That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
blind leading the blindbrett012 said:ElStud I think one of the posts on sosuave.com explains your situation well. If you ignore every other post on this board, read this.
The best advice is NOT to change. Does that mean it would be a good idea to ignore my posts? Yes, but I think that last paragraph will further help you.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.Lishy said:Talking to Elstud is like talking to a brick wall ... Only the brick wall has more common sense!
sounds to me like "How to win friends and influence people"SilverSonnet said:I read this once, from an E-Book, I currently have:
It is easier to help people by praising them, which makes them try to work harder, than it is to criticize them, and de-motivate them.
So, lay off him. You haven't got anything nice, or productive to say, shut yer fecking traps.
ElStud said:This will probably be my last reply to this thread, because I know what you're trying to do and that is, cause a huge 3 page flame war, not happening. I can get pull numbers, I can get interest from most sets and I can honestly say, that not ONE piece of advice I've gotten has ever helped me, except for the occassional "good" advice people give. Hating on me and making assumptions aint gonna help me nor is arguing with the likes of you people.
brett012 said:If you want to help him then why are you insulting him? Btw, I am a virgin but I really think ElStud isn't trying to get laid, which is why I'm giving him advice.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
the best advice is NOT to change?! Are you crazy!? you'll keep doing what doesn't work? You can put up a charade all you want but the girls will see through it eventually. You HAVE to change yourself. That's the only way to become successful. If you change yourself and then get the respect in a real way then there's nothing to hide or worry about. This advice you gave, brett, is really stupid, especially in Elstud's case.brett012 said:ElStud I think one of the posts on sosuave.com explains your situation well. If you ignore every other post on this board, read this.
The best advice is NOT to change. Does that mean it would be a good idea to ignore my posts? Yes, but I think that last paragraph will further help you.
Nothing against you ElStud/Viper, but giving you advice doesn't work, so there's no point in even trying.ElStud/Viper said:Hey, guys. Well, I'm a 15 year old freshmen in High School and I have a problem, that definitely effects my life. Yep, I have a bad memory, for instance - Say there's a big social event and I go to it, I remember little bits and pieces of it, but don't really remember every moment or alot of things that happened while I was there. Also, I have a hard time focusing, for instance, when the teachers in class giving a lecture, its hard for me to really take in what he says, like I'll be looking at him and I'll hear what hes saying, but it seems to "Go in one ear and out the other" in a sense. It's the same with alot of things, when I talk to people or see a beautiful girl, I'll remember them, but not in full detail, like I'll try to remember what they look like later on, even the setting that it happened in and it will be a blurry, incomplete image and I'll have a hard time remembering alot of the things that happened/where said while we were talking.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.