Entitlement

[SteadyNeuros]

That's what I need.

I'm not afraid to talk to a woman per se; I'm afraid to impose on a stranger -- any stranger. I can't bring myself to approach an unfamiliar guy (platonically) for the same reason, because I'm simply unable to justify any such presumption of unsolicited contact. My perpetual wish is for a situation to arise in which she and I would be brought together organically, without any need for "cold approach", though I suppose that's attributable to longtime consumption of fiction (mostly anime) in which the girl falls into the guy's lap by sheer circumstance. Try to understand that my problem isn't exactly approach anxiety, but rather intrusion anxiety. Subtle difference, I suppose. To put it another way: Even if I memorized a script drafted by the world's greatest seducer for the purpose of that very encounter, I just couldn't make a move into a woman's personal space. I couldn't force my presence on her or anyone else. It's paralyzing.

So this is my moment of weakness, where I ask online for someone to formulate the magic combination of words to convince me that it's okay to initiate an interaction with a stranger. How do I make myself do more than just ****ily stare at her as I swagger past? How does a horny, relationship-starved, chronically alone man cultivate the entitlement needed to penetrate an unwitting woman's spirit with his own?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Try to talk to girls at bars/clubs. Most girls there are there are open to meeting people.

 

[plumber]

yeh, this probably can be traced to some childhood stuff. Lots of people have the same thing, we call it being shy. Its normal, and its also one of the most important things to work on, like foundation level stuff.

How do you feel when someone cold approaches you? It depends on when, how, who, and your mood.


Dale Carnegie, how to win friends and influence people.

To get to know ppl you must join groups of ppl. Its required, no other way. Take classes in local college at night...., church, sports, community service, a tavern that is not so loud so you can talk.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Walk a dog. Everyone wants to talk to you.

 

[Agamemnon43]

At least you are right in your assessment of the situation. It's basically shyness but with a combination of introvert and feeling of lower worth. It would be helpful if you tell us how old you are though.

There is no magical recipe for this. I suffered from major shyness in my teen years, but experience, combined with some personal successes which made me realize i'm better and smarter than most people (women especially), perhaps a bit of delusion in that sense, has made me overcome it. Actually it was my stuttering that made me dread any kind of new conversation, especially if I initiate first, and especially with women. I thought to myself "man, if only I didn't have the stutter, I'd be the most confident and talkative guy out there". Little did i know that I needed to invert the process- it was the lack of confidence that made me stutter. Now I can speak in public, sing in public, anything. Once I started to feel spontaneous and good in my own skin that I could speak without stuttering. I'm sure there are other guys with stutter that can relate. It's a long process, but it's mostly mental.,

People might actually like you if you start opening up. Of course, some encounters go wrong, but most go just fine. Majority of people are actually shy, and they like if you open up any kind of conversation first.
Try asking some general question- you will be surprised when you find out most people are willing to help. And they will respect you for asking. Also try talking to men first before gaining experience. Like most guys here say, no theory will help you here, just practice. Join social circles. Force yourself to do it- there is no other way to start.
One day you will be surprised how easy it is to open up to people, and even better, that they like it.
You must also become a bit selfish to have entitlement to intrude other's space, especially women. Trust me, they WANT attention, if anything.

 

[SteadyNeuros]

It would be helpful if you tell us how old you are though.

I'm 33, almost 34. In your estimation, how much of a difference does age make in the context of attraction? I'm rather hoping it's not a dealbreaker to be mid-30s without any flirting experience at all.