EXAMPLES OF ****Y + FUNNY

[ddarkjedi]

any more examples of being ****y and funny?

 

[Mr. Mystery]

The other day I'm at work and I girl there asks me how I'm doing. We have a friendly flirty relationship.

I say, "I'm great."

She says "Really?"

I say "Yes, what the fvck!? What reason do I have to lie about that???"

I really hate it when I have to answer the same question over and over again.

She gets visibly angry, and I smile at her.

She says, "Fine, I'm not talking to you anymore."

I Laughingly say, "Okay sure" then go into Scarface mode, "She'll be back, another queloo, she'll love me again, some other time, some other day"

A few days later she says hello to me and my response is...

"Your not a woman of your word."

She says, "Huh?"

I say, "You said you weren't talking to me anymore the other day." With a smile.

She says, "Oh, that was only for that day." and smiles.

That cvnt!

Boy that was one long drawn out example...

Mr. Mystery

 

[HHloser2]

Man this thread is GOLD..

 

[neobrood]

Some of the stuff I remember...

[NOTE: THESE ARE ACTUAL EXPERIENCES. JUST GET IDEAS FROM THESE BUT DO NOT TRY TO REMAKE THEM... CUZ SHE MIGHT REACT IN A DIFFERENT MANNER]

On talking about an ex bf...
-----

Me: Was he a nice guy?
Her: MY A$$!!!
Me: So... he was nice to your a$$?
Her: (*laughs*)
Me: Only your a$$?
Her: um...
Me: Your whole body?
Her: (*giggles*)
Me: (*puts arm around her... rest is history...*)

========

In a Wendy's restaurant...

Her: Do you wanna biggie size your order?
Me: Say what?!? I already ordered a frosty! You want it biggie sized? I cannot fit all of that in here (*points tummy*).
Her: (*looks a bit shocked*)
Me: Thats already too much. I might explode if too much. You want your customers to explode?!?
Her and all who heard my remarks: (*LOL!!!*)

==========

While working with a hot co-worker

(*The manager tells us both to tell the customers that the store is closed*)
(*I continue to do my work while she does it all*)

Her: Hey neobrood! Are you gonna do it?
Me: Huh?
Her: Are we gonna do it?
Me: SAY WHAT?!?
Her: huh?
Me: Slow down girl, I'm not that easy to get...

(*The more she flirts all over... I can tell by body language she is horny as hell. The rest his history...*)

=============

I was dating a girl and she said she had a boyfriend but she enjoyed me touching her

Me: (*Hands over her shoulder... going down little by little until her a$$ region*)
Her: Hey... I have a boyfriend...
Me: Huh?
Her: If he sees this, he's gonna kick your a$$
Me: He can try...
Her: You're crazy.
Me: If he kicks my a$$, I'll kick his a$$ harder...

(*Of course she not gonna tell BF about this... or she'll be in trouble...*)

==========

With a girl who was wearing a shirt with a dragon on it. An anime//manga fan.

Me: (*Looking at her chest*)
Her: Hey! What are you looking at?
Me: I am looking at... the wonderful view...
Her: (*smiles*)
Me: I am looking at... the dragon...
Her: (*pause a bit... huh?*)
Me: The dragon in between the mountains... Thats a nice view.
Her: (*joking pissed*) You better start running...
Me: Toward the mountains? Sure...
Her: You HENTAI!!! You...

 

[DiSt0rTi0n_07]

Dunno how well these will work for everyone but even if they are too daring for ya at least you and her can have a good laugh. (hopefully)

"Say, didn't we go to different schools together?"

"Here, let me clean you off a place to sit."
Make a big display of wiping off your mouth with your hands.

Call and whistle "Lucky, here boy." When she asks what you are doing: "I'm trying to get Lucky. Want to help?"

"When she asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?"
You: "Do you have the energy?"

You: "Hi there, I have a magical watch that tells me you arent wearing pant!es."
Her: "Yes I am."
You: "My watch must be an hour ahead."

Ok so perhaps these are better if you are deep in a relationship or maybe they are just bad pickup lines. At least you laughed.

 

[waterboytke222]

new member

oops, double post..

 

[waterboytke222]

new member

This is my first post. I just found this site because i was searching for a website my buddy told me about. He's incredibly shy and we were all out trying to get him laid.. a buddy he brought with him was tellin him to be more like me and be ****y + funny and theres a website talking about it..


Heres a quick rundown of a conversation from a girl i met the other night..


I'd met her once before and blew her off because i was hookin up with someone else..

Her: Hey, you remember me, you still not talking to me?
Me: Nah, I'll still talk to you ..
Her: oh, did you hear about the fraternity party last night?
Me: Ya, I heard you were going to be there so I didn't go.
Her: What, why??
Me: Its embarrassing...
Her: What is??
Me: The way you'd be hanging all over me and stuff, its just not my style.
Her: riiiiight.., I wouldn't be doing that, why would you say that? I hardly know you.
Me: Sure sweetie, whatever helps you sleep at night.
Her: I have NO problems sleeping thank you very much...
Me: So, hows the club tonight? Having any luck finding someone better looking than me?
Her: You think you are smooth, kinda like a cat that ate the canary..
Me: Not my fault you can't handle it, sweetie
Her: "Suuuuure, whatever helps you get to sleep at night: (mocking me)
Me: Why do you keep bringin up sleeping? Are you hinting about going to bed with me? I'm not that kinda guy..
Her: (completely floored by this point) no, no , thats not what i meant.. sheesh, you are uh, urgh, um,, aack.. can i buy you a drink? I'm sorry for coming off so strong..
Me: Sure, double diesel..(redbull and vodka)
Her: So you are pretty confident meeting new people or just women in general?
Me: I'm just me, i meet whoever looks like they might be interesting
Her: But I walked up to you
Me: exxxxactly.. (ohhhhhh burn)
Her: (stumped and making no sense at all) So are you good with just women or the female population in general?
Me: That made no sense, what are you talking about? Are you trying to confuse me? Get me all disoriented so you can drag me back to your bedroom? Well thats not going to work! ( I gave her my empty glass and went to the bathroom).
Her: This really started off on the wrong foot, i dont mean to come off being aggressive or *****y, heres my number, call me sometime and maybe we can talk where its not so loud..


She leaves and i start hitting on her friend with this opening line:
Me: Hey cutie, just thought i'd go ahead and ask if i should put you on the list with the other girls I'd consider letting have a chance at me tonight... (with a big **** eating grin on her face)...
Her: you are smooth, my name is ashley..


The first part sounded like i was being mean, but i was kinda laughing and smiling through the whole thing.. her friends were getting a kick out of it, but she was getting kinda aggravated because she couldnt say anything without me turning it around like she was hitting on me and trying to get me in bed..

just thought i'd share.. glad to be here!!


Cale

 

[HHloser2]

Water i like how you pull that off, Nice indeed

 

[ToughGuy]

Nice Thread!!

This thread is excellent
I would also try to contribute to it.

 

[neobrood]

C & F... not directed at pickin up women...

***C & F can also be practiced on guys and girls youre not interested in. The more you practice, the better you will get at it.

=========

In a party when I was talking about my failure in picking up a pakistani girl

Dude: HAHAHAHA! What kind of a loser fails in picking up a low level woman? (this guy is racist. Indians, pakistanis, and other mideasterns are "low level")

Other dudes: (*laughter*)

Me: And what kind of a loser does not even try at all? (*looking at the dude who said that to me*)

Dude: (*stops laughin. Falls silent*)

Other dudes: (*louder laughter*)

=========

In the office... when I surprised a fat co-employee (estimated 350 lb woman)

Her: You surprised me. I didn't see you coming.
Me: (*hehehe*)
Her: You almost made me jump out of my seat
Me: Say what? I didn't know you can still jump.

 

[Skatanic]

C & F is just like comedy, it's all in the delivery.

It's more about 'being in the zone' and getting yourself into a mental state where these sort of lines come naturally to you. In order to do that, you must be relaxed, confident and in complete control of the situation.

Don't try to be ****y and funny when you're not anywhere near the centre of attention. A good indicator of when you are the man is when a funny situation arises and people turn to look at you, awaiting the hilarious remark.

Don't memorise lines from the forums, you're own lines will work better nine times out of ten.

Good luck guys.

Clayton.

 

[FreeStyleZ]

Yes skatanic but doesnt it take practice before u can come up with the good ones on your own? I think using some of these is a good way to start out and gain confidence with saying c+f lines.

 

[AFK Protector]

neobrood that fat woman comment was just plain evil.


but.... LMAO!!!

 

[MrCode]

Dude, waterboytke222, that was just awesome. I've got to give you some props.

That is a perfect example of one of the key components of C&F: role reversal. Instead going along with the usual "you are a hot chic therefore I want you" bullcrap that the normal guys do, you played with the girl and switched roles by making it like she was desperate to pick you up. That is just classic, and you did it very well. If you can keep teaching your shy friend that kind of stuff I think he can become quite the ladies man (as you seem to be.)

So that covers one component of C&F: role reversal. Some other components are:

• confidently verbalizing her desire (in other words telling her how obvious it is that she wants you...this relates to the role reversal.)
• misinterpretation (taking something innocent she has said and turning it into sexual interest.)
• and of course plain old teasing and neg hitting.

I think examples of all of these have been in this thread, but I'll add some more:

• Verbalizing her desire:
  1. "Come on, it is obvious you want me."
  2. "I just had to walk over here and talk to you because that hungry look in your eyes shows you are just SO into me."
     [/list=1]
  3. Misinterpretation:
     1. Her: "I want to go home."
        You: "WHOA!! We just met and you already want to take me home? Sorry, I'm just not that kind of guy."
     2. Her: "Let's go."
        You: "You want to go at it here? Right now? Wow, you sure are forward, but I'd rather go get a drink."
        [/list=1]
     3. Neg hitting, teasing:
        1. "So, shorty, are those shoes or stilts?"
        2. "Hey, that is a nice dress. My grandma has one just like it."
        3. "Oh, nice nails. Too bad they are acrylic."
           [/list=1]
        
        So there is some more stuff for you guys to work with. I'm sure you all can some up with other examples under these four differents kinds of ****y comedy.
        
        In fact, I think it is wise to follow the advice seen in some of the Double Your Dating newsletters and think of different situations where you find yourself, and then create a bunch of ****y and funny comments for those situations. Once you have memorized those and used them a lot, you will be in more of a mindset to pull off C&F on the fly, like a true master.
        
        Also take the advice earlier in the thread and practice on EVERYONE. Your friends, coworkers, and family will all enjoy a nice C&F attitude (except go easy on the sexual stuff, obviously), and by doing this it makes the whole mindset natural for you, instead of something you only do around women.
        
        OK guys, now stop reading the board and practive this stuff!
        
        EDIT: I just wanted to add that I reread waterboytke222's post again, and he also demonstrated the other "kinds" of C&F besides role reversal. Again that was just a solid example and any guys wondering about C&F should use that as a standard to measure against.

 

[comic_relief]

Originally posted by MrCode

Also take the advice earlier in the thread and practice on EVERYONE. Your friends, coworkers, and family will all enjoy a nice C&F attitude (except go easy on the sexual stuff, obviously), and by doing this it makes the whole mindset natural for you, instead of something you only do around women.

Practice on everyone is some of the best advice I have heard because I do this and it puts you into a excellent mindset it shows the ideal mindset and makes work much better on you (never know when an attractive woman will walk in on you guys)and is a perfect example for kino (of coarse go easy on family with this one. I have actually tried normal kino on a female member of my family through the form of wrestling, making fun of, and stuff as just practice for myself. If I wanted to I could ask her for almost anything and she would gladly do it for me. No not sexual but things like get me something like a CD or movie. She will run out for it) but practice it on everyone.

Neobrood: C/F is not meant to be mean but it is on how you said it. We can't get the subtle indications of how you said it online. But it sounded assholic but funny.

 

[Skatanic]

FreeStylez, I do understand what you are saying, but the point I'm making is that when a C & F line comes into your head, it's not just words on a screen to copy. It's content, context and most of all; delivery.

I know it's extremely hard to just start being ****y and funny, but that's just it - try it yourself, and if you screw up, it's just another learning situation.

Besides, you don't want to develop a reliance on a forum for your one-liners.

Do or do not - there is no try.

 

[Tenshi]

sum of these are gold.....

 

[Paintballguy]

I was out with a few hb's and a friend of mine. My friend couldnt remember the one girl's name for the life of him. Anyways, I said "Hey Jason, just call her that girl" in a way directed to her.

She smiled and punched me, so I guess it worked.

 

[goofy player]

Several years ago when I was a long-distance trucker, I saw one of the most insane instances of C&F ever. I was following another driver from my company on this little 2-lane highway across West Virginia when we pulled into this little roadhouse for breakfast. It was a Sunday morning, and the place was full of families in their Sunday best. The waitress came over to take our order.

The driver I was with was nuts. He said to the waitress in a really smartass tone and more than loud enough for the whole place to hear:

"Hey, do you know what the first thing a man from West Virginia says after he's done having sex?"

Everyone in the whole place immediately stopped eating and looked over at us. "I dunno, what?" replied the waitress. The driver said triumphantly, "Oh, sorry about that, Charlie...I didn't recognize you!"

For about three seconds after that you could hear a pin drop. I was fully expecting to get stomped to death by a bunch of angry hillbillies. Then suddenly to my great surprise (and relief), the whole place erupted in laughter.

After we were done eating, we went up to the register to pay our bill. He looked at the waitress behind the register, pointed his thumb at me, and said, "You know what he said about you?""No, what?" she asked. "He said he wants to butter your biscuit." The waitress giggled and smiled at me and, being an AFC at the time I just laughed nervously.

Looking back on that I still don't think I'll ever have quite the balls to pull off a stunt like that but it is inspiring.

 

[Hollowpoint]

Re: C & F... not directed at pickin up women...

Originally posted by neobrood
***C & F can also be practiced on guys and girls youre not interested in. The more you practice, the better you will get at it.

=========

In a party when I was talking about my failure in picking up a pakistani girl

Dude: HAHAHAHA! What kind of a loser fails in picking up a low level woman? (this guy is racist. Indians, pakistanis, and other mideasterns are "low level")

Other dudes: (*laughter*)

Me: And what kind of a loser does not even try at all? (*looking at the dude who said that to me*)

Dude: (*stops laughin. Falls silent*)

Other dudes: (*louder laughter*)

You fvcing OWNED HIM! HAHAHAHAHH!!
Glad to see your improvement!

Originally posted by Tenshi
sum of these are gold.....

Nice to see you posting here DT. You may know who I am.