Divorced w 3
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2022
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Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Blows my mind, took me a long a$$ time to figure out but once you listen and make a woman comfortable with no judgement she will tell you her deepest/darkest secrets. Most men ain't ready for that action though“the problem is most men don’t listen”
Very true. This includes most of my good friends.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Importantly(and dangerously)overrated https://stateofmindpodcast.libsyn.com/why-empathy-is-not-helpful-in-decision-making-relationshipsAlso empathy is important
If they are anything like the ones ive heard most men aren't going to want to hear themBlows my mind, took me a long a$$ time to figure out but once you listen and make a woman comfortable with no judgement she will tell you her deepest/darkest secrets. Most men ain't ready for that action though
And you'll never run out of things to talk about because they give you like 3-4 segues into different topics you can ask them about or talk about every exchange...but most men are too busy thinking about the next thing they want to say instead of actively listening.Blows my mind, took me a long a$$ time to figure out but once you listen and make a woman comfortable with no judgement she will tell you her deepest/darkest secrets. Most men ain't ready for that action though
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Advice from the old lady:
If she can't openly share wth a man she cannot emotionally connect with him. Seduction is rooted in understanding her emotional needs. This requires listening to gain understanding.
That is different than listening whilst impatiently waiting to speak. In listening to make your own point you will miss much of what she is saying because your brain is focused on what you plan to say rather than what she is saying. You'll miss opportunities to understand her and what her needs are - you'll miss the roadmap to seduction.
This is why PUA artists always say she should do most of the talking on a date. It's not so you the man remain mysterious. That's an element but it's not as important as learning about her, your target or prey.
The more you listen to understand the more seduction tools you have in your toolbox.
But most men overlook the value of listening to understand and that is one reason why men who are charming and successful with women are relatively rare (and sought after by said women.)
I know how to listen to men. It is one of the things men find deeply irrestistable about me. They feel seen and understood. It leads to men falling in love because they feel an emotional connection.
Listening is a tremendous skill. It is also something great leaders do often and well.
You're a girlfriend/unlicensed therapist hybrid thenI have a big problem: I can listen very well, and women often tell me how they can relax with me
How do you know you've crossed the treshold?I agree. Don't become her therapist.