Ex gf appears a year later after dumping me and now says she never stopped loving me

[Lover_boy]

Hello everyone, so I will try to keep my story as short and to the point.

Basically I was dating this chick last year in an LDR and after 6 months she dumped me for her ex. She moved in with him and now after a year she’s hitting me up and telling me that she’s not happy, she misses me, and never stoped thinking about me. She says she got back with him because he offered her a better future.

Fast forward to now shes saying that she wants to start a new life with me and live happily with someone that she loves blah blah. But that she doesnt know when that will happen. Shes saying She can’t just leave now and wants to end things right with her current partner and then decide when she can come.

I honestly wouldn’t mind having her over for a bit to just fvck but I would not want to get back with that woman. To me it sounds that she is just monkey branching to another guy and setting Things right with me before she leaves her current relationship. She also mentioned that she might be flying to Florida in September to help a friend move and that we can see each other but only for dinner and nothing sexually because she doesn’t want to cheat on her relationship even though she doesn’t love him. I told her that if she just wants to see me for some dinner then I don’t want to see her and hang out as just friends.

She basically wants me to just be a patient little puppy and wait for her to finish her relationship so that I can then get her treat. I feel like telling her to just stay with her new life and her bf and fvck off but I also wouldn’t mind smashing again and having her over. Thoughts?

 

[manfrombelow]

If it was me, I would happily take her back for fvcks only aka treat her as plate. But LTR? Hell no, she lost that privilege when she walked out on you.

 

[IKO69]

It's a story as old as time. Likely things didn't pan out the way she hoped after you.

You should probably ignore her, but if you choose to interact with her you can mention why the change all of sudden and reaching out to you, that you thought it was over. If you really want to mess with her, you can even tell her how great the break was for you, that you are doing so much better now. That really f*cks with them because some women are so narcissistic they think life revolves them and a guy will just completely fall apart without their presence. These women get riled up when they see the guy succeeding.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Bang her but never give her exclisivity again. Rollo said One chance per woman per lifetime.

 

[manfrombelow]

Bang her but never give her exclisivity again. One chance per woman per lifetime.

You forgot to give credits to our legendary Rollo

 

[Doctor Europeo]

You forgot to give credits to our legendary Rollo

My bad. I didnt remember who said it. Edited it

 

[Lover_boy]

I am fully down with just banging but she tries to play with me the emotional and jealous card. For example, on Friday night she texts me and I don’t respond righ away. She then sends two additional messages back to back, saying like “it looks like you must be very busy” or saying things like “i know you must have someone in your life right now and perhaps I’m not as important to you anymore”.

 

[Visionist]

Block her.

 

[manfrombelow]

I am fully down with just banging but she tries to play with me the emotional and jealous card.

That's her problems man, not yours.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

People oftentimes shave regrets when they realize the grass isn't always greener.

Do what you want but remember, she replaced you once, she will likely do it again at some point.

Something about you isn't what she really wants, she is settling for you.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Women like her make me so sick I wouldn't even want to fvck them.

Men need to stop excusing morally repugnant behaviors from women like her just to get laid. These women will never learn otherwise.

 

[Grounded eagle]

Hello everyone, so I will try to keep my story as short and to the point.

Basically I was dating this chick last year in an LDR and after 6 months she dumped me for her ex. She moved in with him and now after a year she’s hitting me up and telling me that she’s not happy, she misses me, and never stoped thinking about me. She says she got back with him because he offered her a better future.

Fast forward to now shes saying that she wants to start a new life with me and live happily with someone that she loves blah blah. But that she doesnt know when that will happen. Shes saying She can’t just leave now and wants to end things right with her current partner and then decide when she can come.

I honestly wouldn’t mind having her over for a bit to just fvck but I would not want to get back with that woman. To me it sounds that she is just monkey branching to another guy and setting Things right with me before she leaves her current relationship. She also mentioned that she might be flying to Florida in September to help a friend move and that we can see each other but only for dinner and nothing sexually because she doesn’t want to cheat on her relationship even though she doesn’t love him. I told her that if she just wants to see me for some dinner then I don’t want to see her and hang out as just friends.

She basically wants me to just be a patient little puppy and wait for her to finish her relationship so that I can then get her treat. I feel like telling her to just stay with her new life and her bf and fvck off but I also wouldn’t mind smashing again and having her over. Thoughts?

Lots of red flags here.Let’s see,it was a long distance relationship,lasted only six months and the guy she left you for was her ex,which means that for a possibly significant amount of time during your relationship she had him on her mind.

This girl is playing games.What they are doesn’t matter considering the track record you have with her.If you can fvck her a few times without catching feelings and with minimal investment then go for it.Short of that,tell her to go kick rocks.

 

[Grounded eagle]

She then sends two additional messages back to back, saying like “it looks like you must be very busy” or saying things like “i know you must have someone in your life right now and perhaps I’m not as important to you anymore”.

You should have responded to this with,”Yeah.”

 

[firstbornunicorn]

I am fully down with just banging but she tries to play with me the emotional and jealous card. For example, on Friday night she texts me and I don’t respond righ away. She then sends two additional messages back to back, saying like “it looks like you must be very busy” or saying things like “i know you must have someone in your life right now and perhaps I’m not as important to you anymore”.

Before you mentioned this I was leaning towards giving her a chance, but this is a little too manipulative. Take it slow, don't rush back into it, don't get her pregnant.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Female chiming in and a bit surprised you bothered to even create a thread about her. She's taking up way WAY too much mental space in your brain.

Avoid women like her, they're toxic, SHE is toxic.

Take yourself out of the situation and read what's quoted above as if your brother or good friend were posting it. What would you say and advise?

Get rid! Her words and behavior may be the most manipulative and toxic I've seen.
Again, I am a woman saying this.
I am very familiar with manipulative and toxic women like her. They're users and takers.

No disrespect intended but even just creating this thread which means your considering going back there is just the type of simp behavior that causes women to behave like this.

Stop feeding the monster. Block her. Go no contact.

If you must say something simply say you're not interested and wish her well, bye.

Nothing of value will ever become of this.

She does not want you. She wants whatever she thinks you can provide just like with her ex in the first quote above.

I'm sorry mate, all the best.

Like I've always said...once a woman shows you aren't actually what she wants, if she gets back with you, it will only be until she finds someone else again.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

True but let's be fair. While YES there are plenty of women who behave this way, even myself many moons ago when I was an entitled brat , some of us have grown up and learned that the whole world doesn't revolve around us and that life is not a Disney fairytale.

OP's girl hasn't learned that yet and she never will as long as there are men ready and willing to take her back and/or allow her to shyt all over them, i.e. simp.

But how is a man to know whether she has or not? It's not like you'd be able to find the truth out until you got back with her and by then if it was all a lie it would be too late.

 

[Lover_boy]

I agree with @catsmeow 100%, I've known this girl for a while and her behaviors have always been the same. I'm not gonna lie, she is taking up a lot of mental space but I would not take her back. If she wants to come visit me for s3x then fine, but nothing else. The issue is that she keeps trying to manipulate me as how she used to in the past. (Hence what I think she's looking for in me which is a stroke of emotional ego). But since I am not showing her the attention she craves via text or call then she uses toxic manipulation and makes herself appear as the victim.

 

[Lover_boy]

But how is a man to know whether she has or not? It's not like you'd be able to find the truth out until you got back with her and by then if it was all a lie it would be too late.

Her actions are still the same

 

[2Rocky]

I think the likely hood of becoming emotionally attached is TOO high for you to even use her as a sex partner.
She's showed you what she thinks of you and your value.

also mentioned here: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/fwb-with-an-ex.274621/post-2958011

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Of course you can know, like with this girl, read her words (the ones I quoted), pay attention to her actions, isn't it obvious?

She told OP she got back with her ex because of what he could provide. RED FLAG.

She told him she wants to get back with him, but doesn't know when. RED FLAG.

The final manipulation - "I'm not important to you anymore." RED FLAG

WTF, she dumped him!

This is the epitome of entitlement.

If a man can't tell or know what her (or any woman's) MO is from that, then not sure what else there is to say.

Well yeah, I think from this one it's pretty obvious, but very few women are going to say that type of stuff when they want to get back with someone. Most will say all the right things.