onemorerobot
Don Juan
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Yes, who wouldn't want to hear about their ex's new sex life? ****ing *****.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Ex Mentioning The New Guy's ****
- Thread starter onemorerobot
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Scrumtulescence
Master Don Juan
That's not a bad one.
"yeah my new girlfriend's into this whole "not being fat" thing, it's pretty hot."
"yeah my new girlfriend's into this whole "not being fat" thing, it's pretty hot."
onemorerobot
Don Juan
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I'm lost.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
shes trying to make you jealous by belittling your penis size. all women think men have penis envy and its all about who has the biggest one.
women have boob envy. whomever has the biggest bounciest rack, wins. all others in the room are inferior. its true. except you cant ask one of us, because we will lie and say you're an idiot for saying that.
therefore, when you ex says her new sex life with whats his face is great and his dong is about as big as a louisville slugger, you should mention how your new girl, miss big bouncy rack, says your dong is the most awesome in the land.
it helps to go find a new miss bouncy rack and walk around with her in public where the ex can see the big bouncy rack for herself. then she will go home and stew in it.
women have boob envy. whomever has the biggest bounciest rack, wins. all others in the room are inferior. its true. except you cant ask one of us, because we will lie and say you're an idiot for saying that.
therefore, when you ex says her new sex life with whats his face is great and his dong is about as big as a louisville slugger, you should mention how your new girl, miss big bouncy rack, says your dong is the most awesome in the land.
it helps to go find a new miss bouncy rack and walk around with her in public where the ex can see the big bouncy rack for herself. then she will go home and stew in it.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Even better then everyones answer is be secure in yourself and don't give a damn, what (or who) she's doing.
She is being childish trying to get revenge on you because she still likes you (somewhat) I'm assuming you dumped her.
Rather then having some really snappy answer about how great you're doing, the best way to handle it is with a carefree attitude.
Something like.... "cool." -change the subject to whatever else... or walk away..
Me personally...
I'd probably respond "Cool story, Hansel." -thats a quote from zoolander. Then put my hand up to give her a high 5, but as she swings her hand at me I'd pull away and tool her..
three12.
She is being childish trying to get revenge on you because she still likes you (somewhat) I'm assuming you dumped her.
Rather then having some really snappy answer about how great you're doing, the best way to handle it is with a carefree attitude.
Something like.... "cool." -change the subject to whatever else... or walk away..
Me personally...
I'd probably respond "Cool story, Hansel." -thats a quote from zoolander. Then put my hand up to give her a high 5, but as she swings her hand at me I'd pull away and tool her..
three12.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
women have boob envy. whomever has the biggest bounciest rack, wins. all others in the room are inferior.
interesting
interesting
THE_ADDMAN
Master Don Juan
one time an ex called me and said...
Me: "Hello?"
Her: "ADDMAN! I'm with my new boyfriend, we're about to have SEX!"
Me: "great... so why u callin me? need me to give u guys some pointers on how to get started?"
Her: "no... I just thought maybe you'd be jealous?"
Me: "why would I be jealous?"
Her: "ohhh ok... well goodbye"
Me: "Hello?"
Her: "ADDMAN! I'm with my new boyfriend, we're about to have SEX!"
Me: "great... so why u callin me? need me to give u guys some pointers on how to get started?"
Her: "no... I just thought maybe you'd be jealous?"
Me: "why would I be jealous?"
Her: "ohhh ok... well goodbye"
Scrumtulescence
Master Don Juan
You females are loonytunes.penkitten said:
Fyi, tits are important, to some guys more than others, but they're definitely not the most important physical trait on a woman. A woman with a gorgeous face who's in great shape but has b-cup tits is going to get a lot more attention than some average looking jane with huge d-cups.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
I agree that 'bigger is not always better' in regard to boobs, but women say the same thing about men's anatomy.
This link supports the 'bigger is not better' proposition:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/172601243.html
And I imagine that there are women out there who are the envy of other women and the focus of every man because their giant rack, but they're home at night thinking "oh my aching back; these tits are a curse."
This link supports the 'bigger is not better' proposition:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/172601243.html
And I imagine that there are women out there who are the envy of other women and the focus of every man because their giant rack, but they're home at night thinking "oh my aching back; these tits are a curse."
Rata Blanca
Senior Don Juan
:crackup:THE_ADDMAN said:
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Any why is a guy hanging around a woman who's doing this?onemorerobot said:
ValleyDJing
Master Don Juan
haha! Hooray for boobies! :crazy:penkitten said:
onemorerobot
Don Juan
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She's only mentioned it recently. Until now, I've had no reason to question our friendship.Francisco d'Anconia said:Any why is a guy hanging around a woman who's doing this?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
CactusMcDougal
Don Juan
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Phallic size and mammary size are both determined by genetics. I don't see why people obsess over those kind of traits since we cannot change them; no matter how many "EnH4nce ur p3n.is s1z3" e-mails you get, whatever they're pushing, it will not work. Do women believe there is some advantage to a larger phallus? I certainly don't see much of an advantage to a large set of mammaries. Frankly, I like flat-chested women.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Alright, so she's just done this. What's causing the confusion?onemorerobot said:
onemorerobot
Don Juan
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I just don't understand how she could think that that's something I need to hear about. She's only been seeing this guy for a few weeks and it doesn't really bother me when she mentions him, but I don't want to hear about his penis and her vagina.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Well guess what, she saw that she wasn't pushing your buttons by just mentioning him so she escalated things and guess what, it worked! Besides, why shouldn't she tell you, you readily listen to everything else about him. FYI, next time she's going to show you pictures or give you a link to their YouTube video.
And I must add:
If those pictures and videos are with her naked, you can happily link to them.
It seems that you are not getting the point yet.
She is just trying to make you jealous. It could be that she wants you to care, she could still want you, or she could be just a nutcase. Nevertheless, you must stop the contact with her if she acts this way. Why hang around a girl who is retarded?
listen, if i walked up to you and started talking about my mastrubation techniques, would you sit there and take it? No. Because it is something you dont need or want to hear.
So use your fukking head and a sense of judgement.
If those pictures and videos are with her naked, you can happily link to them.
It seems that you are not getting the point yet.
She is just trying to make you jealous. It could be that she wants you to care, she could still want you, or she could be just a nutcase. Nevertheless, you must stop the contact with her if she acts this way. Why hang around a girl who is retarded?
listen, if i walked up to you and started talking about my mastrubation techniques, would you sit there and take it? No. Because it is something you dont need or want to hear.
So use your fukking head and a sense of judgement.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.