Ex not texting back after first date

[AM349]

I was dating this girl last november till januari. I Decided to end things in januari because she kept pushing for something more serious and her behaviour outside of the dates started to annoy me.

This month she decided to text me again because she saw a instagram post of me on a concert. We texted for a bit and then I asked her out on a date. The date was fun and we F of course.

It has been about 10 days since the date, and she has not texted me.

This was one of the reasons why I dropped her the first time, because she likes playing games like this (she has told me).

Yes, i have other plates that i am seeing, but of course theire is some emotion involved with this one, and our time was fun so what would be the correct course of action?

Let her initiate and put in the effort or, just ask her out again?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She isn't interested enough. You were a backup plan when something else fell thru and she didn't want to be bored that day...

Move on and stop living life in the rear view mirror.

 

[SW15]

It has been about 10 days since the date, and she has not texted me.

This was one of the reasons why I dropped her the first time, because she likes playing games like this (she has told me).

Have you texted her during those 10 days?

I was dating this girl last november till januari. I Decided to end things in januari because she kept pushing for something more serious and her behaviour outside of the dates started to annoy me.

That likely didn't want something more serious if you had concerns about her behavior outside of dates. I could imagine it would be annoying to have subpar communication outside of dates.

I have disliked the text message era more because of stuff like this. I liked it better when more early stage communications were done with voice communication on the telephone. You are 21, so you never got to experience that. I am in my early 40s, so I got to experience an era around your age where cell phones were more for voice calling than sending text messages.

She isn't interested enough.

Move on and stop living life in the rear view mirror.

This is the likely course of action. I want a little bit more information from @AM349 before telling him what to do now.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Yeah she wanted to know that you still desired her and she found out. Be glad you got a f-k out of it, most guys get schooled after giving a little attention.

 

[The Duke]

I was dating this girl last november till januari. I Decided to end things in januari because she kept pushing for something more serious and her behaviour outside of the dates started to annoy me.

This month she decided to text me again because she saw a instagram post of me on a concert. We texted for a bit and then I asked her out on a date. The date was fun and we F of course.

It has been about 10 days since the date, and she has not texted me.

This was one of the reasons why I dropped her the first time, because she likes playing games like this (she has told me).

Yes, i have other plates that i am seeing, but of course theire is some emotion involved with this one, and our time was fun so what would be the correct course of action?

Let her initiate and put in the effort or, just ask her out again?

You play the exact same game she plays. She needs to wonder what you are up to. Don't communicate for a few weeks and wait to see if she hits you up again. If she doesn't, ask her out again. These types are always triggered by things like your instagram concert post.

Girls like this are a pain in the azz, and never worth the return on in investment which is why you need to stop investing mentally in her.

 

[AM349]

Have you texted her during those 10 days?



That likely didn't want something more serious if you had concerns about her behavior outside of dates. I could imagine it would be annoying to have subpar communication outside of dates.

I have disliked the text message era more because of stuff like this. I liked it better when more early stage communications were done with voice communication on the telephone. You are 21, so you never got to experience that. I am in my early 40s, so I got to experience an era around your age where cell phones were more for voice calling than sending text messages.



This is the likely course of action. I want a little bit more information from @AM349 before telling him what to do now.

Thank you for your response. No I haven’t texted her either after the date. What would you like to know?

 

[SW15]

Thank you for your response. No I haven’t texted her either after the date. What would you like to know?

You're acting too passive.

If you had called/texted her and gotten no response, then she clearly had a lack of interest.

You sitting on your butt and doing nothing for 10 days is inconclusive. You have likely made her less likely to respond to you because you've done nothing for 10 days.

You are the male. You need to initiate if you are interested.

In general, it seems like there's been a bad pattern that's developed between the two of you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Listen to this song on repeat until you get it OP.

"I don't want to live a lie...
Too many sleepless nights...
Not mentioning the fights...
I'm sorry to say, lady...

I'm walking away...
from the troubles in my life...
I'm walking away...
Ohhhh...To find a better day..."

A large portion of men would do well to understand this and stop wasting their lives on worthless women and worthless relationships that are only holding them back in life and finding someone worthy of them.

 

[sevbucmash]

She wants you to pursue her. Throw dog a bone once in a while. Make it appear to her that you are pursuing her.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I was dating this girl last november till januari. I Decided to end things in januari because she kept pushing for something more serious and her behaviour outside of the dates started to annoy me.

She isn't interested enough. You were a backup plan when something else fell thru and she didn't want to be bored that day...

Move on and stop living life in the rear view mirror.

Are you sure you're in the right thread, @BackInTheGame78?

This chick is interested, but only on her terms.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

She wants you to pursue her. Throw dog a bone once in a while. Make it appear to her that you are pursuing her.

Nah, chicks that want you to pursue aren't worth pursuing any more after you've gotten your fill

That likely didn't want something more serious if you had concerns about her behavior outside of dates.

I get the sense the concerns about her behavior were due to strong relationship pressure.

Lolz, I bet this chick will end up like @BPH's LR101 in about 17 years.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Are you sure you're in the right thread, @BackInTheGame78?

This chick is interested, but only on her terms.

Interested women don't go 10 days without texting. Let's be real.

Interested women can barely stop thinking about the guy and find any reason or no reason to text them.

 

[SW15]

I get the sense the concerns about her behavior were due to strong relationship pressure.

In the early stages of an interaction, the in-between dates communication is important.

As time goes on and there's more familiarity, it's somewhat less important. Nevertheless, I have had girlfriends that annoyed me with behaviors between in-person interactions. Some women are not good at communication in sexual interactions.

 

[BeExcellent]

Interested women don't go 10 days without texting. Let's be real.

Interested women can barely stop thinking about the guy and find any reason or no reason to text them.

Advice from the old lady:

I disagree. I think @AM349 is acting too passive, kinda being the girl here, honestly. You are the dude, ask her out.

Quit expecting women to chase after you. Its passive and unattractive. Give her something to respond to. But be cool about it.

"Hey, I'm gonna check out xyz band this weekend. You should join me."

Notice how you aren't asking permission in the above statement. It is not a question, it is declarative.

If she says ANYTHING other than "Great! When?" (asks for details)..... then you give her a thumbs up emoji and move on.

You young bucks gotta learn to lead at some point fellas.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Advice from the old lady:

I disagree. I think @AM349 is acting too passive, kinda being the girl here, honestly. You are the dude, ask her out.

Quit expecting women to chase after you. Its passive and unattractive. Give her something to respond to. But be cool about it.

"Hey, I'm gonna check out xyz band this weekend. You should join me."

Notice how you aren't asking permission in the above statement. It is not a question, it is declarative.

If she says ANYTHING other than "Great! When?" (asks for details)..... then you give her a thumbs up emoji and move on.

You young bucks gotta learn to lead at some point fellas.

I don't agree based on the context of this interaction.

This wasn't a first date, they had previously dated, OP ended things because he didn't like behaviour like she is showing now after they reconnected.

Why would OP want to encourage this behavior again and start chasing?

She is the one who reached out to him initially after months of radio silence after he ended things.

OP should not re-engage and should consider this a loss, mainly because this women is simply not interested enough for him to justify wasting any more time on.

 

[Tilex]

I don't know about you, but 10 days is long time for me.
It doesn't go by very fast.

Did you even reach out to her at all afterwards or were you just waiting for her to respond first?
No contact after 10 days from either one of you means the dynamic died and isn't coming back.
If you didn't contact her for 10 days, she already assumed you weren't interested.

This isn't game playing, it's really poor communication.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Advice from the young(er) lady...

I think you should move on and forget about her.

NOT because she's not interested (I think she is as are YOU).

But because you're incompatible in that you want/need her to initiate and pursue you and SHE wants/needs you to be the initiator and pursue HER!

SHE made the first move and reached out to you. This indicates her interest. Very clearly imo.

You asked her out, she accepted, you had a great time and f***ed! Further indicating her interest!

Why would you assume otherwise? I'm not getting that. Secure confident men assume a woman is interested until she gives clear indication she's not.

Because you had sex, and assuming you're interested as you claim you are, it's only fitting that you make the next move and at least text her for goodness sake!

Imagining myself in her shoes (as a woman who prefers a man to be secure, confident and lead), reaching out to an ex, meeting having a great time including sex, if I didn't hear from him after that (let alone for 10 days), I'd assume HE wasn't interested in taking things further and *I* would move on.

I certainly would not text him under those circumstances no matter how interested or attracted I was!

I agree with @BeExcellent first post. If you want something to happen between you, then make something happen!

If you do and she blows it off, then you can move on.

Or just move on now and forget about it. Too much time has passed, the dynamic is off and you're incompatible.

Generally speaking, unless you want a low level "easy" chick who requires little to no effort from you, stop expecting women who value themselves to chase!

JMO good luck mate.