"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Exclusivity...who brings it up?
- Thread starter Sofomore
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"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
lamobatsman
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2012
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- 238
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Harry Wilmington
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2012
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"What are we?"
If they ask you this, it translates to "I want to be your girlfriend." But you don't just up and say "Gee, I dunno, wanna be my girlfriend?" You still need to do a few things before you make that decision:
1. Ask her "Why do you ask?" Some girls are asking because they want to be your girlfriend, while girls who want to just be F-buddies want to see if all this dating means you're feeling something deeper. Either way, make her explain herself.
2. Assuming she says something akin to "I want to be your girlfriend" (i.e. "Well, I care about you, and I think you like me, soo...." - they're rarely ever direct and to the point), this is the time to negotiate all the things you want in a relationship. So drill her - ask her if she's cool with certain things that make you the way you are (ex. "Well, do you care about the fact that I can be messy at times? Are you gonna be cool with me hanging out with the fellas at times? Are you still going to cook my favorite meal every once in a while? Is sex still going to be a regular thing?"). You may think it's dumb to do this, but TRUST me - anything you don't bring up now, you won't get later. If you want her to give you oral sex every morning before work, bring it up now - sounds crass, but people have broken up simply for not getting that thing they wanted but didn't ask for.
3. Give her a non-committal answer that lets her know you like her, but that you have no problem walking. I usually answer with "Hmmm... well, okay, let's try it out and see what happens." It's not a full-on "yes," it's a "you're under review to see if this works" answer, one that keeps a woman on her toes as to just how much you like her, while still allowing her to say she has a boyfriend.
Hope this helps!
Fatal Jay
Master Don Juan
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- Oct 26, 2012
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VladPatton
Master Don Juan
lamobatsman said:
Because if you ask you give her the power to decide. She'll think you don't have what it takes to lead and you are handing the power to her to define the relationship from the beginning.
I concur with the majority, let them ask. Until then, just pound away and keep your mouth shut. If she cares, it'll come up. If not, you're her Ƒuckbuddy.
I used to think that as well.... but read your comment again. If you're the alpha male and you're confident in yourself, you have absolutely no reason to be afraid that she will go out with someone else, simply because she won't. And hell, if she does good for her, she sees you as a fvckbuddy and nothing else anyways, so pick up your losses and move on. If you escalate things with her the right way from the beginning, she'll be the one who asks you why you're not exclusive yet, and she'll be the one that will end up asking, even begging for it, because of HER insecurities that YOU will be the one to go out and find someone else and leave her.lamobatsman said:
Trust your instincts on this one, don't go running to her and begging for exclusivity, it lowers you at a place of weakness.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Uncharted
Master Don Juan
lamobatsman said:
If you're scared then she might sense that. If she's thinking about leaving then she's going to do it no matter what. Don't go exclusive out of fear.