"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Doing just fine until...

shock

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:nono: Me and the lady broke up about a month and a half ago. I have been doing awesome, with the exception of a few lonely days. And even then, it wasn't about missing her more just bein' lonely and not staying busy.

Well last night a couple of the boys were gonna meet up to shoot some pool and drink. We got there, and sure enough there was her car. For whatever reason I decided to go in anyway. As soon as I walked in, she was right there, so I couldn't ignore her. She was with her mom and dad, and some of her friends. it was her dad's b-day. I met everyone, said happy b-day to the old man and bought him a drink, said hi to her, and got back to my buds.

4 beers later, i decided to go over to them again, and ask the ex if we could talk for a bit. (we haven't had a civil convo since the split) She agreed and came and sat with me at the bar. At first I kept it casual... how's work, family, etc. Probably should have just stopped there, but for some reason the "are you dating anyone" question slipped out.

"Actually I went on a date last night with this guy Justin, it was awesome. he treated me really well." -My heart sank. I tried to play it off, but I was obviously affected. At this point I ended the convo, and said have a good night and went back to my friends. I soon left, went home, and went to bed.

I have been trying to get this out of my head. I had made so much progress over the last month, and now this. I need to pick myself up here...I need a picker-upper. I didn't need to here that. I should have just avoided her in the first place.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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shock said:
...4 beers later, i decided to go over to them again, and ask the ex if we could talk for a bit. (we haven't had a civil convo since the split) She agreed and came and sat with me at the bar. At first I kept it casual... how's work, family, etc. Probably should have just stopped there, but for some reason the "are you dating anyone" question slipped out...
Masochist.
 

Ol'BlueEyes

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I was in a simlar situation not long ago. I don't get why some guys are afraid of 'running into' their ex's shortly after breaking up. You're both adults, right?

I met everyone, said happy b-day to the old man and bought him a drink, said hi to her, and got back to my buds.
Did you REALLY want to, though? Unless he was a super-cool guy who I see as a friend, I wouldn't have bought him a drink simply because he was my ex's dad. You're not obligated to be nice to this chick, or her parents anymore.
 

Play the Game

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Ohh man, why would you do that?!?! WHY WHY WHY... :eek:

Even if she hadn't seen anyone she'd say that just to fvck with you.
Just look at the satisfaction wyldfire gets from knowing her ex-husband hasn't gotten over her. Why would you want to give her that?

You should have stuck to your friends... or even better bump into some girl. Fvck the EX and her family. She's history.
 
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