Ego: Is it good or is it bad

[Medina]

Ego is a big part of Masculinity it seems, but I've also heard that good things can come from completely letting it go

Thoughts?

 

[samspade]

Neither good nor bad.

Just something that exists and has an evolutionary purpose, but can get in the way of certain goals. My life is more peaceful the less effect my ego has on me. Or maybe, the more I recognize it and don't act impulsively on it.

 

[bat soup]

Ego is a big part of Masculinity it seems, but I've also heard that good things can come from completely letting it go

Thoughts?

Isn't Ego literally your sense of who you are? Your self-concept. So you can't really let it go because you will always have some idea of who you are. The problem is when there is a big gulf between who you really are and who you imagine or present yourself to be.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Neither. It depends on if you are in control of it or if you let it control you.

It's like asking is water good or bad. It depends on the context and situation. If you are caught in a Flash flood, it isn't so good. If you are drinking it from a cup to quench your thirst it's good.

 

[bat soup]

Ego is a big part of Masculinity it seems, but I've also heard that good things can come from completely letting it go

Thoughts?

If you're interested in this subject, try watching the film Revolver. It really explores this issue in an unusual way.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

It doesn't matter, you can't get rid of ego, it doesn't actually exist, and people who claim to have removed their ego actually have more of an ego than anyone else. Letting it go, in the sense of not being attached to your sense of identity, is ideal, but that doesn't necessarily have much of an impact on your success with women.

 

[Mike32ct]

It's more a question of which one fits your personality and which one you can use properly to good effect.

1. A big ego guy (done right) can use his grand self image to propel him to success, i.e. be fiercely competitive to try his best to live up to that image.

2. A small ego guy (done right) will be super humble, potentially downplay his ability and thus overprepare which can also lead to success.

I personally lean more towards #2.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

For some things you NEED it... It's our job to ensure that it doesn't become corrupt.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It's more a question of which one fits your personality and which one you can use properly to good effect.

1. A big ego guy (done right) can use his grand self image to propel him to success, i.e. be fiercely competitive to try his best to live up to that image.

2. A small ego guy (done right) will be super humble, potentially downplay his ability and thus overprepare which can also lead to success.

I personally lean more towards #2.

Too "small" of an ego won't sell himself or speak up, he won't seek credit where it's due, and eventually will be "stolen from" or "used" to prop up a "bigger ego" person.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Ego is a big part of Masculinity it seems, but I've also heard that good things can come from completely letting it go

Thoughts?

Too much of anything can be good or bad. Likely, what provokes you to game is ego but prior to learning, you can resort to ego in cowardly fashion.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Having an ego equates to being a slave to outside variables.
When your ego is active, your self-worth is not defined by you, but instead you are measuring your worth - by comparison to others.

That... which you give the opportunity to feel good about yourself, also has the same power to make you feel bad about yourself.
Why breathe life into something like that?

 

[TheGambino]

Having an ego equates to being a slave to outside variables.
When your ego is active, your self-worth is not defined by you, but instead you are measuring your worth - by comparison to others.

Or what others think of you...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Having an ego equates to being a slave to outside variables.
When your ego is active, your self-worth is not defined by you, but instead you are measuring your worth - by comparison to others.

That... which you give the opportunity to feel good about yourself, also has the same power to make you feel bad about yourself.
Why breathe life into something like that?

I didn't feel "ego" necessarily had to dealing others viewpoints and upholding an artificially increased "rep". But if ego and "self image " are two separate entities then I stand corrected. I felt ego and "self image " at least had some overlap.

 

[Bigpapa]

Ego is a big part of Masculinity it seems, but I've also heard that good things can come from completely letting it go

Thoughts?

i think that women have a higher ego than men in general , so I would not say thst Having an ego makes you masculine

now , having an ego can be a good or a bad thing . Depends on how you use it

having an ego to not back down when you learn new things , or till you master something , it is a good ego

having an ego and thinking that everyone should kiss your balls without really having a powerful reason , that is a bad ego

 

[Romanemp22]

Your ego is who you are, you can't get rid of it and you shouldn't.

 

[Bigpapa]

Your ego is who you are, you can't get rid of it and you shouldn't.

you should try to train your ego on the good stuff , as this will help you down the line , otherwise it can also make a lot of problems

 

[Black Widow Void]

I didn't feel "ego" necessarily had to dealing others viewpoints and upholding an artificially increased "rep". But if ego and "self image " are two separate entities then I stand corrected. I felt ego and "self image " at least had some overlap.

Just to give a personal example; if I get repped for a particular posting, it's nice to see that it was appreciated.
However, I also know in advance that some of my postings (when I weigh heavy on negative behaviors demonstrated by some old-timers here) well... I know in advance that these are going to get zero repp'ed. Because I'm not dependent on the approval of others here, I say what I think. Some people like it and some people don't.

A person of ego might think.... oh I want to keep my postings to rep numbers looking good and so I'll only post 'popular' things.
For instance; you'll see several members that are unoriginal, and mainly re-hash things that they read in pick up books (attempting to pass this off as their own advice) . They are probably after rep points because it feeds their ego.

 

[Romanemp22]

you should try to train your ego on the good stuff , as this will help you down the line , otherwise it can also make a lot of problems

Ofcourse you need to draw the line in everything but ego is just peoples nature, something withing everyone. The difference is someone is egoistic to the core yet someone not so much

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It's more a question of which one fits your personality and which one you can use properly to good effect.

1. A big ego guy (done right) can use his grand self image to propel him to success, i.e. be fiercely competitive to try his best to live up to that image.

2. A small ego guy (done right) will be super humble, potentially downplay his ability and thus overprepare which can also lead to success.

I personally lean more towards #2.

I have always believed that if you are truly worth the praise it will come from others of their own free will and not from yourself.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I have always believed that if you are truly worth the praise it will come from others of their own free will and not from yourself.

"They" don't have to praise you. So you better be aware of your own worth.