judoguy
Don Juan
so what is the next move now that we are hanging on sunday? dont contact her until saturday night or something? i feel like she is gonna forget about me and flake if i do not talk to her until saturday...?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
experience with plentyoffish.com learn from my mistakes !
- Thread starter judoguy
- Start date
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Naughty Ninja
Banned
judoguy said:
She isn't going to forget ANYTHING.Do NOT call her saturday night. Unless you possibly want her to think you have nothing better to think about on a Saturday night.
Do not call her at all. No texting either. She still has a few days to possibly flake. Not saying she will, but wait. She can flake at the last moment. IF she does. And you're at the location etc. DO NOT call. If she calls at the last minute or you're waiting there and she pretends she's on her way don't let her know you're already there and waiting. Tell her you're on your way. If you don't hear back or she doesn't show in 30 minutes or however long it should take her to arrive. Leave. And do not call her or text. Then you should report the situation here Monday and take it from there.
Dannyrt34
Master Don Juan
Ok I found a girl who I think is gorgeous on pof.. The best thing to do is make sure you have a pic on there that really captures attention, your profile really don't even have to be that great. I was a member of that site for like a year and didn't really see any girls I wanted to meet. Finally a few weeks ago a girl messaged me on there that looked promising. She only had 1 pic. she looked like she could look good but you couldn't tell for sure. Anyway she gave me her facebook and I seen that she looked dam gorgeous in all her pics. We ended up getting along great and were still dating.
Don't get me wrong like 90% of the site is trash, possibly more. My advice is not to use a dating site as your PRIMARY source. But go out and look for girls, then just use pof in your spare time. The girl I mentioned actually had her profile hidden so only she could message other ppl. So sometimes you just get lucky.
Don't get me wrong like 90% of the site is trash, possibly more. My advice is not to use a dating site as your PRIMARY source. But go out and look for girls, then just use pof in your spare time. The girl I mentioned actually had her profile hidden so only she could message other ppl. So sometimes you just get lucky.
judoguy
Don Juan
well i didnt text her at all yesterday and she didnt text me at all... so i have a feeling sunday will be a flake
Kailex
Master Don Juan
Think negatively and you'll attract negative energy.judoguy said:
Yesterday was Thursday. The "date" is on Sunday. You don't have to talk to her EVERYDAY.
What could you possibly want her to text you about yesterday? How the weather is so nice?
Just wait til Sunday and stop jumping to conclusions before anything has happened.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Yep.Kailex said:
Though judoguy's gut might be telling him something... Not saying that this girl's gonna flake on him for sure but he needs to keep that in the back of his mind.
Follow Ninja's instructions (though I only wait 15 mins).
If she does flake on you, don't take it personally. Learn from the temporary pain. If she does show up, have a good time.
judoguy
Don Juan
well you are right on most normal circumstances, people would not talk everyday. However, me and this girl have been exchanging up to 40 text messages a day just getting to know each other talking about everything, our pasts, culture, politics , religion etc. and also talking on the phone for a few hours
going from that to basically no contact is kind of weird.... but I am goign to stick to my guns and we'll see what happens. It is alot easier to "not care" when I am out at night as oppossed to just sitting at my computer bored at work or watching tv. I am bored so i want to something to do and want to talk to her
going from that to basically no contact is kind of weird.... but I am goign to stick to my guns and we'll see what happens. It is alot easier to "not care" when I am out at night as oppossed to just sitting at my computer bored at work or watching tv. I am bored so i want to something to do and want to talk to her
Naughty Ninja
Banned
You spoke about too much with her and left basically no mystery. You need a hobby. And not just pining after ONE girl. With the way you're going she's going to think you will smother her. I used to talk way too much to women myself in the beginning. It starts to actually kill attraction.judoguy said:
Anyway. Don't call. Let her do the worrying if you are going to call or not. Just show up and wait awhile. No call. You don't hear from her, leave. And don't call. She'll eventually become curious even if she flakes and either email, text, or call you. Then report back here with what she left as a message (don't answer the phone) email or text.
Naughty Ninja
Banned
One other thing.
Why are you giving her a tour of your school in the first place? To me that's not going to attract a woman on a first meet. First it's a Sunday. The school is most likely all closed. She may flake as a woman who's NEVER met you is going on a 'tour' of a school with someone who she probably has mentioned to her friends YOU who would tell her: "be careful you hear it all the time on the news of women getting attacked on campuses." The school 'tour' may creep her out. Especially if her friends put things into her head she may flake. And I wouldn't blame her.
If she does show up. Tell her you don't want the two of you to be bored to tears on a tour of your school and to follow you to get pastries at a pastry shop. (Google one for your area) Ask her if she's ever had Tiramisu. That is more of a light hearted, quick, fun first meet rather than just coffee.
I think the "school tour" may cause her to flake in all honesty.
Why are you giving her a tour of your school in the first place? To me that's not going to attract a woman on a first meet. First it's a Sunday. The school is most likely all closed. She may flake as a woman who's NEVER met you is going on a 'tour' of a school with someone who she probably has mentioned to her friends YOU who would tell her: "be careful you hear it all the time on the news of women getting attacked on campuses." The school 'tour' may creep her out. Especially if her friends put things into her head she may flake. And I wouldn't blame her.
If she does show up. Tell her you don't want the two of you to be bored to tears on a tour of your school and to follow you to get pastries at a pastry shop. (Google one for your area) Ask her if she's ever had Tiramisu. That is more of a light hearted, quick, fun first meet rather than just coffee.
I think the "school tour" may cause her to flake in all honesty.
cordoncordon
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2006
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Tour of your school? That sounds like are really bad first date. BOR ing.
Drinks/apps and some good flirty convo sounds a lot more fun.
Drinks/apps and some good flirty convo sounds a lot more fun.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
judoguy
Don Juan
I agree with you guys on the most part but my school is national landmark/ treasure.
It has really sick views and she told me it was on her list of things to see in America. She is from South Africa.
It has really sick views and she told me it was on her list of things to see in America. She is from South Africa.
judoguy
Don Juan
I go to a military service academy. But yea, it might be boring. Maybe ill switch it to something else. I honestly dont really care anymore, this is getting to be such a hassle I am kinda hoping she flakes because I don't feel like dealing with the text/ dont text, do this or that for a date, etc. etc.
the only thing that motivates me is when I am horny. Period
the only thing that motivates me is when I am horny. Period
Naughty Ninja
Banned
Is it West Point in NY? I guess if she really wanted to see it you could show her sometime in the future. I wouldn't do it right away. You want her to be more interested in seeing you than the school. (Unless she's not going to be in the U.S. long) I'd take her for a quick dessert date.
Anyway I kindof think YOU'VE been the one sabotaging the date all along! Don't let insecurities ruin the chance of possibly meeting a cool girl. Usually the ones from other countries are more laid back and cool.
Just show her around and then go for dessert or someplace quick. Too much time together on a first date can get awkward. It'll go fine. Just stay cool! lol
Anyway I kindof think YOU'VE been the one sabotaging the date all along! Don't let insecurities ruin the chance of possibly meeting a cool girl. Usually the ones from other countries are more laid back and cool.
Just show her around and then go for dessert or someplace quick. Too much time together on a first date can get awkward. It'll go fine. Just stay cool! lol
judoguy
Don Juan
ok, sounds good. got it
judoguy said:
What do you think happens in the real world? You meet a chick and talk to her on the phone for from what you are saying... almost 1 to 1.5 hours before you ask her on a date? That sounds crazy. What are you going to talk about on your date dude? The hell with her schedule man. If she can't fit into yours why would you even bother letting her into your life?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.