everyone, if you had one peice of advice to pass on to someone about women...

oc16

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If you feel like an invisible man around a woman and have to work to get her attention, she's NOT Interested.

Women are like cats and don't play hard to get, if she likes you she will help you and chase you (e.g, initiate text, try and make eye contact, put herself in your proximity).

Funny thing is, women complain that they don't and shouldn't chase men that they are interested in, but they do!
 

RickTheToad

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what would it be?


Mine would be, and it literary took me 25 years to get this, the "motif" of my life is me giving time to women who were in the end undeserving of my time.

Do not let your ego or self esteem control you when it comes to women. do not **** or date women for the sake of doing it, or at the very least, be careful of who you poke around with, because being with a crap women is 10x more damaging than being alone.
Use spellcheck in all posts and correspondences.
 

Lynx nkaf

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Thanks jophil, I've skimmed the threads from time to time while away and you've been giving excellent advice at every turn!

I wanted to take a break from SS as my wife and I were having our first baby. As I watched her go through being pregnant and having our mega-cute daughter it was like watching "machine code". No one thing (from my POV) seems to have made my wife feel more "secure' than having our daughter and caring for her. Just the other day I asked her a question "If women could have just one, which would make them feel more secure - to be in a healthy relationship with no child or to have a child with no relationship." As hard as she tried to give the programmed safe answer she couldn't help but pick the later. And then she sort of laughed as she listed off friends and co-workers who were in their 30's and early 40's who were (or are) in this exact same position. Women will provision their own security if needed. And they will go to great lengths to do it.

As I skimmed the threads over the past year I observed a common theme which I hadn't noticeed when immersed in SS more daily. It's how AFC's and even DJ's label women. As AFC's we tend to call them cowards, devious, cunning, strategizing, manipulators, liars, etc, etc, etc. Then as DJ's we both observe and learn to deal with the fact that women are covert, indirect and emotional. A lot of guys stop there (which is fine). But for me I kept hearing "a woman's primary need is security" only to have the conversation or thread move on in another direction.

Now, when my wife is acting or speaking indirectly (which she always will), I just quickly chalk it up to it's source - a woman's need to constantly feel a healthy amount of security which in turn places her in a frame where she feels the need to be indirect and covert. And when she gets emotional, it's probably just the outwardly observable affects of the security/insecurity equation being imbalanced.

When it comes to attraction it's interesting to apply the security theory. Why exactly is a woman seemingly more attracted to a guy who has other women around him? Sure, we often want what others have. But there must be more to it than that.

For guys it doesn't matter if 20 million guys think Marissa Miller is hot or just me - she's just plain hot in my opinion. You can even take this a step further. A guy could be told directly in no uncertain terms that the hotty across the bar with 10 chumps in orbit is the DSM Case Book example of the Cluster-B wack job AW and the guy would still find her desireable and want to close. Or reverse it. Surround a HB5 with a bunch of guys and even an AFC isn't going to show interest.

Yet for women it appears to be a lot different. I think when they see a guy with other women they need to know that they are as desireable as the other women he appears to have selected. That rings of a sense of underlying insecurity (w/r to physical appearance and the ultimate ability to bear her own child) which needs to be balanced. And a woman knows that if the guy can't provide at least some of the type of security that a woman needs he wouldn't be surrounded by all these women thus there must be something there (even if he's just a PUA he's provisioning some of the healthy type of security that all women need - validating their desireablity).

I could go on and on. And perhaps these are too broad of strokes being applied to too many situations and categories. Yet, there seems to be a lot more to the statement "a women's primary need is security" than one might think.
Sinistar was onto something here. I will research more posts on SS about security/insecurity.

So, I realise I'm replying to a 2008 thread but...
I think the character assassination and vindictive rage that post-breakup or divorcing women feel towards their man has to do with lowering the perceived high security image she thinks other women see in him, because he was just with me.
"If I can't have him, nobody will"
When I have witnessed my man responding to a woman's interest in him solely based on MY interest in him, I have always retreated. I refuse to compete with this new woman. Or accepting him 'forcing' me to compete with her to keep claim to him.

He responded to her. He is no longer secure to me/for me.

I often review and wonder if I merely feel rejection or do I also feel regret, at not competing with the other woman?
It's like I tell myself, his social IQ is too low for me, if he wasn't able to catch on to why she showed interest.
Or I tell myself, this is the end of his attraction to me.

So its time to go now.



In a way, releasing him to the new woman does me a favour. His disrespect/disloyalty will no longer be a source of pain.

I'm still trying to circumvent and shortcircuit my oneitis. Its challenging AF!
Especially when I feel like I would accept anything he does as he is loved unconditionally by me.

Its just that niggling little subconscious voice (is that the high selfesteem or the anti-doormat or is it actually a 'feminist' voice?, hard to say)...that tiny little voice that says "let him go"

I enjoy stream of consciousness writing. I think that's how I just wrote this post.

Over the last few weeks, I have concluded that security(personal safety-type security and that implicit trust type security that you are part of a team in your relationship) is really what I value most.
I always thought that honesty and courtesy and loyalty were my top important traits in a man.

Its security that's number one.
 

LuksSkywalker

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Even the "good girl" is capable of ****ing you over and ruining your life.. stop treating them any different. Keep it business as usual, no exceptions!
"Good girl" is nothing but a "bad girl" not yet discovered. Every girl that starts getting some newfound attention becomes less desperate("good") and more involved in/with other men.
If she gets lot of attention from lot of guys she has more options so she can be picky and every now and then she can "try" different guys.

Same story is with us.
 

Jor-El

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Avoid marriage and avoid relationships.

They are for women and mostly benefit women.

Instead focus on your goals and dreams and don't waste your time on that.

How you should deal with women is as fvck buddies or one night stands only.

Only consider marriage or relationships if you really want one when you turn 30 but still remember in the end marriage and relationships mostly benefit women. Marriage is a government contract and unstable corporation of two that turns over half your money and resources to a woman when it ends and relationships are designed to trap you into marriage eventually all the while keeping you from having a variety of women to sample.

Prenups don't even necessarily protect you 100% of the time so keep that in mind too if you ever decide to get married.

Yup,still holds 12 years on. Remember,

Marriage is a trick, a device designed by society to make trouble between two people who would otherwise get on very well.
 

Blacksheep

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what would it be?


Mine would be, and it literary took me 25 years to get this, the "motif" of my life is me giving time to women who were in the end undeserving of my time.

Do not let your ego or self esteem control you when it comes to women. do not **** or date women for the sake of doing it, or at the very least, be careful of who you poke around with, because being with a crap women is 10x more damaging than being alone.
I've lost so many opportunities on my life because of women... Got caught on that sh1t talk to fulfill their needs and just fck up my goals and projects. Not their fault, but mine... I allowed it.

So, never put a puss1 above yourself... Never!

You will end up frustrated, depressed, sad... While that women would give a sh1t for you and will be fcking another guy telling how you're a sh1t.

Go, date, have sex... But don't let this took off your life purpose.

And of course, never get married.
 

derby1

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That women are sneaky as hell, and are so fast & cunning with their phones/social media. they know all the little tricks & crafty moves the phone/SM settings are capable of......
 

Max Baker

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That women are sneaky as hell, and are so fast & cunning with their phones/social media. they know all the little tricks & crafty moves the phone/SM settings are capable of......
Especially when they keep their phone on silent and rest it face down.

Never trust a woman. And avoid women with horses.
 

derby1

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And avoid women with horses.
whats the reasons for this. I know a couple and wouldn't say there dad pays for anything, so theyre not spoilt in that sense?

is it a behaviour thing?
 
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