"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Embarrasing but incredibly funny...

R

Ronin I

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Last night I go out and get super-hammered. So today while nursing a serious hangover I chilled with my girl.

So we're chilling on the couch and we start going at it. We move things to the bedroom and I bang the hell out of her for about 30 minutes (wearing a condom it can sometimes be impossible for me to cvm). Anyway, we take a break but before I know it I'm railing away again.

So I'm finally getting close to busting a nut and all of a sudden, I rip the loudest freaking fart you've ever heard. She was like "What was that?!" but before she could finish her sentence the stench of a nasty beer fart creeped out from beneath the covers.

That was the end of our session but I laughed hysterically for like 10 minutes.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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W

wh01987

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA that is great
 
E

Engetsu

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LOL thats some naaaasty $hit
 
Q

quest

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i was once climbing into the back of the car to meet a chick back there and let rip. that was pretty funny.. more fart stories?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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P

PuertoRican_Lover

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we have sunken to such low depths that we are now sharing fart stories - i guess this is a man's website - lets see if any women respond.
 
J

jbbrain

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puerto man,

Chill out, you've become Soooooo serious with your old age!:confused:
 
B

b's nuts

Master Don Juan
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If I was up your ass you'd know
i like to take my girls and put it on my ass and fart on her hand. She hates it, but its so damn funny. I don't really hold back, i will usually fart on her everytime i fart.
 
S

ShortyBrown

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I burped so loudly in a restaurant in Montreal that my ex-boyfriend was so embarrassed he tried to walk out. (everyone in the joint was staring:D)
 
M

Miles Davis

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My ex-gf was blowin me while i was sitting on her Laz-Y-Boy. She was on her knees. As I was just about to c u m, I blew a huge fart in her face from all the excitement. She turned her head in disgust, and I got my load all over her carpet. Spent the next hour rolling on the floor laughing.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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