"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Escaping the Torture Zone

CJS

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Back Story: Met a chick through a friend of a friend while home in NY over the summer. We hit it off, but she had a BF she didn't want to cheat on so we just chilled. A few months later she broke up with him and started texting me 24/7, saying she couldn't wait to seem me next time I come home. After a month of this, I went home for the holidays. We chilled the first day and had a great time, but she resisted any moves on my part, which I'm not used to. We spooned all night (I stayed at her place) and it was torture. I got aggravated and ended up not seeing her the rest of the trip. I leave, and the day I get back she wants to fly out to see me.

Now: She's here, staying with me for several more days, but it's the same situation. Not getting anywhere physically, but she's putting pictures of us on the internet and calling my dog hers. We're also having a great time hanging out.

I don't ever put sex on a pedestal and always just try to have a good time, but I'm not a strong enough man to have a gorgeous girl sleep next to me every night while I'm not getting any, especially when I have other GF's I could be seeing. I woke up today with blue balls I'd wish upon no man.

Any help would be much appreciated, because I'm clueless and going a little crazy.

Thanks
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Maximummax

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You are acting needy.
She just did a branch swing, she wants to fill the gap of bf.
You now back off and act like normal, uneffected and be funny and outgoing. If you push hard she might move away from you and find an other guy
 

CJS

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I hear ya. I've just been my normal self though. Not pushy or needy. Just showed her a great time, then when we went to bed I made a subtle move and we made out for a few seconds, then when she stopped I didn't push it or say a word of my frustration. I just acted like it was cool and went to sleep.
 

Iceberg

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I agree with the guy who said she pulled a branch swing. Only difference is, you're not her f**king boyfriend, so you have no reason to tolerate this stuff.

Either she needs to step up, or step away. Now you're stuck with this girl in your apartment for several days, and she's not putting out. So that means any other plates you want to bang are inaccessible.

When I'm in your position, I just cut the girl off. She needs to be put on ice while she decides whether or not she wants to bang. But I damn sure won't have some girl sleeping in my bed night after night when it's not sexual. This isn't 8th grade.

She gets the benefit of a boyfriend (attention, Facebook postings, someone to cuddle with at night) without making any type of commitment to you, sexual or otherwise. F**k that.

If you're stuck with her for a few more days, the best you can do is cut off the affection. Let her wonder if you're losing sexual interest. Then perhaps she escalates in order to keep you on the hook.
 

CJS

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Exactly. It looks like as soon as her BF was out of her life, she needed someone to fill that void asap. I would otherwise never put up with this nonsense. I've got other chicks that I'm having to tell I'm too busy with work to see right now. And sleeping next to me in my tempurpedic is a privilege.

I'm going to go cold asap and see if I can salvage something, if not she's probably going to have to get used to sleeping on a couch for the next week.

Much obliged
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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BigSmooth

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Iceberg said it perfectly.


Keep us informed. I'm interested to see how it plays out.
 

horaholic

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Make her sleep on the couch. If she asks why, tell her straight up.
 

PapiChulo

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Canada, eh?
Bring another woman to your place and have sex with her while she sleeps on the couch.
 

CJS

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Update: Freezed her out the rest of the day, then she had a total attitude switch. All was well for the next 48 hours. Sex was great. Then out of nowhere yesterday morning, things got worse than before. Now it just sits on my couch texting and has no interesting in doing anything.

My mind is completely blown.

I'm just ignoring her and seriously considering having another chick come over while she's here, just to prove a point.

Any ideas? And yes, the couch is where it will sleep tonight if it doesn't fix its attitude.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Dust 2 Dust

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I wouldn't tolerate hot and cold behavior in my home. I would have already shown her the door.
 
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