"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Does "No Contact" really work?

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
My Name is Nobody said:
I didn't even buy her dinner.
Well I am glad that you understand that it's not necessary to pay for a woman's attention.
 
Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Messages
2,153
Reaction score
13
I keep remembering what she was saying last night "I can't sleep with you I just met you".. like 5 times she said that. I just ignored it and kept escalating and she never resisted.
 

reset

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2007
Messages
2,200
Reaction score
59
You my friend need to stop thinking about it. We need the girls to be analyzing and wondering how they're coming off, not us. We just need to work on being confident and how to aquire those traits that would make it so obsessing over how we come off just doesn't happen to begin with.

That's as much for me as you!
 
Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Messages
2,153
Reaction score
13
That's the problem making a thread about a woman. I am addicted to this site and I keep coming back to read the responses but in the process I think about the girl and the whole cycle sets me back.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
My Name is Nobody said:
I keep remembering what she was saying last night "I can't sleep with you I just met you".. like 5 times she said that. I just ignored it and kept escalating and she never resisted.
Yeah, that's typical. That's why it's important to get in touch with them soon after with a message which will help them feel comfortable that you weren't with them for just sex. You'll need to realize that unless ONSs are your goal, keeping women interested after hitting a quick home run will consist of things that go against a lot of what guys still trying to pick up women will tell you.
 

reset

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2007
Messages
2,200
Reaction score
59
Well inbetween all that is the message to stop thinking about it. The other message is, when you stop thinkign about chicks so much, it makes it much easier to have chicks in your life.

It's kind of a paradox in that sense. It's great to get all these perspectives and it just drums in the final ultimate outcome we're all looking for, to just take it easy and let the good stuff come without fighting ourselves and getting in our own way.

Eventually it all sinks in and you say "oh I get it. It's actually not a big deal."
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
reset said:
You my friend need to stop thinking about it. We need the girls to be analyzing and wondering how they're coming off, not us. We just need to work on being confident and how to aquire those traits that would make it so obsessing over how we come off just doesn't happen to begin with.

That's as much for me as you!
Wow, authentic confidence; what a powerful thing.
 
Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Messages
2,153
Reaction score
13
Francisco d'Anconia said:
Yeah, that's typical. That's why it's important to get in touch with them soon after with a message which will help them feel comfortable that you weren't with them for just sex. You'll need to realize that unless ONSs are your goal, keeping women interested after hitting a quick home run will consist of things that go against a lot of what guys still trying to pick up women will tell you.
I think she knows that I wasn't just in it for sex by us talking last night. I mean she is pretty special as far as girls I know and I think I let her know that. Mistake maybe but who cares I got to see her freaky side.
 
Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Messages
2,153
Reaction score
13
Francisco d'Anconia said:
Wow, authentic confidence; what a powerful thing.
I'm not this bad all the time Francisco but posting on this site brings out the chump in me that I'm trying to get rid of. But I still love this place.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
My Name is Nobody said:
I think she knows that I wasn't just in it for sex by us talking last night. I mean she is pretty special as far as girls I know and I think I let her know that. Mistake maybe but who cares I got to see her freaky side.
How do you know that she knows? But if all you wanted was to score you've succeeded. On to the next one.
 
Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Messages
2,153
Reaction score
13
Francisco d'Anconia said:
How do you know that she knows? But if all you wanted was to score you've succeeded. On to the next one.

I have no idea. If she is interested she will contact me but I'm done contacting her for now. And i've made it pretty clear that I am interested in more from this girl but what do you want me to do call her and leave that info on her voicemail? Maybe I should ask her to marry me, it might work.
 

MacAvoy

Banned
Joined
May 10, 2003
Messages
2,940
Reaction score
35
Location
Northern Ontario
I just spent an hour or two reading through 18 pages after seeing his post in the main forum and I have to agree with Latinoman on page 2 or 3 where he says MNIN is the biggest AFC on the site.

I mean cmon, 15 pages pining over NYE girl, then he finally gets ONE date and gets laid and now

My Name is Nobody said:
I think she knows that I wasn't just in it for sex by us talking last night. I mean she is pretty special as far as girls I know and I think I let her know that. Mistake maybe but who cares I got to see her freaky side.
For weeks, he wouldn't take the advice he was given, rationalized his mistakes by pointing out her flaws instead of analyzing what he was doing.

MNIN,

I think you should go back and read all 18 pages, read all your excuses that you made. Now your trying to get over NYE women, by falling madly in love with a women that you've only had ONE date with. How AFC is that?

You need to learn to be happy by yourself before your ready to get involved in a serious committed relationship. If you took a poll, I don't think 10% of the men in the mature man forum, would think your ready for a relationship.

You focussed your life around the drama with NYE women, now your displacing that by trying to fall for this new women, why just because she gave you some pootang.

Seriously bro, do you not see what your doing?
 
Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Messages
2,153
Reaction score
13
I am still waiting for ONE example where you fukked a hot college girl and nutted in her face and did not contact her the next day.

Still waiting...
 

MacAvoy

Banned
Joined
May 10, 2003
Messages
2,940
Reaction score
35
Location
Northern Ontario
This thread is about me. Once again, instead of dealing with the issues presented to you, you put your blinders on in a futile attempt at avoidance. You spent every day since NYE thinking about a newly divorced women who is in no condition to even comtemplate entering a relationship, to getting laid, and now your putting all your focus on this new women.

Don't you see how AFC that is?

Honestly bro, do you not see that as AFC, yes or no?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Messages
2,153
Reaction score
13
So now it's AFC to text a woman the next day?

Give me a break man.

I already admitted I am a recovering AFC and I was AFC with the NYE girl. That is over and I have officially moved on and learned from it.

I still see no problem sending a text to a woman the next day and I have done nothing AFC with her and I want to keep it that way.

You will never make me feel contacting a woman the next day is AFC because it isn't true unless you try to call 20 times or even 2 times before she responds.
 

reset

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2007
Messages
2,200
Reaction score
59
Dude I think you're missing the bigger picture here. The guys here are talking about your general mindset when it comes to women and how you've gone from a truamatic experience with the NYE girl and already you're talking about a LTR with a girl you slept with once. Good for you for getting action, seriously. Hell if I was getting laid right now I'd probably be all emotional and everything... which proves to me that just going out and getting laid doesn't make you confident. You're getting action but you're still acting clingy and needy. All this stuff is just bringing out the things you need to work on in yourself. You have to toughen up and develop that strength in your gut. Just getting chicks apparently is not enough to pull that off.


You're focused on this little text message... which is just a symptom of something much larger, which is that you're out of control right now, lol. The women are dominating you and it has to be the other way around. And you can't do that until you are in control of your own mindset.

Stuff like getting thrown out of a house, revenge, worrying about text messages, and trying to prove to others that what they are saying isn't valid--this is what happens when we're not strong inside, the chicks completely rule our lives. It's not "fun" it's not "DJ" it's just drama, drama. It's high school stuff. This is the type of experience and feelings you DON'T want.



But dude, you have to accept the fact that you don't know it all. The guys here are being rough but they are trying to toughen you up and shake you out of your own drama. Make no mistake, all the drama you experience is because you do have drama inside you. Again I just came out of acting like a total AFC myself so I'm not judging you.

But I think you'll get your act together. But you can't do that if you're defensive. You have to be open to something new. It takes guts to admit maybe you're not in control.
 
Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Messages
2,153
Reaction score
13
I have to admit man this girl caught me completely off guard. What the hell am I supposed to do? I sign up on a dating site and get tons of #'s and dates. Then a girl I didn't even contact winks at me with no pic. I think she must be ugly but I get her # anyway and set up a date. Then I get her pic and she is hot as fukk and she lives 5 blocks from me in some no name town in the middle of nowhere.

She shows up on the date looking hot as hell and was easy as hell. Now I can't stop thinking about her.

She loves to party and have fun everything the NYE girl WASN'T.
No baggage and drama plus she's only 21.

Now I'm just venting, but this whole situation is fukking crazy.
 

MacAvoy

Banned
Joined
May 10, 2003
Messages
2,940
Reaction score
35
Location
Northern Ontario
Exactly MNIN, look how easy that was. Why do you want to lock yourself up with the first pvssy that gives you a sniff? If it was that easy, why wouldn't you want to experience more of that? Don't you like pvssy? Don't you want to bang lots of women? Why are you trying to tie yourself down already?

You should be out there dating multiple women, then if you keep doing things right, one of them will be compatible with you and want to tie you down and go into a LTR. But right now, you don't even know this women, you've only gone on 1 date with her.

For all you know she can be a slvt or a psycho, but yet here you are building her up in your mind putting her on a pedastool.

Do you see what your doing? Have you read the bible? I think you need to reread it.
 

reset

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2007
Messages
2,200
Reaction score
59
It's not crazy, it's just girls. It's bringing out the crazy in YOU.

So, work on being a little more self-reflective and ask yourself why you find yourself getting so attached. There's plenty of stuff here on why guys put too much emotional investment in other people.

Hint, it's not them it's you. So just chill out and try to enjoy what's happening and just say you're going to get a hold of yourself and it'll happen. This is EXACTLY what I'm doing right now.

Less posting. More reading. :whistle:
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Top