Usually there's always a hottie bartending, but drinks are so expensive I really don't tip, which is bad because I'm in the service industry. And I don't mean buying approval. I just feel bad at the end of the night leaving without giving a tip.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
You are terrible.betterthandead said:10% total cost of all drinks. Not cheap, if they wanted a job that paid them decent wages they'd go elsewhere besides those tip oriented service jobs.
Just like it's etiquette to tip $1 per drink, it's etiquette for them not to ask for a tip. They shouldn't be doing that. The bartender simply taking your change as their tip is really wrong, though. I would never go back to that person. Maybe if you catch them later, I'd say something jokingly like, "So, do you always infer a $5 on a drink means the change is yours?" If she's smart she'll say it was an accident.ketostix said:Bars and clubs are getting ridiculous. I regular domestic beer is $3 or more which is bad enough, then you're expected to tip $1 33% everytime you get a beer. Not to mention cover. I've been to the bar a 1000 times and this weekend I saw something I rarley see but it happened all night. I'd order a beer, $4 and hand the bartender a $5 and instead of bringing back the change they put it in the tip bucket. I don't like a tip to just be yanked. Then I went to a different bartender and I handed her the money for a beer and she says, "Where's my tip?..". I was like oh you're demanding a tip, t hat's new" and just gave her a tip. The thing is it was busy as can be because of a festival and people were tipping. And we're not talking about the bartender having to mix a drink open and close a tab or anything. They just getting greedy and brazen with it.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Yeah and the worst part is at a busy bar you're not really directly tipping for good service when you do tip because it goes in a shared tip bucket. If you tip your bartender well the person might still, but not always, serve you quicker, but a lot of times it's so busy you have get a different bartender to get a drink. The servers are making plenty of money and sharing the tip pot anyway so you get little in return for big tipping.Effington said:Just like it's etiquette to tip $1 per drink, it's etiquette for them not to ask for a tip. They shouldn't be doing that. The bartender simply taking your change as their tip is really wrong, though. I would never go back to that person. Maybe if you catch them later, I'd say something jokingly like, "So, do you always infer a $5 on a drink means the change is yours?" If she's smart she'll say it was an accident.
Anyway...bars are expensive. Where I live, a domestic bottle is $5 or more, it's not cheap. Shots usually start at $8 ($10 for bomb shots). Blame gas prices, that's the scapegoat for everything now.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.