"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Exclusivity...who brings it up?
- Thread starter Sofomore
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
lamobatsman
Senior Don Juan
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Harry Wilmington
Master Don Juan
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"What are we?"
If they ask you this, it translates to "I want to be your girlfriend." But you don't just up and say "Gee, I dunno, wanna be my girlfriend?" You still need to do a few things before you make that decision:
1. Ask her "Why do you ask?" Some girls are asking because they want to be your girlfriend, while girls who want to just be F-buddies want to see if all this dating means you're feeling something deeper. Either way, make her explain herself.
2. Assuming she says something akin to "I want to be your girlfriend" (i.e. "Well, I care about you, and I think you like me, soo...." - they're rarely ever direct and to the point), this is the time to negotiate all the things you want in a relationship. So drill her - ask her if she's cool with certain things that make you the way you are (ex. "Well, do you care about the fact that I can be messy at times? Are you gonna be cool with me hanging out with the fellas at times? Are you still going to cook my favorite meal every once in a while? Is sex still going to be a regular thing?"). You may think it's dumb to do this, but TRUST me - anything you don't bring up now, you won't get later. If you want her to give you oral sex every morning before work, bring it up now - sounds crass, but people have broken up simply for not getting that thing they wanted but didn't ask for.
3. Give her a non-committal answer that lets her know you like her, but that you have no problem walking. I usually answer with "Hmmm... well, okay, let's try it out and see what happens." It's not a full-on "yes," it's a "you're under review to see if this works" answer, one that keeps a woman on her toes as to just how much you like her, while still allowing her to say she has a boyfriend.
Hope this helps!
Fatal Jay
Master Don Juan
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VladPatton
Master Don Juan
lamobatsman said:
Because if you ask you give her the power to decide. She'll think you don't have what it takes to lead and you are handing the power to her to define the relationship from the beginning.
I concur with the majority, let them ask. Until then, just pound away and keep your mouth shut. If she cares, it'll come up. If not, you're her Ƒuckbuddy.
I used to think that as well.... but read your comment again. If you're the alpha male and you're confident in yourself, you have absolutely no reason to be afraid that she will go out with someone else, simply because she won't. And hell, if she does good for her, she sees you as a fvckbuddy and nothing else anyways, so pick up your losses and move on. If you escalate things with her the right way from the beginning, she'll be the one who asks you why you're not exclusive yet, and she'll be the one that will end up asking, even begging for it, because of HER insecurities that YOU will be the one to go out and find someone else and leave her.lamobatsman said:
Trust your instincts on this one, don't go running to her and begging for exclusivity, it lowers you at a place of weakness.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Uncharted
Master Don Juan
lamobatsman said:
If you're scared then she might sense that. If she's thinking about leaving then she's going to do it no matter what. Don't go exclusive out of fear.