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Don’t be so afraid of the friend zone..

Robert28

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I guess it would be easier to handle the friendzone if you got that after one date. To me that’s not what the friendzone is. What’s happened to me is they wait until you’ve somewhat invested in them after 5-7 dates, the girl has been INTENSE getting to know you over the course of say a month or so. You think things are going well and then BAM, you get “I just want to be friends”. So you try to pull back and accept it but here she comes guns blazing, basically saying with her actions “hold on there Mr. New Friendzone victim, I ain’t done with you yet! I’m gonna use your emotions against you while you still like me. Meanwhile, I’ve gotten over your ass in 2 days. I’m gonna text you like when I liked you, I’m gonna recommend we hangout. Give you time to take a step back and get over ME? The hell you say!”. And the poor bastard is led into the friendzone for God knows how long. That, my friends, is the friendzone. Not this go on one date and you text them once a week after you get the ljbf speech. No, that’s just regular friends.
 

Lynx nkaf

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I guess it would be easier to handle the friendzone if you got that after one date. To me that’s not what the friendzone is. What’s happened to me is they wait until you’ve somewhat invested in them after 5-7 dates, the girl has been INTENSE getting to know you over the course of say a month or so. You think things are going well and then BAM, you get “I just want to be friends”. So you try to pull back and accept it but here she comes guns blazing, basically saying with her actions “hold on there Mr. New Friendzone victim, I ain’t done with you yet! I’m gonna use your emotions against you while you still like me. Meanwhile, I’ve gotten over your ass in 2 days. I’m gonna text you like when I liked you, I’m gonna recommend we hangout. Give you time to take a step back and get over ME? The hell you say!”. And the poor bastard is led into the friendzone for God knows how long. That, my friends, is the friendzone. Not this go on one date and you text them once a week after you get the ljbf speech. No, that’s just regular friends.
what's your escalation game look like timing-wise?
 

Robert28

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what's your escalation game look like timing-wise?
Escalation was probably the reason but one of them we slept together the second date and every date after that. What I’ve noticed is both girls had just come out of year long relationships and I was a short term rebound. But they got to know me so they wanted to keep me around.
 

Lynx nkaf

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Escalation was probably the reason but one of them we slept together the second date and every date after that. What I’ve noticed is both girls had just come out of year long relationships and I was a short term rebound. But they got to know me so they wanted to keep me around.
you sound successful man.
What do you think of the idea that relationships have an expiry date?

Could it just have been a coincidence that both these relationships 'expired' kind of early on?

Are you an easy guy to say no to?
I ask because sometimes the girl will try to let a guy down gently because she's afraid he knows too much personal stuff about her life now to just go cold turkey. Really she's hoping you'll move on immediately and forgive her for the early expiry date of the relationship.
Maybe investigate the platespinning idea on purpose to see if there's a chance your abundance can extend expiry dates.
I had the impression before and still do that you're a good guy who actually wants serious ltr's.
Seems counter-intuitive to spin plates but that's just to push back the expiry date of the next relationship.
Something's gotta change.
 

Robert28

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you sound successful man.
What do you think of the idea that relationships have an expiry date?

Could it just have been a coincidence that both these relationships 'expired' kind of early on?

Are you an easy guy to say no to?
I ask because sometimes the girl will try to let a guy down gently because she's afraid he knows too much personal stuff about her life now to just go cold turkey. Really she's hoping you'll move on immediately and forgive her for the early expiry date of the relationship.
Maybe investigate the platespinning idea on purpose to see if there's a chance your abundance can extend expiry dates.
I had the impression before and still do that you're a good guy who actually wants serious ltr's.
Seems counter-intuitive to spin plates but that's just to push back the expiry date of the next relationship.
Something's gotta change.
Well both “relationships” followed the same pattern. Both girls came on STRONG and FAST. That’s why I said both of them were INTENSE in getting to know me. You basically couldn’t slow it down, I did the 80/20 rule with texting, I even tried to turn down dates in the beginning because I knew seeing them too much would kill the mystery about me. But they HAD to see me and I ran out of reasons not to see them. I like to see a girl once a week in the beginning, then gradually work up to twice a week and so on. Not these girls. They had to see you every 3 days AND they had to text you ALL the time. I’d ignore best I could but it wasn’t working. Basically any boundaries I tried to set during the beginning were being run through. The spark was there but it was so much so soon that I knew it wasn’t sustainable on their part. That’s why neither of them lasted past a month of dating before I got friendzoned. I was doing everything I could to not be too available but it still wasn’t enough. Every relationship I had that was long term didn’t start out like these. It was gradual and could grow. These went from 0-100 mph in two weeks. They even brought up the “we are dating” and I’m thinking “holy crap! After 2 weeks?”. That’s why I laugh when people say “let the girl bring up what you are”. Yeah, that can backfire.lol
 

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Lynx nkaf

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Well both “relationships” followed the same pattern. Both girls came on STRONG and FAST. That’s why I said both of them were INTENSE in getting to know me. You basically couldn’t slow it down, I did the 80/20 rule with texting, I even tried to turn down dates in the beginning because I knew seeing them too much would kill the mystery about me. But they HAD to see me and I ran out of reasons not to see them. I like to see a girl once a week in the beginning, then gradually work up to twice a week and so on. Not these girls. They had to see you every 3 days AND they had to text you ALL the time. I’d ignore best I could but it wasn’t working. Basically any boundaries I tried to set during the beginning were being run through. The spark was there but it was so much so soon that I knew it wasn’t sustainable on their part. That’s why neither of them lasted past a month of dating before I got friendzoned. I was doing everything I could to not be too available but it still wasn’t enough. Every relationship I had that was long term didn’t start out like these. It was gradual and could grow. These went from 0-100 mph in two weeks. They even brought up the “we are dating” and I’m thinking “holy crap! After 2 weeks?”. That’s why I laugh when people say “let the girl bring up what you are”. Yeah, that can backfire.lol
lol.
Weird how similar they were.
Maybe you're getting better in bed, not a bad problem to have to create this kind of scrambling to move fast relationship wise(them pressuring you).

Well.
They have to learn to comply with your boundaries.
How to train that into a woman?
Ever read Boundaries by Henry Cloud? I think he has some techniques in there to make anyone, any situation comply with your boundaries.
What does wikihow or youtube searches come up with making people comply with boundaries?
 

Robert28

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lol.
Weird how similar they were.
Maybe you're getting better in bed, not a bad problem to have to create this kind of scrambling to move fast relationship wise(them pressuring you).

Well.
They have to learn to comply with your boundaries.
How to train that into a woman?
Ever read Boundaries by Henry Cloud? I think he has some techniques in there to make anyone, any situation comply with your boundaries.
What does wikihow or youtube searches come up with making people comply with boundaries?
I’ve learned that any woman that comes on strong now will leave just as fast too. How they can invest so much mentally into someone in such a short time and just end it is beyond me. But that’s how I’ve been friendzoned and they actually wanted to keep me around, it wasn’t meant as a blowoff to never talk to me again or see me again. I had to eventually put a stop to it, they weren’t going to. With some women it’s impossible to set boundaries or train them to do anything. They’re broken beyond repair so I’ve learned to just enjoy the short wild ride.
 

Lynx nkaf

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hmm, even short wild rides are better than droughts.
Careful with the broken ones.
 

Igetit!

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Sometimes I think "friendzone" needs to be CLEARLY defined.
I guess it would be easier to handle the friendzone if you got that after one date. To me that’s not what the friendzone is. What’s happened to me is they wait until you’ve somewhat invested in them after 5-7 dates, the girl has been INTENSE getting to know you over the course of say a month or so. You think things are going well and then BAM, you get “I just want to be friends”. So you try to pull back and accept it but here she comes guns blazing, basically saying with her actions “hold on there Mr. New Friendzone victim, I ain’t done with you yet! I’m gonna use your emotions against you while you still like me. Meanwhile, I’ve gotten over your ass in 2 days. I’m gonna text you like when I liked you, I’m gonna recommend we hangout. Give you time to take a step back and get over ME? The hell you say!”. And the poor bastard is led into the friendzone for God knows how long. That, my friends, is the friendzone. Not this go on one date and you text them once a week after you get the ljbf speech. No, that’s just regular friends.

This type of friendzone is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from the type I used to encounter in my high school/early 20s........and I have a PHD in Friendzonology.

I was THE KING of the friendzone. King,president,governor,mayor,C.E.O......I was at the HEAD of the class.

NO ONE got friendzoned more than I did. It took me a few years to figure out what was going on,but I eventually cracked the code.

The type of friendzone I used to encounter........was where you talk to a girl you were interested in,but not ask her out out of fear of being rejected. So you just talked about whatever.......life,friends,music,family,news....whatever. Anything other than YOU and HER possibly going out.....and I'd do this for like weeks,in some cases months. We'd laugh,talk,joke,kid,play.....but I'd never show my interest. Then after doing that for weeks or months,when I'd finally muster up the courage to ask her out,I'd get.....

"I don't see you "that" way" or
"You're like a brother to me" or
"I don't like you "like that".


You know....the kind of friendzone where a chick sees you more as like one of her girlfriends,and not a MAN. To the point,she almost doesn't mind getting dressed/undressed in front of you cause she doesn't see you as a possible sexual threat.


With the type I describe,she really means it when she says she just wants to be friends,instead of just saying it hoping you will go away.

@Robert28: The chicks you spoke of may have gave you the friendzone speech after 5 to 7 dates,but at least you got to the dates.

With me,I had to listen to chicks talk about their dates with OTHER MEN,lol. How the date went,jealously listen to her as she squealed with delight,chemistry,and excitement over a guy,etc,etc. I would have killed to have your "type" of friendzone back then. :lol:


Oh well. Live and learn.
 

cola

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I guess it would be easier to handle the friendzone if you got that after one date. To me that’s not what the friendzone is. What’s happened to me is they wait until you’ve somewhat invested in them after 5-7 dates, the girl has been INTENSE getting to know you over the course of say a month or so. You think things are going well and then BAM, you get “I just want to be friends”. So you try to pull back and accept it but here she comes guns blazing, basically saying with her actions “hold on there Mr. New Friendzone victim, I ain’t done with you yet! I’m gonna use your emotions against you while you still like me. Meanwhile, I’ve gotten over your ass in 2 days. I’m gonna text you like when I liked you, I’m gonna recommend we hangout. Give you time to take a step back and get over ME? The hell you say!”. And the poor bastard is led into the friendzone for God knows how long. That, my friends, is the friendzone. Not this go on one date and you text them once a week after you get the ljbf speech. No, that’s just regular friends.
The type of friend zone you just described should never happen to anyone familiar with the red pill.
 

Scars

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I rarely keep females around unless I have an interest in fvcking them or they add value to my life some how. An example would be a female friend who introduces me to her other female friends, and in exchange I introduce her to buddies of mine. I do have female friends that are completely platonic now, but they were women I slept with in the past. These are some of the best female friendships I have actually.
 
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