experience with plentyoffish.com learn from my mistakes !

[judoguy]

so what is the next move now that we are hanging on sunday? dont contact her until saturday night or something? i feel like she is gonna forget about me and flake if i do not talk to her until saturday...?

 

[Naughty Ninja]

so what is the next move now that we are hanging on sunday? dont contact her until saturday night or something? i feel like she is gonna forget about me and flake if i do not talk to her until saturday...?

She isn't going to forget ANYTHING.Do NOT call her saturday night. Unless you possibly want her to think you have nothing better to think about on a Saturday night.

Do not call her at all. No texting either. She still has a few days to possibly flake. Not saying she will, but wait. She can flake at the last moment. IF she does. And you're at the location etc. DO NOT call. If she calls at the last minute or you're waiting there and she pretends she's on her way don't let her know you're already there and waiting. Tell her you're on your way. If you don't hear back or she doesn't show in 30 minutes or however long it should take her to arrive. Leave. And do not call her or text. Then you should report the situation here Monday and take it from there.

 

[Dannyrt34]

Ok I found a girl who I think is gorgeous on pof.. The best thing to do is make sure you have a pic on there that really captures attention, your profile really don't even have to be that great. I was a member of that site for like a year and didn't really see any girls I wanted to meet. Finally a few weeks ago a girl messaged me on there that looked promising. She only had 1 pic. she looked like she could look good but you couldn't tell for sure. Anyway she gave me her facebook and I seen that she looked dam gorgeous in all her pics. We ended up getting along great and were still dating.

Don't get me wrong like 90% of the site is trash, possibly more. My advice is not to use a dating site as your PRIMARY source. But go out and look for girls, then just use pof in your spare time. The girl I mentioned actually had her profile hidden so only she could message other ppl. So sometimes you just get lucky.

 

[judoguy]

well i didnt text her at all yesterday and she didnt text me at all... so i have a feeling sunday will be a flake

 

[Kailex]

well i didnt text her at all yesterday and she didnt text me at all... so i have a feeling sunday will be a flake

Think negatively and you'll attract negative energy.
Yesterday was Thursday. The "date" is on Sunday. You don't have to talk to her EVERYDAY.

What could you possibly want her to text you about yesterday? How the weather is so nice?

Just wait til Sunday and stop jumping to conclusions before anything has happened.

 

[vatoloco]

Just wait til Sunday and stop jumping to conclusions before anything has happened.

Yep.

Though judoguy's gut might be telling him something... Not saying that this girl's gonna flake on him for sure but he needs to keep that in the back of his mind.

Follow Ninja's instructions (though I only wait 15 mins).

If she does flake on you, don't take it personally. Learn from the temporary pain. If she does show up, have a good time.

 

[judoguy]

well you are right on most normal circumstances, people would not talk everyday. However, me and this girl have been exchanging up to 40 text messages a day just getting to know each other talking about everything, our pasts, culture, politics , religion etc. and also talking on the phone for a few hours

going from that to basically no contact is kind of weird.... but I am goign to stick to my guns and we'll see what happens. It is alot easier to "not care" when I am out at night as oppossed to just sitting at my computer bored at work or watching tv. I am bored so i want to something to do and want to talk to her

 

[Naughty Ninja]

well you are right on most normal circumstances, people would not talk everyday. However, me and this girl have been exchanging up to 40 text messages a day just getting to know each other talking about everything, our pasts, culture, politics , religion etc. and also talking on the phone for a few hours

going from that to basically no contact is kind of weird.... but I am goign to stick to my guns and we'll see what happens. It is alot easier to "not care" when I am out at night as oppossed to just sitting at my computer bored at work or watching tv. I am bored so i want to something to do and want to talk to her

You spoke about too much with her and left basically no mystery. You need a hobby. And not just pining after ONE girl. With the way you're going she's going to think you will smother her. I used to talk way too much to women myself in the beginning. It starts to actually kill attraction.

Anyway. Don't call. Let her do the worrying if you are going to call or not. Just show up and wait awhile. No call. You don't hear from her, leave. And don't call. She'll eventually become curious even if she flakes and either email, text, or call you. Then report back here with what she left as a message (don't answer the phone) email or text.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

One other thing.

Why are you giving her a tour of your school in the first place? To me that's not going to attract a woman on a first meet. First it's a Sunday. The school is most likely all closed. She may flake as a woman who's NEVER met you is going on a 'tour' of a school with someone who she probably has mentioned to her friends YOU who would tell her: "be careful you hear it all the time on the news of women getting attacked on campuses." The school 'tour' may creep her out. Especially if her friends put things into her head she may flake. And I wouldn't blame her.

If she does show up. Tell her you don't want the two of you to be bored to tears on a tour of your school and to follow you to get pastries at a pastry shop. (Google one for your area) Ask her if she's ever had Tiramisu. That is more of a light hearted, quick, fun first meet rather than just coffee.

I think the "school tour" may cause her to flake in all honesty.

 

[cordoncordon]

Tour of your school? That sounds like are really bad first date. BOR ing.

Drinks/apps and some good flirty convo sounds a lot more fun.

 

[judoguy]

I agree with you guys on the most part but my school is national landmark/ treasure.

It has really sick views and she told me it was on her list of things to see in America. She is from South Africa.

 

[judoguy]

I go to a military service academy. But yea, it might be boring. Maybe ill switch it to something else. I honestly dont really care anymore, this is getting to be such a hassle I am kinda hoping she flakes because I don't feel like dealing with the text/ dont text, do this or that for a date, etc. etc.

the only thing that motivates me is when I am horny. Period

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Is it West Point in NY? I guess if she really wanted to see it you could show her sometime in the future. I wouldn't do it right away. You want her to be more interested in seeing you than the school. (Unless she's not going to be in the U.S. long) I'd take her for a quick dessert date.

Anyway I kindof think YOU'VE been the one sabotaging the date all along! Don't let insecurities ruin the chance of possibly meeting a cool girl. Usually the ones from other countries are more laid back and cool.

Just show her around and then go for dessert or someplace quick. Too much time together on a first date can get awkward. It'll go fine. Just stay cool! lol

 

[judoguy]

ok, sounds good. got it

 

[the_m@n]

I highly disagree. I do not think it is a good idea to just call her up and ask her out. If you do this... she will be afraid of you being a "creeper" and overly aggressive and flake on the date.

I think the best case is to talk on the phone about 20 - 30 minute phone converstations 3x and then find her schedule out and ask her out then.

getting her number form POF, then calling her and asking her on a date immediately is a bad idea

What do you think happens in the real world? You meet a chick and talk to her on the phone for from what you are saying... almost 1 to 1.5 hours before you ask her on a date? That sounds crazy. What are you going to talk about on your date dude? The hell with her schedule man. If she can't fit into yours why would you even bother letting her into your life?