MatureDJ
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2006
- Messages
- 12,750
- Reaction score
- 5,164
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Money's Important.Dann: There are definitely a lot of women who keep an eye on the man’s wallet. That’s why you see some women perk up when a man says he’s a doctor or a lawyer. And if he’s a hot doctor or lawyer, forget about it!
Money's important.Haley: It’s not that I couldn’t fall in love with someone who made less money than I do, but it would be difficult. I want to settle down with someone who can take care of me and support a family.
Money's important. Just "make you happy?" Is that all? I wonder how much that costs.Rebecca: Money has never been a consideration for me. Can someone make me happy, make me laugh, and carry on an intellectually stimulating conversation? I think about those things first and money much, much later.
Oh, so that's why you won't date men who earn less than you? Because you wouldn't want to hurt his feelings???In other cases, women don’t mind earning more money, but think the men they’re with would feel diminished by that.
Oh my...Haley: My current boyfriend pays for everything and I think I make more than he does, but I like it that way because it feels romantic, caring and chivalrous.
Well apparently they go hand in hand for Haley, and I bet they do for you too. Oh, here comes Liz again:Liz Kelly: It’s the romance and chivalry that women want — not the free meal.
I've never read such a hypocritical statement in my life.Career women are happy to pick up the tab when dating someone seriously, but in the early stages of dating, the guy should get the tab. It sets the stage for building a stronger relationship.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.