"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Do you control your thinking about her?

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sam21

Don Juan
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I do control my thinking about her because nothing good comes from it.. besides the momentary pleasure it may give you.

But there are some-like situation that are more confusing.

Like..

I know she was chatting with this friend of mine, but I was ignoring her... then I went to the bathroom and when I came back the 2 of them were disconnected, so I was going to check the time they went offline to see if they both went offline at the same time, and I realized that that was good for the information.. but bad for the inner peace and for the emotions and for the state of mind I want and need to have in order to succed with her.

soo.. I'm not completely sure about the point of this, so I'll get it more simple:

Do you control your thinking about her? :)

I think you should not let a girl put in danger your confidence, even if that means ignoring some good information. And you should not play it like "oh, I'm super confident I'll check the events viewer because I can handle the emotions"

That's wrong, that's an illusion... an excuse. I think it's a common trap in every of us.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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S

spitkicker

Don Juan
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don't ask questions if you don't want to hear the answer.defintely. this issomething i had to deal with alot in my first LTR.
 
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