"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Does the dynamic change?
- Thread starter Stephen89
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
At 34 you haven't even gotten into your stride!
Thanks,
I wanted to say in General as I did the other week talk to two women in their early 20s, I was self assured and spoke very nice and I think my communication skills were the key.
I was asking in general.
If I get rid of the insecurity?
Doctor Europeo
Moderator
Im not sure what you consider youth life but you can always have women at any age.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I meant many men in their 20s have, go out with women, clubs, theme parks etc
Can the same dynamic apply to a male nearing mid 30s?
BoomToTheMoonAlice
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 22, 2023
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I was going out to clubs 3 nights a week until I was 35. If you can dance, the dance-floor is a free gymnasium. I'd still be doing it today but when you get older sleep starts to become preferable to hanging out with a bunch of wannabes.
BoomToTheMoonAlice
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 22, 2023
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- 425
- Reaction score
- 242
You win, I can't show you my exact videos because I teach children and I can't have a pickup website associated to my name but my style is a combination of these:Show me your moves, this is me doing some praccy. I challenge you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bOrs7mfiGU
If you're ever in the neighborhood we'll hang out.
BoomToTheMoonAlice
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 22, 2023
- Messages
- 425
- Reaction score
- 242
It's the same for latin music for me. I embarrassed the hell out of myself in a forhor club in Brazil, guys stole my date and everything. I looked like Steve Martin in The Jerk.
Plinco
Master Don Juan
This is a mindset issue. If you think you're not good enough, you won't be.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
The Duke
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2008
- Messages
- 6,550
- Reaction score
- 11,526
Why are you hesitant? Fear of rejection?
What should the mindset be?
The other week I got talking to two younger women in the early 20s, I was confident, came across that and spoke very well
I'm sure Chris Evans is dating someone 15 years his younger when he's in his early 40s
Plinco
Master Don Juan
Love thy self. The correct mindset is controlling yourself, but also being selfish.
logicallefty
Moderator
taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
Asking a bunch of incels for permission to pursue women is generally not an attractive trait.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.