You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
---DonJuanForever said:Dinner dates? No, no, no. Hang out spots, parties, clubs, these are places you go at the beginning. Nothing serious! After months or a year or two, then we get all serious and romantic, why..........because NOW WE HAVE SOMETHING TO GET SERIOUS ABOUT. We have a history, you can't be romantic unless you can be intimate, you can't be intimate unless you know each other. Make sense? Don't forget this now.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Hey DJs and DJs of the future. It's been about a year and a half since i've posted on these boards but I decided to lurk again and found this has been a thread packed full of great information. I've taken the liberty of summarizing some of its finer points and adding my own experience. The results are as follows:
Atmosphere: What feels good to a woman...
Women like scented candles because it "feels" good, because it "feels" nice. Let's not forget that many woman are VERY insecure and extremely sensitive. They always have to be perfect, and always want to please the other sex. This both cultural and part of their nature.
Compliments: By complementing her, she feels good wich makes her "feelings" toward you stronger, and better. By not overdoing it, you won't scare her off with too much praise by making her value of you diminish in respect to her own.
Why are compliments important?
Simply because she spends soooo many effort and time plus money into it. Her whole f#ckin live revolves around it almost. That's why they need us. Do we need women to secure ourself? We shouldn't.
How NOT to scare her off:
Don't: Complement her too strong too soon (Example I love you, your eyes are shimmering blue sapphires encompassed by the glowing radiance of your intrepid beauty)
Don't Complement her too much (I love your hair, I love your shirt, I love your shoes, bla bla bla)
Don't tell her too much about yourself too soon. She'll have you figured out and be bored.
Don't tell her things about that would discomfort her or make her see you in a negative light. (I have a bloody hangnail right now... My nose bleeds all the time... I foam at the mouth when I think of you naked, etc)
By being a challenge: What do you do with a book wich bores you? You put it aside right? Same thing. REMEMBER EMOTIONS? (Ex. "I should be free'd up this Friday. Lets (fill in the date idea) then.
Mystery is the key.
Don't ask? Don't tell, as simple as that. This will force her to find out more about you wich will intrigue her.
"I had a crazy week..."
"Why? What happened"
"Well.. its hard for even me to believe...Get this.. I was... (story follows)"
By comforting her: You have to show her she's wanted. If she doesn't "feel" she's wanted, she will go sumwhere else to find it.
The secret to mastering her emotions is too actually force the target to ALWAYS think of you. The more, the better!
Midway-Summary: complement her, don't scare her, play mysterious and comfort/re-assure her.
Women like having pieces of the puzzle so they can put together this fantasy picture of how they picture you.
Indicating Interest Level:
Indicate your interest to her based on unique parts of her personality. VERY important. ("Why does he like me so much?") If she doesn't know she'll assume its because of her looks and then you're just the next guy.
If its a non-expected hit-on venue, like school or the workplace, talk like she's an old friend. They KNOW they will get hit on going to bars and clubs. Those are pickup venues.
Kino (Physical interaction)
Start with high-fives. Arm wrestle her. Let her win. Say OMG how could a girl beat me? Then feel her biceps and tell her to flex. Tell her she's pretty buff for a girl haha. If you know you're in the friend zone then sarge other girls.
First Date Ideas: shopping at the mall, dinner, a movie, ice cream, comedy club, walking around in a scenic place, miniature golf.
Second Date Ideas: Same as the above, followed by coming over to your place for a movie, going to the beach (near sunset or during the day for fun).
Talking Points:
1. Connect with her through talking. Women thrive on conversation. Ask questions about her goals, what inspires her, her favorite moments, etc.
2. You CONNECT on an a deep emotional level through conversation. Get her life story. Tell her yours. Tell her the best parts. Tell her your dreams and learn hers. Giving her great parts of your life (grounding) and getting hers will hurl you into a world of deep rapport.
3. A great way to get her into a sexual state is talk about sex and stuff like that. That's a way out of the friend zone.
4. You can playfully give the girl points for things she says or does. You can reward her with "points" you make up for various things.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.