign to stick to my guns and we'll see what happens. It is alot easier to "not care" when I am out at night as oppossed to just sitting at my computer bored at work or watching tv. I am bored so i want to something to do and want to talk to her
Naughty Ninja
Banned
You spoke about too much with her and left basically no mystery. You need a hobby. And not just pining after ONE girl. With the way you're going she's going to think you will smother her. I used to talk way too much to women myself in the beginning. It starts to actually kill attraction.judoguy said:
Anyway. Don't call. Let her do the worrying if you are going to call or not. Just show up and wait awhile. No call. You don't hear from her, leave. And don't call. She'll eventually become curious even if she flakes and either email, text, or call you. Then report back here with what she left as a message (don't answer the phone) email or text.
Naughty Ninja
Banned
One other thing.
Why are you giving her a tour of your school in the first place? To me that's not going to attract a woman on a first meet. First it's a Sunday. The school is most likely all closed. She may flake as a woman who's NEVER met you is going on a 'tour' of a school with someone who she probably has mentioned to her friends YOU who would tell her: "be careful you hear it all the time on the news of women getting attacked on campuses." The school 'tour' may creep her out. Especially if her friends put things into her head she may flake. And I wouldn't blame her.
If she does show up. Tell her you don't want the two of you to be bored to tears on a tour of your school and to follow you to get pastries at a pastry shop. (Google one for your area) Ask her if she's ever had Tiramisu. That is more of a light hearted, quick, fun first meet rather than just coffee.
I think the "school tour" may cause her to flake in all honesty.
Why are you giving her a tour of your school in the first place? To me that's not going to attract a woman on a first meet. First it's a Sunday. The school is most likely all closed. She may flake as a woman who's NEVER met you is going on a 'tour' of a school with someone who she probably has mentioned to her friends YOU who would tell her: "be careful you hear it all the time on the news of women getting attacked on campuses." The school 'tour' may creep her out. Especially if her friends put things into her head she may flake. And I wouldn't blame her.
If she does show up. Tell her you don't want the two of you to be bored to tears on a tour of your school and to follow you to get pastries at a pastry shop. (Google one for your area) Ask her if she's ever had Tiramisu. That is more of a light hearted, quick, fun first meet rather than just coffee.
I think the "school tour" may cause her to flake in all honesty.
cordoncordon
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2006
- Messages
- 2,889
- Reaction score
- 109
Tour of your school? That sounds like are really bad first date. BOR ing.
Drinks/apps and some good flirty convo sounds a lot more fun.
Drinks/apps and some good flirty convo sounds a lot more fun.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
judoguy
Don Juan
I agree with you guys on the most part but my school is national landmark/ treasure.
It has really sick views and she told me it was on her list of things to see in America. She is from South Africa.
It has really sick views and she told me it was on her list of things to see in America. She is from South Africa.
judoguy
Don Juan
I go to a military service academy. But yea, it might be boring. Maybe ill switch it to something else. I honestly dont really care anymore, this is getting to be such a hassle I am kinda hoping she flakes because I don't feel like dealing with the text/ dont text, do this or that for a date, etc. etc.
the only thing that motivates me is when I am horny. Period
the only thing that motivates me is when I am horny. Period
Naughty Ninja
Banned
Is it West Point in NY? I guess if she really wanted to see it you could show her sometime in the future. I wouldn't do it right away. You want her to be more interested in seeing you than the school. (Unless she's not going to be in the U.S. long) I'd take her for a quick dessert date.
Anyway I kindof think YOU'VE been the one sabotaging the date all along! Don't let insecurities ruin the chance of possibly meeting a cool girl. Usually the ones from other countries are more laid back and cool.
Just show her around and then go for dessert or someplace quick. Too much time together on a first date can get awkward. It'll go fine. Just stay cool! lol
Anyway I kindof think YOU'VE been the one sabotaging the date all along! Don't let insecurities ruin the chance of possibly meeting a cool girl. Usually the ones from other countries are more laid back and cool.
Just show her around and then go for dessert or someplace quick. Too much time together on a first date can get awkward. It'll go fine. Just stay cool! lol
judoguy
Don Juan
ok, sounds good. got it
judoguy said:
What do you think happens in the real world? You meet a chick and talk to her on the phone for from what you are saying... almost 1 to 1.5 hours before you ask her on a date? That sounds crazy. What are you going to talk about on your date dude? The hell with her schedule man. If she can't fit into yours why would you even bother letting her into your life?
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.