"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Does this make me look desperate?

kicknit

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Went to a big house party at a friends house a couple weeks ago and hit it off with a couple that lives a few hours away from me. The gal in the couple was pretty drunk but kept saying me and a female friend of mine who was also at the party should come visit them. Said we could go out to the bars or whatever and that she had a girlfriend from work that she wanted to introduce me to. Like I said, she was pretty drunk and was flirting with me way more than I would have been comfortable with if I was her bf. Her friend was pretty smokin, but doesn't it seem kinda desperate to follow up with her and be like "hey, about me coming to visit..." what would you guys do in this situation? I may likely never see these two people again, otherwise.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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SmooveMooves

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If she's in.your social circle wait for her to bring it back up, if not, forget about it and focus on other plates.

You answered your own question

"hey, about me coming to visit...." = " Hey, remember when you offered me to hang out with you and a buddy while we were both drunk? I'd really like that opportunity because I have dont have any other options"

It would come off as desperate bro.
 

MrNiceGuy23

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I disagree with SmooveMooves, if she extended the invitation as well as a number to contact her, then there is no desperation in saying "Hey wanna hang out sometime?" If she remembers the drunk encounter she'll either tell you a good date for it or she'll say she was too drunk and can't see you.

You don't have to word it like a weirdo: "Hey so remember when you were drunk af and brought up hanging out in the future? I wanna try that!" Just be relaxed, hit her up and see what happens. Worst case scenario is you strike out and never see her again anyways.
 

kicknit

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MrNiceGuy23 said:
I disagree with SmooveMooves, if she extended the invitation as well as a number to contact her, then there is no desperation in saying "Hey wanna hang out sometime?" If she remembers the drunk encounter she'll either tell you a good date for it or she'll say she was too drunk and can't see you.

You don't have to word it like a weirdo: "Hey so remember when you were drunk af and brought up hanging out in the future? I wanna try that!" Just be relaxed, hit her up and see what happens. Worst case scenario is you strike out and never see her again anyways.
I would be less interested in getting with the girl that invited me because she has a bf, but to meet this work friend of hers that she said is single. I may have made that confusing by saying she was really flirting with me.

Your point still stands about not making it creepy if I did try though.
 

MOTU

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I don't think it would be creepy either. Send her something funny from the night and see where the convo goes.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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