GREAT point here.
I would like to hear more concrete explanations on what men here think leadership is. This is a huge part of the conversation but it's missing. We're saying 'let's be leaders' but not explaining what it means to lead. If you could offer your thoughts here, even briefly, it would be a great contribution.
@Spaz too
Generally speaking, I think a leader is someone with a vision and is willing to make moves and decisions to get there. The vision can be their own, or it can be a collective one (must still align with their personal values). Either way, they see it and they hunt it.
Of course, you can be a leader in many capacities so I'll constrain my definition to the context of men interacting with women.
Women want to be lead by a man with a spine. A man who makes calculated decisions that benefit him and if she is lucky.. over time he might start to consider her too. But most men, as I did once, try to appeal to her from the jump instead of keeping in mind their vision. That's spineless, you've given up on your values or desires in order to please her. How could a woman, let alone anyone, respect that?
A leader is calm and collected. Able to reason even in the most heated situations. She could be b!tching about who knows what. But you stand your ground, unfaltering from what you believe is right. This doesn't mean you don't know how to negotiate or think in terms of the group at times, don't get it twisted. But that you're not changing your core values on the spot to simply make sure her sex remains available to you. Or to not offend her. How could she respect that? Could you respect yourself or even her if she did that?
I'd have to write a book to fully explain what I think leadership is. And that ain't gonna happen. But I would like to hear more viewpoints.
You have to know what you want. And your actions must align with that. Examples of specific scenarios are irrelevant and time consuming to spell out (in bed, in an approach, in public, in arguments, push, pull, blah blah). Although it's all pretty straightforward to me: decide what you want and go after it.
Edit: Also, a good leader is able to help others see and be excited about the vision. And once they are, the leader is able to organize them to best accomplish said goal.