"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Doing just fine until...

shock

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:nono: Me and the lady broke up about a month and a half ago. I have been doing awesome, with the exception of a few lonely days. And even then, it wasn't about missing her more just bein' lonely and not staying busy.

Well last night a couple of the boys were gonna meet up to shoot some pool and drink. We got there, and sure enough there was her car. For whatever reason I decided to go in anyway. As soon as I walked in, she was right there, so I couldn't ignore her. She was with her mom and dad, and some of her friends. it was her dad's b-day. I met everyone, said happy b-day to the old man and bought him a drink, said hi to her, and got back to my buds.

4 beers later, i decided to go over to them again, and ask the ex if we could talk for a bit. (we haven't had a civil convo since the split) She agreed and came and sat with me at the bar. At first I kept it casual... how's work, family, etc. Probably should have just stopped there, but for some reason the "are you dating anyone" question slipped out.

"Actually I went on a date last night with this guy Justin, it was awesome. he treated me really well." -My heart sank. I tried to play it off, but I was obviously affected. At this point I ended the convo, and said have a good night and went back to my friends. I soon left, went home, and went to bed.

I have been trying to get this out of my head. I had made so much progress over the last month, and now this. I need to pick myself up here...I need a picker-upper. I didn't need to here that. I should have just avoided her in the first place.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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shock said:
...4 beers later, i decided to go over to them again, and ask the ex if we could talk for a bit. (we haven't had a civil convo since the split) She agreed and came and sat with me at the bar. At first I kept it casual... how's work, family, etc. Probably should have just stopped there, but for some reason the "are you dating anyone" question slipped out...
Masochist.
 

Ol'BlueEyes

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I was in a simlar situation not long ago. I don't get why some guys are afraid of 'running into' their ex's shortly after breaking up. You're both adults, right?

I met everyone, said happy b-day to the old man and bought him a drink, said hi to her, and got back to my buds.
Did you REALLY want to, though? Unless he was a super-cool guy who I see as a friend, I wouldn't have bought him a drink simply because he was my ex's dad. You're not obligated to be nice to this chick, or her parents anymore.
 

Play the Game

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Ohh man, why would you do that?!?! WHY WHY WHY... :eek:

Even if she hadn't seen anyone she'd say that just to fvck with you.
Just look at the satisfaction wyldfire gets from knowing her ex-husband hasn't gotten over her. Why would you want to give her that?

You should have stuck to your friends... or even better bump into some girl. Fvck the EX and her family. She's history.
 
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