My Name is Nobody
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2007
- Messages
- 2,153
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Nevermind
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
reset said:At least you're honest with yourself. I was the same way. Thing is she did eventually try to make nice with me (like--a couple months later) but by that time I was already determined to move on. I thought about her ALL THE TIME, there was nothing else in my life but her even though I really tried to not think about her. But how could I not think about her when she went out of her way to pass MY DESK every day and make me feel like crap? I stayed away from her but she sought me out. Every day. EVERY DAY. She was relentless. And I just looked at my computer and listened to my iPod while the nightmare circus went on around me, and I turned up the volume to the degree that her artificial laughter would rise.
I just wanted it to stop. And when she started being nice it made me want to throw up because I knew it was all an act (it was). So somewhere deep down there was enough strength to refuse to be fooled by her niceness.
Not to get too heavy on you. I'm 99% sure this chick in my life was BPD so I don't know if less crazy chicks eventually give up. Making me miserable was her mission in life. It's a zillion times easier if you DON'T see them every day.
HOPEFULLY this will work itself out in a while for you.
But you can't respond to her little imaginary email you're thinking of if it ever happens.
THIS IS WHY people say don't get involved at work.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
All right MNIN, I quit posting on this thread because I was suspicious of you. Now I am pretty certain. I think you are a troll. If you aren't you have some major issues.My Name is Nobody said:I DO have a huge problem. If she called me up and was sorry for what she did I would be over there in a heartbeat. Not good! Not saying it's going to happen just sayin'...
Chill out. If she called and begged for it sure I would still go shag her. Like you wouldn't. I have no other plates right now but I'm working on it. Not a troll, this is my life.MikeYikes122 said:All right MNIN, I quit posting on this thread because I was suspicious of you. Now I am pretty certain. I think you are a troll. If you aren't you have some major issues.
There is no way you are still freaking out about this. Just forget her and mentally force yourself to stop thinking about her.
When you first logged on to this site, you initially came to learn how to talk to chics and how to act around them. But along the way, you have to learn self-control and will power as well. That self-control is required for situations like the one you are in. I have a feeling you know that, on a logical level, you must cut this chic out of your life. But on an emotional level you keep drawing yourself back to her, partly out of a want for closure and partly because of your neediness. You're at the point where you must make a stand mentally and force yourself to quit thinking about her. If that includes not posting about her on SoSuave, do that as well. This whole situation is nothing to allow your ego to be bruised over. Every guy on this message board and in real life has done some sh!t they aren't proud of with the opposite sex. The key is to not stew over it, but to grow as a man from the experience and never let it happen again.
When people who are out of shape get into exercising, it usually seems easy to them at first, because it's not all that hard to stick to a diet and workout regimen in the first couple of weeks because they are motivated and seeing immediate results. But usually after about three weeks, the results begin taper off and motivation in turn begins to dwindle. It becomes a grind then to force yourself to diet and go to the gym. Self-control and will power become key at that point.
You're at that kind of fork in the road right now when it comes to women. You can either mentally force yourself to go down the path you know you should be taking, or you can succumb and continue to stew over this BPD and undo any progress you've made. Success with women is a lot like getting into shape. There's way more to dealing with chics than learning how to talk and act, just as a lot more than just lifting weights goes into getting into good shape. You have to learn inner game, and part of that is learning self-control and will power. Hopefully, you'll take everyone's advice.
No, I wouldn't.My Name is Nobody said:Chill out. If she called and begged for it sure I would still go shag her. Like you wouldn't.
You called me a troll. That warrants my "chill out" response. I'm not freaking out. I'm ignoring her completely. If I was still contacting her then yes, you could insult me all day but I am not doing that and I won't.MikeYikes122 said:No, I wouldn't.
Anyway, I'm not the one who needs to "chill out". One might argue that you are the one who needs to chill out. Nothing was harsh or obnoxious about my response. You can read my previous posts. I don't ever come down hard on anyone.
You'll also probably see in my previous posts where I had freak outs like the one you're having right now. The smart thing is to force yourself to move on.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Eddie417 said:I've been out of here for a few weeks and come back to this? Man this is THE FUNNIEST THREAD I HAVE EVER SEEN IN HERE.
I would PAY to read this kind of stuff. Seriously.
MNIN - smart of you to leave this girl for some AFC guy. A DJ like yourself can't waste his time with the crazy ones. Props.:rockon:
She's real, she's cute, she ain't worth obsessing over. Sit back, feel good that you tapped it and move on. It's not the thread that's holding your back, thinking things like "If she called and begged for it sure I would still go shag her" is the thing that'll hold you back.My Name is Nobody said:Chill out. If she called and begged for it sure I would still go shag her. Like you wouldn't. I have no other plates right now but I'm working on it. Not a troll, this is my life.
Also I sent Francisco a pic of her so he can confirm she's real.
And yes I do need to stop posting about her it delays getting over her. Thats why i locked the thread but screw it I don't care anymore keep it going. Seeing her everyday also delays getting over her but nothing I can do about that now.
Listen...I have to be blunt. I have been holding back...but I must be blunt.My Name is Nobody said:I have a feeling it was over after the first night with her when my ex got in her face and wanted to fight her. Also when we smoked weed (I got her to smoke too, her first time she ever saw pot she claims) really upset her. She said that was worse than what my ex did.
Actually she LJBF me right after the incident with the EX. She sent an email saying saying I am too complicated and "she is out and we can be friends". This was right after the incident. And stated the weed was worst than the ex. Just sayin'... Then she tells me she went on dates after that happened.Latinoman said:To the point that she decided to LJBF on you. Maybe you talked to her to death...or you acted desperated...or you two were not "compatible" in bed..
So...stop blaming your ex- or pot and ACCEPT the fact your performance during or after the sexual act potentially made her reconsider.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I truly respect your honesty.My Name is Nobody said:As for my performance? Well she was a zombie and just laid there didn't do anything memorial. So her performance was severely lacking. I fvcked her pretty good the first time for over 3 hours and I didn't even bust a nut.. Not so good the 2nd time i admit. But she was pretty lame in the sack, pretty lame indeed.
Memorial? You mean, like, she was dead in bed? Sorry. Couldn't resist.she was a zombie and just laid there didn't do anything memorial.
Mr. Me said:Memorial? You mean, like, she was dead in bed? Sorry. Couldn't resist.
Well, now that you're done with that zany, find someone less crazy.
I hear Britney Spear's available.
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.