"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Dumbest pickup lines ever!

HandyAndy

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Post em here!

You must be the reason for global warming because you’re hot.
Can I read your T shirt in brail?
I think I need to call heaven because they’ve lost one of their angels.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Leporello

Master Don Juan
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You must be tired.
Why?
Because it looks like you have anemia.

Was your father a thief? Because someone resembling you just stole my wallet.

Did it hurt?
Did what hurt?
When you got that ugly scar.
 

cobrajoe

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Leporello said:
You must be tired.
Why?
Because it looks like you have anemia.

Was your father a thief? Because someone resembling you just stole my wallet.

Did it hurt?
Did what hurt?
When you got that ugly scar.
Those are great!

Strange thing, they might work. I mean, I'd try them anyways :D
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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habdragon08

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i might not be fred flinstone, but i can make your bedrock!

you know what looks good on you? me
 

Nexus Polaris

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I couldn't help but notice you weren't looking at me, and I just wanted to ask you what your problem was.

I'll make sweet love to you all night long unless you buy me a drink.

What's a tramp like you doing in a classy place like this?

You must have a mirror in your pants. Because your ass looks a lot like my face.
 

rsaini

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the only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name...
whats a girl like you doing with a face like that?
THAT SHIRT! <wait for response> looks absolutely great with your style!:up:
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Mental

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HandyAndy said:
Post em here!

You must be the reason for global warming because you’re hot.
Can I read your T shirt in brail?
I think I need to call heaven because they’ve lost one of their angels.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.
You know, if I could take the letters in the alphabet and rearrange them, I would put U and I together.

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I could make your bed rock!

I must be a pokemon trainer, baby, cause I need another Pikachu!

If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
 

young_gun

Master Don Juan
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Is your daddy a rocket scientist? Because baby you're da BOMB!!!

If we were both squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
 

greenlake

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Hahahah you guys crack me UP!!! This is like the best thread i have seen in a while. And you know what? i'm gonna try it too. but let me show you the one i found.

"Pardon me, I seem to have lost my phone nmuber, can i borrow yours?"

"You must be a broom because you're sweeping me off my feet."

"Do you have a license? because you're driving me crazy"

"I gotta thirst and baby, you look like my Gatorade."

"Are you lost? Because heaven's a long way from here."

"Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers."

"Can I take a picture? I want Santa to know exactly what i want for Christmas."

"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?"

"Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?"

and last of all,

"How much does a polar weight? Enough to break the ice."

Good day to you all.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Bonhomme

Master Don Juan
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"I heard there are 365 bones in a person's body. Would you like one more?"

"Here. Sit on my lap and we'll talk about whatever pops up."
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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superchill89 said:
you look familiar, have i seen you before? oh yeah i saw your picture in the dictionary right next to KABLAM!
Will Smith!! :D
 

The Inside Man

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Dongfu's thread about flipping through a Mystery seduction book and asking questions about it.
 

JulioJose

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greenlake said:
Hahahah you guys crack me UP!!! This is like the best thread i have seen in a while. And you know what? i'm gonna try it too. but let me show you the one i found.

"Pardon me, I seem to have lost my phone nmuber, can i borrow yours?"

"You must be a broom because you're sweeping me off my feet."

"Do you have a license? because you're driving me crazy"

"I gotta thirst and baby, you look like my Gatorade."

"Are you lost? Because heaven's a long way from here."

"Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers."

"Can I take a picture? I want Santa to know exactly what i want for Christmas."

"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?"

"Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?"

and last of all,

"How much does a polar weight? Enough to break the ice."

Good day to you all.

i saw the video on some of that lines. funny how she didnt got any number. good times! :up:
 

War Against Betaism

Master Don Juan
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"You dropped something....My jaw."

"I want all the triads and ugly women on this side, and I want all the fine women on this side." I love this line, every time I see Rush Hour 2 I always laugh.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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