You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
blind leading the blindbrett012 said:ElStud I think one of the posts on sosuave.com explains your situation well. If you ignore every other post on this board, read this.
The best advice is NOT to change. Does that mean it would be a good idea to ignore my posts? Yes, but I think that last paragraph will further help you.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.Lishy said:Talking to Elstud is like talking to a brick wall ... Only the brick wall has more common sense!
sounds to me like "How to win friends and influence people"SilverSonnet said:I read this once, from an E-Book, I currently have:
It is easier to help people by praising them, which makes them try to work harder, than it is to criticize them, and de-motivate them.
So, lay off him. You haven't got anything nice, or productive to say, shut yer fecking traps.
ElStud said:This will probably be my last reply to this thread, because I know what you're trying to do and that is, cause a huge 3 page flame war, not happening. I can get pull numbers, I can get interest from most sets and I can honestly say, that not ONE piece of advice I've gotten has ever helped me, except for the occassional "good" advice people give. Hating on me and making assumptions aint gonna help me nor is arguing with the likes of you people.
brett012 said:If you want to help him then why are you insulting him? Btw, I am a virgin but I really think ElStud isn't trying to get laid, which is why I'm giving him advice.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
the best advice is NOT to change?! Are you crazy!? you'll keep doing what doesn't work? You can put up a charade all you want but the girls will see through it eventually. You HAVE to change yourself. That's the only way to become successful. If you change yourself and then get the respect in a real way then there's nothing to hide or worry about. This advice you gave, brett, is really stupid, especially in Elstud's case.brett012 said:ElStud I think one of the posts on sosuave.com explains your situation well. If you ignore every other post on this board, read this.
The best advice is NOT to change. Does that mean it would be a good idea to ignore my posts? Yes, but I think that last paragraph will further help you.
Nothing against you ElStud/Viper, but giving you advice doesn't work, so there's no point in even trying.ElStud/Viper said:Hey, guys. Well, I'm a 15 year old freshmen in High School and I have a problem, that definitely effects my life. Yep, I have a bad memory, for instance - Say there's a big social event and I go to it, I remember little bits and pieces of it, but don't really remember every moment or alot of things that happened while I was there. Also, I have a hard time focusing, for instance, when the teachers in class giving a lecture, its hard for me to really take in what he says, like I'll be looking at him and I'll hear what hes saying, but it seems to "Go in one ear and out the other" in a sense. It's the same with alot of things, when I talk to people or see a beautiful girl, I'll remember them, but not in full detail, like I'll try to remember what they look like later on, even the setting that it happened in and it will be a blurry, incomplete image and I'll have a hard time remembering alot of the things that happened/where said while we were talking.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.