Does "No Contact" really work?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Haha, that's awesome. Very funny but sad and embarrassing to watch because I've felt and acted that way in the past. What a shame. It's better to just walk away and focus on yourself.

Sometimes it's easier to watch it if you are too busy living it.

 

[wjh]

...to make her still want me...

AFC.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Alright I made this thread after a six pack of Ice House last night. I really need to stop doing that. I'm completely over this woman, seriously. I can and will do better than this.

 

[guru1000]

Alright I made this thread after a six pack of Ice House last night. I really need to stop doing that. I'm completely over this woman, seriously. I can and will do better than this.

It's OK. We all have been there . Don't BLAME the six pack, this is how you truly feel.

The truth is what Latinoman and Metro have told you, she is not into you, bottomline. No matter what you do to a quality or non quality woman, she will never dump you if she is still attracted to you.

She lost attraction for you. This happened because you didn't behave like a MASCULINE MATURE MAN with STRONG INTERNAL BOUNDARIES.

Remember, any excuse she used to dump you is merely justification for her loss of attraction. Keep your chin up and move on.

 

[reset]

Sometimes it's easier to watch it if you are too busy living it.

Wow I needed to laugh like that. That was hilarious and embarassing at the same time becuase that's basically what I just went through. Ugh.

I don't want to be that way ever again. :nono:

 

[reset]

The truth is what Latinoman and Metro have told you, she is not into you, bottomline. No matter what you do to a quality or non quality woman, she will never dump you if she is still attracted to you.

She lost attraction for you. This happened because you didn't behave like a MASCULINE MATURE MAN with STRONG INTERNAL BOUNDARIES.

I think the ego gets really invested in this. The girl DID have attraction to the extent that you were together, but when you act AFC (by getting too attached) you can turn the girl off. Then you think "no, she was SO INTO ME!" and yeah she WAS... until you stop doing the things that keep her attracted. If you're always a man and setting the boundaries then you should be good. When you're weak and supplicating, they run away. Because you're not who you USED TO BE. You changed. They're not leaving the cool guy you were who was strong, they're leaving the AFC that took his place.

And the ego can get so bruised that it's hard to face that fact but if you don't face the fact then you just keep repeating the same mistakes.

And if your validation isn't based on a woman's approval, then I wonder what that would be like. What kind of relationships would I have if my self-worth was NOT tied into the girl? That's the world I want to enter. If other men have done it I don't see why I can't too.

 

[frivolousz21]

you gotta get it together.

your to old for this.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Wow I needed to laugh like that. That was hilarious and embarassing at the same time becuase that's basically what I just went through. Ugh.

I don't want to be that way ever again. :nono:

Yeah it's definitely funny but in just a few minutes he goes through the a gamut of emotions. They all have been played out in this forum time and time again.

Guy's start out oblivious to what's going on in the relationship and once they're confronted they become confused and then frustrated. Then they try to justify what they did or didn't do. Then comes denial followed by anger. Then the insults come. Strangely enough after the insults he changes into a hero who wants to work things out. If she doesn't agree the hero changes into a martyr and then comes the desperation. Ending the rollercoaster ride is a bout of bitterness followed by sorrow and then self pity (whew).

Post's come up about the "crazy biotch." Then the masses get together and comisserate and just perpetuate the problem. Of course she eventually gets called a wh0re (even though she wouldn't take the $38 he had tried to buy her back with). Yadda, yadda, yadda. B1tch, cvnt, wh0re, slut with a moustache. All of this and in the end the guy still wants the connection even if they could just be friends.

Somebody whote a post about how to deal with what women had become. From watching that video I'd be more concerned about what men have become.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Alright but you have to admit this situation was straight up weird. Why did she have me in her place new years eve if she hates me enough to throw me out.

Come on now she could have just told me "no leave me alone" instead of
"ok come over new years eve". And then shows me her ex husband photo album.

And then we could have skipped the horrible events which unfolded thereafter.

I still think she is a psycho but it's not all her fault. I did become AFC hopefully this is the last time ever. I really learned my lesson.

I think she has something to prove to herself by ditching me the way she did. A kind of revenge for all the years of cheating and lying she endured.

I mean the way she went from being nice to showing HATE within a few minutes was just amazing. I have never seen anything like it before.

She is seriously damaged....not just somewhat damaged. Maybe one of the resident shrinks can tune in on this...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Alright but you have to admit this situation was straight up weird. Why did she have me in her place new years eve if she hates me enough to throw me out.

Because she was hoping that you wouldn't do what you did.

Come on now she could have just told me "no leave me alone" instead of
"ok come over new years eve".

You could have declined.

And then shows me her ex husband photo album.

You knew that she had just ended the relationship. Remember the warning.. :nono:

And then we could have skipped the horrible events which unfolded thereafter.

Do you think that she actually planned the evening to end that way or were prior actions a catalyst?

I still think she is a psycho but it's not all her fault. I did become AFC hopefully this is the last time ever. I really learned my lesson.

Fine. What are you going to do about it?

I think she has something to prove to herself by ditching me the way she did. A kind of revenge for all the years of cheating and lying she endured.

And you would care about this because????

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Because she was hoping that you wouldn't do what you did.

Wait what did I do during the night to make her HATE me? I don't remember doing anything other than drinking and kissing her and listening to her b!tch about her problems.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Wait what did I do during the night to make her HATE me? I don't remember doing anything other than drinking and kissing her and listening to her b!tch about her problems. Everyone drinks and f/cks on New Years eve it's expected.

I don't know. Someone earlier said that drinking (like six packs of Ice House) causes them to do things which aren't completely logical. Maybe the drinking thing was just an excuse for the behavior too. Who knows.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I don't know. Someone earlier said that drinking (like six packs of Ice House) causes them to do things which aren't completely logical. Maybe the drinking thing was just an excuse for the behavior too. Who knows.

I have remembered exactly what went down the moments before she threw me out. I haven't shared this info yet maybe it could shed some light on her mindframe. It still makes no sense to me.

The last thing I remember her saying is "I have nobody I am all alone".. Which is true she has no family and hardly any friends.

So I told her "You have me".. and she said "You're not my boyfriend I don't have a boyfriend!!"

Then I said "I never said I was your boyfriend...."

And she WENT OFF THREW ME OUT and says she Never wants to see me again.

 

[reset]

Somebody whote a post about how to deal with what women had become. From watching that video I'd be more concerned about what men have become.

Yeah fortunately for me, I had the same exchange that guy did... but in my own head. I never said anything to her or lashed out at her, but I said most of those things that guy said in my own mind.

If something comes up and I feel like a wuss attack is coming on, I'll watch that video before I'm tempted to do something stupid and weak, because that's going to be the end result.

 

[reset]

Being responsible for your own thoughts and feelings, and your actions is a pain in the ass. But you don't have a choice.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

What do you guys think about the convo that triggered this woman to go off? She was being nice as hell we were kissing and then:


Psycho: "I have nobody I am all alone"..

MNIN: "You have me I'm here for you"

Psycho: "No! You are NOT my boyfriend!! I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!!"

MNIN: "I never said I was your boyfriend"

PSYCHO: "GET OUT GET OUT I TOLD YOU I WASN'T READY GET OUT"

***SLAMS DOOR IN MY FACE THROWS ME MY JACKET

MNIN: **In a daze not understanding what happened. Go to my car try and call her her phones are off. Go back and pound on her door call her a f_cking ***** a few times. Which she is using as her reason to hate me and never forgive me. But not acknowledging the reason she threw me out in the first place.

 

[guru1000]

What do you guys think about the convo that triggered this woman to go off? She was being nice as hell we were kissing and then:


Psycho: "I have nobody I am all alone"..

MNIN: "You have me I'm here for you"

Psycho: "No! You are NOT my boyfriend!! I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!!"

MNIN: "I never said I was your boyfriend"

PSYCHO: "GET OUT GET OUT I TOLD YOU I WASN'T READY GET OUT"

***SLAMS DOOR IN MY FACE THROWS ME MY JACKET

MNIN: **In a daze not understanding what happened. Go to my car try and call her her phones are off. Go back and pound on her door call her a f_cking ***** a few times. Which she is using as her reason to hate me and never forgive me. But not acknowledging the reason she threw me out in the first place.

Read my post on LOW INTEREST LEVEL.

She has low interest in you. She uses you as a crutch because she is not that into you , but there is noone else around at the time. So when she is feeling lonely, bored or depressed , she calls you. You are a punching bag for her emotions or an emotional tampon as Joeker puts it.

If you are ok being THE CRUTCH OF ABUSE, continue.

If you have any integrity or self respect, move on.

 

[reset]

All the things that caused low-interest can be worked on and ultimately fixed.

Do you think you could put your ego aside and use this as a learning experience? I think if it became a learning experience, you could reframe it from something that broke your heart into something that made you a better man and more likely to have future healthy relationships.

I think the women we get involved with reflect back to us the things we have inside us, so if it ends up with lots of drama and craziness, then we have lots of drama and craziness in us.

But the ego and wounded pride make it so hard to grow. That's what I'm doing with what happened to me, if you choose, you could turn this into one of the best things that ever happened to you.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

That's exactly what I am trying to to. I have made it a priority to turn this into a positive experience. I hope to be making a new thread soon about the new girl I am seeing. Give me a couple weeks and I will make it. And she will be much much better than the woman this thread is about.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Read my post on LOW INTEREST LEVEL.

She has low interest in you. She uses you as a crutch because she is not that into you , but there is noone else around at the time. So when she is feeling lonely, bored or depressed , she calls you. You are a punching bag for her emotions or an emotional tampon as Joeker puts it.

If you are ok being THE CRUTCH OF ABUSE, continue.

If you have any integrity or self respect, move on.

No there is no continuing. I have deleted her from everything, my phone, IM, that's about it. Unfortunately I have to see her at work which sucks. I plan to completely ignore her and not say anything to her unless I bump into her in the hallway. Maybe I should ignore her there too.

I have 2 new phone #'s I can use this week. One girl is about 50 miles away but maybe it can still work. She is pretty cool. We talked on the phone last night and she is willing to meet up after we "talk more" We'll see what happens. I am trying to get as many #'s as possible right now. It feels good because if it wasn't for this incident I wouldn't even be trying to sarge right now.