My Name is Nobody
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2007
- Messages
- 2,153
- Reaction score
- 13
LovelyLady said:I did, I just added to my post/edited while you were writing me. Again, my apologies.
You don't need to apologize I appreciate your input.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
LovelyLady said:I did, I just added to my post/edited while you were writing me. Again, my apologies.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
I love this logic.LovelyLady said:To most women - a man who is still having sex with an ex is not truly available. If you asked her on A DATE - much less a second one - it seems logical she assumed you didn't have a girl friend. But hey, call me crazy![]()
Women don't know what they want, duh.My Name is Nobody said:No, I used ****y and funny when we started dating and it turned her off.
She doesn't need a ****y jerk right now, she needs an AFC. She just got divorced from a ****y jerk.
Something like that will set her off again, and she'll cuss me out.
iqqi said:Women don't know what they want, duh.
You can be witty and ****y, and STILL be the good guy.
Make her LAUGH.
If you can make ME laugh, you can make her laugh.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
This thread is a living soap opera but unlike a lot of epic threads of woe in the forum, this one does offer a ton of learning experience to offer. Even though it's still remarkably odd that MNIN is still drawn to this woman given their past history, I think he's grown a bit from it.LovelyLady said:You are correct Francisco - this is my errorand will I be even more amused?....
maybe you should be in person when it happens, then you can have rough "let it all out" sex.My Name is Nobody said:Again, we aren't dealing with a normal woman. She is a ticking bomb and she could go off at any moment.
Remember I texted her a few days ago? She responded
"You knucklehead leave me alone lose my # and have a nice life!!"
Then, I texted her yesterday, and she was actually civil, and nice? And we had somewhat of a normal conversation.
This girl is itching to pull the trigger and cuss me out. And to be honest, I don't want that at all it actually hurts my feelings.
iqqi said:maybe you should be in person when it happens, then you can have rough "let it all out" sex.
Just a suggestion.
I thought I took that poking stick away from you.My Name is Nobody said:Again, we aren't dealing with a normal woman. She is a ticking bomb and she could go off at any moment.
Remember I texted her a few days ago? She responded
"You knucklehead leave me alone lose my # and have a nice life!!"
Then, I texted her yesterday, ....
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
LovelyLady said:MNIN - are you saying that, in truth, sexual relations with an ex is the same emotional experience for you as "meaningless" sex with a FWB person or a one night stand?
Well, you'd have to be smooth, of course.My Name is Nobody said:And how do you suggest I do that? I was trying with the "can we be friends" question, and she shot me down.
I don't think an invite to dinner will work at this point.
Francisco d'Anconia said:I thought I took that poking stick away from you.
Too bad the OP isn't the recipient of it.this one does offer a ton of learning experience to offer
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
iqqi said:Well, you'd have to be smooth, of course.
I don't know. I'm approaching the situation from a devil may care standpoint.
If you are all extra SERIOUS, then this might not work.
Get into a text fight with her. After a few back and forths, tell her she hurt you and you never want to see her face again. After she replies, say you are coming over RIGHT NOW.
Go over there, and when she opens the door, act hurt and angry, and tell her that you are the best thing that never happened to her.
Then grab her and kiss her.
She will either really kill you this time, or there will be some crazy hot rough sex.
Depends on your risk taking level.
Lol, how do you NOT!? :crazy:My Name is Nobody said:How do I start a text fight with her?
iqqi said:Lol, how do you NOT!? :crazy:
You could do that.My Name is Nobody said:Well I was planning on NOT texting her at all so you are going against my grain of thought.
iqqi said:You could do that.
Or you could wait for a rainy, dark night....
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.