"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Do You Think There Is Too Much Negativity On This Site? [Merged Threads]
- Thread starter Wyldfire
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"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
REJECTED!!! :crackup:Desdinova said:
Luke Skywalker
Banned
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But isn't that like, um, sexist to make an exception for yourself since you are a woman?Wyldfire said:
Nope. I am one of the only people on this site who did not come here seeking help because I was unhappy with my romantic relationships. I'm an exception to the norm here...which means that my entire perspective is different and I have a better ability to step back and be a bit more objective. The same would apply for a man who was on a similar site for women. It's not about who is better or worse...just an acknowledgment that I'm different/unique to most here.Luke Skywalker said:
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I don't blame you though.
This place is so PC that they would allow this sort of trolling to continue.
I appreciate what a wonderful and free resource sosuave is. And I appreciate what Allen and the mods have to deal with to try and keep the peace around here...but the conituned emasculation and estrogen-pollution they allow you to perform around here sure is disconcerting and very un-DJ.
Boy, I sure hope lesbians start coming to this forum to give us some objectivity and perspective too. There surely is too much male perspective around here...it needs to be fair and balancedWyldfire said:
We're just breeding rapists and school shooters around here - please invite some of your female friends to post some of their wisdom on this board!
You entirely misunderstand me. The last thing I want or have ever wanted is to emasculate men. I've never done that in the 6 years I have been here. What I want to see happen is for the site to return to what it originally was...which is FAR different than what it has become. You joined in 2005. The site began in 2000. I joined in 2001. It used to be a very positive site where the guys actually tried to help each other and improve themselves. When their efforts with women weren't going well...if they started whining or blaming the other guys would jump on them and tell them to man up and take responsibility for themselves and their happiness and stop bellyaching. You don't see that anymore...all you see is bellyaching. It sets the tone for people to wallow in self-pity rather than rising above it and getting off their butts and improving themselves.DarthJuan said:
Yes, to an extent I have gotten sucked into the negativity as well...and all the biotching I've done about the site over the last few years is because I do have the ability to step back and see things differently...and what I've seen is just not good for you guys. That is what it's about...YOU GUYS. I'm not saying this stuff for myself. I have a good life and am very happy. I haven't had relationship problems in over 13 years. I genuinely am here because I don't want to see any of you turn into a man like my ex husband (as an example). He's negative and blames everyone...and now he is 46 years old, hasn't had a date, let alone a girlfriend in 10 years and has no friends. His kids can't even stand to be around him he is so miserable. Is that what you want your life to look like? I sure don't want your life to look that way. Negativity will destroy your life and cause you to waste all that precious time when you could have just as easily chosen to be happy instead.
Not all...but the more people keep questioning my motives and the like, the more I have to repeat it. I don't like it anymore than you do.blueguy said:
Yep...I am extremely confident. I also openly admit the fact that, at times, my confidence borders on arrogance. That being said...my intentions have always been good here. My sarcasm sometimes gets perceived in ways it was never intended, too.
Could we please get back to the topic of the thread? I know I'm fascinating and all...but if people were really sick of hearing about me they would stop talking about me and start talking about the topic...right?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Probably the most profound thing I have ever learned is that the self-fulfilled prophecy theory is actually true. The reason being is that a person is born, and based on circumstances, a snowball effect begins to occur. Success begets more success. Failure begets more failure. Once you are able to consciously break out of the paradigm you view yourself in based on your past experiences, you can then start with a clean slate and begin to shape your value from scratch. It is true. But it is the most challenging task a human being can ever do. One must not ever feel personally rejected, or the cycle starts all over again.Wyldfire said:
belividere
Master Don Juan
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- 47
I believe you when you say you want to help people.
But there are some people here, including myself who are of the opinion that there is absolutely no way you can be as objective as you like to claim.
No matter how much power of empathy and imagination I possess, there are certain things I will not have the ability to speak authoritatively on. No matter how much I can empathize and try to understand the pain and emotion of child birth, there is absolutely no way I can truly understand and comment on it. No matter how objective I may be on the subject. I may be able to come to some understanding, but I will never truly "know" unless I am a woman, and unless I have actually given birth.
I may be able to come to some understanding on the subject, maybe some interesting insights...but I will never be in a position where I would claim absolute, immutable, unimpeachable authority on the subject, like you do on every subject you enter.
Think of this forum as scientific peer review. If what you say doesn't jive in the real world, it'll get shot down pretty quick. Everyone on this board is subject to the same peer review.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
True, however the peer review isn't of one mind, nor of one lifetime of experiences; not of one understanding nor consciousness (we aren't Borg). Therein lies the problem, not all the information contained in this forum is conceptually valid in the different realities of its members. Two things hold true; people will only believe what they can understand and there is no reality, only perception.DarthJuan said:
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
That was salty....Desdinova said:
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
The ones that smell like bathroom tissue?Desdinova said:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=124216
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
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