Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Exclusivity...who brings it up?
- Thread starter Sofomore
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
lamobatsman
Senior Don Juan
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Harry Wilmington
Master Don Juan
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"What are we?"
If they ask you this, it translates to "I want to be your girlfriend." But you don't just up and say "Gee, I dunno, wanna be my girlfriend?" You still need to do a few things before you make that decision:
1. Ask her "Why do you ask?" Some girls are asking because they want to be your girlfriend, while girls who want to just be F-buddies want to see if all this dating means you're feeling something deeper. Either way, make her explain herself.
2. Assuming she says something akin to "I want to be your girlfriend" (i.e. "Well, I care about you, and I think you like me, soo...." - they're rarely ever direct and to the point), this is the time to negotiate all the things you want in a relationship. So drill her - ask her if she's cool with certain things that make you the way you are (ex. "Well, do you care about the fact that I can be messy at times? Are you gonna be cool with me hanging out with the fellas at times? Are you still going to cook my favorite meal every once in a while? Is sex still going to be a regular thing?"). You may think it's dumb to do this, but TRUST me - anything you don't bring up now, you won't get later. If you want her to give you oral sex every morning before work, bring it up now - sounds crass, but people have broken up simply for not getting that thing they wanted but didn't ask for.
3. Give her a non-committal answer that lets her know you like her, but that you have no problem walking. I usually answer with "Hmmm... well, okay, let's try it out and see what happens." It's not a full-on "yes," it's a "you're under review to see if this works" answer, one that keeps a woman on her toes as to just how much you like her, while still allowing her to say she has a boyfriend.
Hope this helps!
Fatal Jay
Master Don Juan
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VladPatton
Master Don Juan
lamobatsman said:
Because if you ask you give her the power to decide. She'll think you don't have what it takes to lead and you are handing the power to her to define the relationship from the beginning.
I concur with the majority, let them ask. Until then, just pound away and keep your mouth shut. If she cares, it'll come up. If not, you're her Ƒuckbuddy.
I used to think that as well.... but read your comment again. If you're the alpha male and you're confident in yourself, you have absolutely no reason to be afraid that she will go out with someone else, simply because she won't. And hell, if she does good for her, she sees you as a fvckbuddy and nothing else anyways, so pick up your losses and move on. If you escalate things with her the right way from the beginning, she'll be the one who asks you why you're not exclusive yet, and she'll be the one that will end up asking, even begging for it, because of HER insecurities that YOU will be the one to go out and find someone else and leave her.lamobatsman said:
Trust your instincts on this one, don't go running to her and begging for exclusivity, it lowers you at a place of weakness.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Uncharted
Master Don Juan
lamobatsman said:
If you're scared then she might sense that. If she's thinking about leaving then she's going to do it no matter what. Don't go exclusive out of fear.