MatureDJ
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2006
- Messages
- 12,749
- Reaction score
- 5,163
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Are you really 70? If so you must be the oldest "PUA" guy in the world. On a side note, do you think life becomes easier with age?Scaramouche said:Dear MDJ,
"When we're older"...well speak for yourself mate!...I can vouch for every word in that article...As you get Older it just gets better and better...but you must stay Healthy...Eat and Exercise wisely and your bed will never be cold...Promise!
Indeed!! I hope he dies that way but not for a very long time. I can see him working for another 20 years if his health stays good. The guy is truly an inspiration for all of us.Scaramouche said:Dear Lefty,
"I picture him dieing in 25 years of a heart attack laying in bed getting it on with her."....Maybe so Lefty,but he died with a smile on his face!
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Scara's right when he says it's a mixed bag. Some things get easier and some things get harder. Like he says, if you're smart you should be able to set yourself up financially. I can't imagine having to or wanting to be working when I'm 76. Different strokes for different folks though. There should be plenty of options dating wise. You get better at coping. You take more things in stride.mangotot said:On a side note, do you think life becomes easier with age?
"Liniment"?logicallefty said:..he said the "L" word to her and I was thinking "oh cr@p, grampa, NO NO don't do that. We need to talk!". But I asked him if she said it back and he said "yes".
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.