"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Do you let her poop while you're in the bathroom?
- Thread starter El Payaso
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
narcissist
Master Don Juan
hockeyfreak79
Master Don Juan
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It didn't bother her but she knew I didn't like it.
She wouldn't fart around me tho.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
hockeyfreak79
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No pun intended?
Rimj*b, I guess the kool kids now are calling it "tossing salad". I hear you but yeah watching a chick grunt doesn't excite me. I'm not a fan of 2 girls 1 cup either.
LOL, same here. My ex/kids mom used to do the same thing and it grossed me out...
SmooveMooves
Master Don Juan
dustmuffin
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Who Dares Win
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Im myself somehow reserved in those cases, if Im pissing I open the sink to hide the noise while she is out.
That doesnt stop me to do the most nasty things during sex but toilet is totally different.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
earplugs, the 33db ones, soft blue hearos
El Payaso
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Good suggestion. I had that problem at one point. Snoring is mostly involuntary so simply telling her to stop snoring doesn't really work.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
And, make it her job to wake you, because, you may not hear the alarm. Put her to work!
She usually only stays on weekends so I dont have an alarm set for the next morning.... Anyway, ear plugs seem like a good idea, she wont stop snoring just coz I ask, I reckon....
El Payaso
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You should still let her know though so she's aware and she puts a little effort.
Just tell her "Babe, I like having you over but I've been having difficulties sleeping because your snoring keeps me up. No sleep means I'm cranky in the morning."
She'll either apologize or throw a fit.
Her response will tell you what kind of woman she is. If she apologizes and at least makes an effort like saying she'll get one of those nostril strip things then you know she's the kind of woman to compromise or who takes criticism well.
What if im in my place...?
SgtSplacker
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Sexually I don't like any anal play. I just don't think it's better than the options available. The only time I enjoyed banging a girl in the arse was an ex I had that couldn't take birth control, so I'd just bust in her rear and that's it.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.