Divorced w 3
Master Don Juan
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You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Blows my mind, took me a long a$$ time to figure out but once you listen and make a woman comfortable with no judgement she will tell you her deepest/darkest secrets. Most men ain't ready for that action though“the problem is most men don’t listen”
Very true. This includes most of my good friends.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Importantly(and dangerously)overrated https://stateofmindpodcast.libsyn.com/why-empathy-is-not-helpful-in-decision-making-relationshipsAlso empathy is important
If they are anything like the ones ive heard most men aren't going to want to hear themBlows my mind, took me a long a$$ time to figure out but once you listen and make a woman comfortable with no judgement she will tell you her deepest/darkest secrets. Most men ain't ready for that action though
And you'll never run out of things to talk about because they give you like 3-4 segues into different topics you can ask them about or talk about every exchange...but most men are too busy thinking about the next thing they want to say instead of actively listening.Blows my mind, took me a long a$$ time to figure out but once you listen and make a woman comfortable with no judgement she will tell you her deepest/darkest secrets. Most men ain't ready for that action though
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Advice from the old lady:
If she can't openly share wth a man she cannot emotionally connect with him. Seduction is rooted in understanding her emotional needs. This requires listening to gain understanding.
That is different than listening whilst impatiently waiting to speak. In listening to make your own point you will miss much of what she is saying because your brain is focused on what you plan to say rather than what she is saying. You'll miss opportunities to understand her and what her needs are - you'll miss the roadmap to seduction.
This is why PUA artists always say she should do most of the talking on a date. It's not so you the man remain mysterious. That's an element but it's not as important as learning about her, your target or prey.
The more you listen to understand the more seduction tools you have in your toolbox.
But most men overlook the value of listening to understand and that is one reason why men who are charming and successful with women are relatively rare (and sought after by said women.)
I know how to listen to men. It is one of the things men find deeply irrestistable about me. They feel seen and understood. It leads to men falling in love because they feel an emotional connection.
Listening is a tremendous skill. It is also something great leaders do often and well.
You're a girlfriend/unlicensed therapist hybrid thenI have a big problem: I can listen very well, and women often tell me how they can relax with me
How do you know you've crossed the treshold?I agree. Don't become her therapist.