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Drinks this weekend. Tips for a fella?

MoreThanSmooth

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Well it was an...unusual night. Kind of insane actually, like the king of mixed signals.

Bit of a long story but whatever, I need to explain all this stuff to make any sense of it.

First of all she opened by talking about her ex. Fine, we both knew the guy, so whatever. Then she started talking about herself...for like 40 minutes (!). I couldn't get a word in edgeways, it was kind of crazy. She starts telling me how modern dating sucks but she's banged a couple of people recently (okay, why is she telling me this?)

Tried to take some control of the conversation a bunch of times but got nowhere at this point, she was still talking 90% of it. Then she kept apologising for talking too much! Eventually she asked about me and I got a few minutes to talk about my own life. Then it was back to her stories again...riight.

Then we moved to another bar. We sat at a much closer table this time, and since I'd been holding a lot of eye contact, I moved to attempting kino. Limited success. She didn't withdraw away when I touched her hands and arms, she didn't react at all, but she did move her legs when we touched. Then I tried again and she didn't move her legs this time, but also didn't actively reciprocate.

Anyway she shows me some stuff on her phone pretty close to me and our arms were left touching a while, but really I didn't get anywhere further with the physical touch. Here's the thing - on her phone, she's showing me all these loser guys who are trying to slide into her DMs, and she's laughing about them with me. Clearly she doesn't consider me one of these jokers, but I thought this was weird. Some kind of social proofing? Trying to show her value to me? Or sees me as a gay best friend?

Then she says "Men are just garbage I guess."
Obviously I'm not going to listen to that. I responded in a friendly but straightforward manner and said "Yeah, that's bulls**t. Not all of us. You need a better type of man."

That's a pretty heavy f*cking hint from me there, right? Then she responds with:
"I know, but these are the only options I have right now."

WTF? The little voice in my mind was like "You have an educated, single hot guy sat across from you and you're saying you have no options but these fuccbois? WUT."

Seriously f***ing weird response from her. Frankly, I'm also hotter than her ex...I dunno, she's showing me these garbage tier Gamma males and yet she doesn't see me as an alternative? Freaking crazy.

Anyway I wrap the date up, she was keen to keep hanging out even longer but I ended it. Got the usual hug, no kiss, she texted me telling me she had a great time. Despite all this insanity I decided to test the water with a "We should do something again" and she said she likes the sound of that, but honestly I have no idea WTF the night was all about tbh.

Another note: she was playing with her hair for the whole damn time. Like constantly running her hands through it. I normally take that as a flirtation signal but the kino went absolutely nowhere.

She also drew my attention to her boobs a bunch of times and even her thighs (she was telling me she works out and stroked her inner thigh a bunch of times, like pointing her legs out). At one point she discussed bras and literally started pushing and holding her boobs up and down, talking about her hips and dimensions and everything. Again, this should be flirty asf right? But she shut my kino right the f**k down, so I have no idea.

Perplexing. I guess the fact it was even confusing means it's basically game over here.
 

backseatjuan

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First of all she opened by talking about her ex.
Bra, now gonna read the rest. First reaction to this, rebound. Let’s read more.

Then she started talking about herself...for like 40
Now this one looks like lost btch with issues. Last time I took number one of this btches, ready to go home and hit her up, but then after she told me str8 up she don’t see anything between us, I deleted her number infront of her told her nah this sht is not for me and left. Let’s read further for more.

Clearly she doesn't consider me one of these jokers
Nah. She could be ng at you actually.


Bro, honestly I thinks she a wh0re and wants a dck. Be bald, invite her to your place bro after some time off. 2 weeks btch.
 

Visionist

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I feel you (pun unintended) on the weird kino. I've been burned by many an attention whôre who threw out signals and then withdraw it all. We aren't supposed to give a $hit what she says, does or thinks, and go for her mouth anyways, but it's easier said than done.

Ignore her for at least two weeks as the poster above says, and invite her over to yours. Tell her to bring pizza. It'll all be abundantly clear then.
 

MoreThanSmooth

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Tried to take some control of the conversation a bunch of times but got nowhere at this point, she was still talking 90% of it. Then she kept apologising for talking too much! Eventually she asked about me and I got a few minutes to talk about my own life. Then it was back to her stories again...riight. Sounds narcissistic
Yeah man, this is exactly what I was thinking when she was talking after like the first 15 minutes. I was doing the smiling and nodding but I was also just thinking "WTF, this chick is so into herself."

To be fair I liked that she talked so much to some degree, there was no pressure on me to come up with topics. But when she started showing me pics of herself and asking how she looked that rang the narcissism bell again.

She was giving me this crap of "I know I'm not the hottest girl, but-" *shows hot pic*
I just flat called BS and said she was talking rubbish, lol.

And after that I didn't tell her she looked hot, I just nodded and made neutral comments. Not sure if that was the right option, but I didn't want to feed that ego. All these f*cking sad sacks blowing up her inbox with d-pics are constantly telling her she's beautiful and I don't want to fit into that camp of ass-kissers.

Bro, honestly I thinks she a wh0re and wants a dck. Be bald, invite her to your place bro after some time off. 2 weeks btch.
She definitely gets around but it was kind of annoying because she's telling me about this "great sex" she's had recently but it's like I'm literally invisible. Because she spends 20 minutes whining about other men, when she's specifically got a drink alone with me.

So f*cking weird. It's like if I got a date with a cute model and then spent the whole time telling her I just can't find a decent attractive woman.

I think 2 weeks sounds sensible, I don't even know what the next move should be after such a weird "date". Part of me feels like I should just say "You're hot, we should f*ck" and maybe that's what she's looking to respond to. Because if she doesn't like me, I don't get why we hang out.

I feel you (pun unintended) on the weird kino. I've been burned by many an attention whôre who threw out signals and then withdraw it all. We aren't supposed to give a $hit what she says, does or thinks, and go for her mouth anyways, but it's easier said than done.

Ignore her for at least two weeks as the poster above says, and invite her over to yours. Tell her to bring pizza. It'll all be abundantly clear then.
I think this is just the thing, it must be attention seeking behaviour. I'm getting tired of dates with girls that just want me to lavish them with my time for nothing, it's boring.
 

Visionist

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Did you shoot her down a bit when she acted all high and mighty?

I've been watching AMS (very addictive) and he instructs to avoid giving any validation at all, any compliments, even if she's fishing for them ("Do you like this dress on me?" you respond "it's made of great material" and never compliment her directly) and even if she's cooking for you, don't show gratitude (difficult I know) but always say "you definitely went to a lot of effort tonight" for instance.

It isn't easy and it feels unnatural but this girl sounds like she needs bringing down to earth.
 

guru1000

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Your only overt response to any of her stories in your last date should have been one of insult.

Your lack of showing insult demonstrated in clear light you’re not a sovereign individual worth enough salt to BE insulted. In other words, you were happy enough just to be there and she could do or say anything you wanted and you would stay irregardless to maintain within her good graces.

This seems to be the common theme in ALL your female interactions.

You could have just as easily just stood up and left her there. But you didn’t. You didn’t do anything except let her continue to devalue you. Your inaction merely reinforced her hunch: that you are THAT individual, the One whom you wish you were not.

The only question you should consider has nothing to do with her but rather with you: why did you not show insult to her devaluing you? You felt insult right? Why did you not show it? This is inauthentic, shows low inner value and a lack of self-love—which projects in your vibe ... hence why each of your stories end in the same manner.
 
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MoreThanSmooth

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Okay update to this one. Talked to her briefly yesterday and she told me this risque story that was kind of funny, I followed up by telling her one of mine where I ended up in very close proximity to this girl in an overcrowded bar where we were sort of pushed up against each other and we were both kind of equally embarrassed and turned on by it.

To my surprise, she said "I really like that actually" and started telling me how she's really into guys flirting by pushing their body into her if they're getting on well.

This is a hint right? I can't see why she's telling me she likes physical contact if she doesn't want me to show her some. I might ask her on a second night out.
 
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