Do women want to be led in 2019?

[Atom Smasher]

Haha my apologies then.

It's Mick Jagger.

You could have blamed auto-correct on that one!

 

[StephenM0101]

You are right, there are more factors. What I’m trying to point out is that an ugly man with power and status is attracting women who want to benefit from his power and status. If he didn’t have that, he would not have them.

Are YOU attractive?

 

[Spaz]

Women will actually imagine that a man looks way better than he objectively looks when he fulfills those criteria. A man who has his act together actually makes him look physically attractive in her perception. For us men, physical appearance of the opposite sex is judged fairly globally and absolutely, even across most (but not all) cultures. Of course there will be some variance but studies show that there is a surprisingly global consensus on ideal looks and body shape.

There is no such universality among women when they evaluate men's looks. When a man tickles her fancy, she sees him as gorgeous. I believe our creator built that into them, and it serves a good purpose.

I'm continously flabbergasted by postings of some men who claims they have a harem of women but don't know this and other critical traits.

It just doesn't add up.

But let's slide this topic for another day on another thread.

 

[GrowingPains]

I know that part of the problem is that many of you have no idea under the sun what leadership actually is. You have this simplistic, surface-level speculation about what it is, but since you have had no real role models to train you and whom you can emulate, you are left not knowing anything about leadership.

One if these days I might start a discussion on what true leadership is and why women still respond and submit to it, and always will. Not that I have all the answers, but I can at least start the discussion and mention how and why being a leader has worked for me.

GREAT point here.

I would like to hear more concrete explanations on what men here think leadership is. This is a huge part of the conversation but it's missing. We're saying 'let's be leaders' but not explaining what it means to lead. If you could offer your thoughts here, even briefly, it would be a great contribution. @Spaz too

Generally speaking, I think a leader is someone with a vision and is willing to make moves and decisions to get there. The vision can be their own, or it can be a collective one (must still align with their personal values). Either way, they see it and they hunt it.

Of course, you can be a leader in many capacities so I'll constrain my definition to the context of men interacting with women.

Women want to be lead by a man with a spine. A man who makes calculated decisions that benefit him and if she is lucky.. over time he might start to consider her too. But most men, as I did once, try to appeal to her from the jump instead of keeping in mind their vision. That's spineless, you've given up on your values or desires in order to please her. How could a woman, let alone anyone, respect that?

A leader is calm and collected. Able to reason even in the most heated situations. She could be b!tching about who knows what. But you stand your ground, unfaltering from what you believe is right. This doesn't mean you don't know how to negotiate or think in terms of the group at times, don't get it twisted. But that you're not changing your core values on the spot to simply make sure her sex remains available to you. Or to not offend her. How could she respect that? Could you respect yourself or even her if she did that?

I'd have to write a book to fully explain what I think leadership is. And that ain't gonna happen. But I would like to hear more viewpoints.

You have to know what you want. And your actions must align with that. Examples of specific scenarios are irrelevant and time consuming to spell out (in bed, in an approach, in public, in arguments, push, pull, blah blah). Although it's all pretty straightforward to me: decide what you want and go after it.

Edit: Also, a good leader is able to help others see and be excited about the vision. And once they are, the leader is able to organize them to best accomplish said goal.

 

[Spaz]

GREAT point here.

I would like to hear more concrete explanations on what men here think leadership is. This is a huge part of the conversation but it's missing. We're saying 'let's be leaders' but not explaining what it means to lead. If you could offer your thoughts here, even briefly, it would be a great contribution. @Spaz too

Generally speaking, I think a leader is someone with a vision and is willing to make moves and decisions to get there. The vision can be their own, or it can be a collective one (must still align with their personal values). Either way, they see it and they hunt it.

Of course, you can be a leader in many capacities so I'll constrain my definition to the context of men interacting with women.

Women want to be lead by a man with a spine. A man who makes calculated decisions that benefit him and if she is lucky.. over time he might start to consider her too. But most men, as I did once, try to appeal to her from the jump instead of keeping in mind their vision. That's spineless, you've given up on your values or desires in order to please her. How could a woman, let alone anyone, respect that?

A leader is calm and collected. Able to reason even in the most heated situations. She could be b!tching about who knows what. But you stand your ground, unfaltering from what you believe is right. This doesn't mean you don't know how to negotiate or think in terms of the group at times, don't get it twisted. But that you're not changing your core values on the spot to simply make sure her sex remains available to you. Or to not offend her. How could she respect that? Could you respect yourself or even her if she did that?

I'd have to write a book to fully explain what I think leadership is. And that ain't gonna happen. But I would like to hear more viewpoints.

You have to know what you want. And your actions must align with that. Examples of specific scenarios are irrelevant and time consuming to spell out (in bed, in an approach, in public, in arguments, push, pull, blah blah). Although it's all pretty straightforward to me: decide what you want and go after it.

Edit: Also, a good leader is able to help others see and be excited about the vision. And once they are, the leader is able to organize them to best accomplish said goal.

Yes, a leader is also visionary, how else can he empower and also inspire people around him?

There's no general ABC steps.

If they are then its likely leadership via subjugation or preying on ones fears where one pulls out the rank card and hands out discipline. Here you don't get to create true loyalty. What you create is just fear.

There are various forms of leadership but the most effective way or most natural is the leadership of empowerment.

With empowerment you create multiple mini you's, granting each autonomy and powers to do as they please within the boundaries you set. Each of them will fail or falter, but it's to be expected because only through failures can they truly learn to be greater with you offering ur protection when they fail.

This in turn frees you up to do other tasks and from which the most important one is contemplating the next steps towards the future - here's where the vision is created or born.

Everyone in my management team follow this exact same rule, spend only 3 hours per day in the office and the rest of time out of the office, meet people for golf, or coffee or just bang balls at the yacht club or any social setting they desire.

This is how influence grows, how one gets ideas from a multitude of people, how one feels the pulse of the environment.

From there a vision is born after absorbing all that's you're seen, all that you're experienced, all that you're heard and witnessed.

True leadership should work in all strata of ur life, both professionally and personally, even with women.

If it doesn't then the leadership u r practicing is the wrong model.

Do you understand now?

​

 

[GrowingPains]

Yes, a leader is also visionary, how else can he empower and also inspire people around him?

There's no general ABC steps.

If they are then its likely leadership via subjugation or preying on ones fears where one pulls out the rank card and hands out discipline. Here you don't get to create true loyalty. What you create is just fear.

There are various forms of leadership but the most effective way or most natural is the leadership of empowerment.

With empowerment you create multiple mini you's, granting each autonomy and powers to do as they please within the boundaries you set. Each of them will fail or falter, but it's to be expected because only through failures can they truly learn to be greater with you offering ur protection when they fail.

This in turn frees you up to do other tasks and from which the most important one is contemplating the next steps towards the future - here's where the vision is created or born.

Everyone in my management team follow this exact same rule, spend only 3 hours per day in the office and the rest of time out of the office, meet people for golf, or coffee or just bang balls at the yacht club or any social setting they desire.

This is how influence grows, how one gets ideas from a multitude of people, how one feels the pulse of the environment.

From there a vision is born after absorbing all that's you're seen, all that you're experienced, all that you're heard and witnessed.

True leadership should work in all strata of ur life, both professionally and personally, even with women.

If it doesn't then the leadership u r practicing is the wrong model.

Do you understand now?

​

It's not that I don't understand, it's just that I want to hear your explanation and have a conversation about it.

So you described a leader in a business situation. I don't think a woman wants to be lead the same way. As we both acknowledged, leadership can be exercised in different ways of your life. I would say that tweaks need to be made to the style of leadership in varying areas.

So what's Spaz's approach to leading a woman? And when I say approach I don't mean steps 1, 2, 3. I just mean your philosophy with some examples to clarify.

 

[Spaz]

It's not that I don't understand, it's just that I want to hear your explanation and have a conversation about it.

So you described a leader in a business situation. I don't think a woman wants to be lead the same way. As we both acknowledged, leadership can be exercised in different ways of your life. I would say that tweaks need to be made to the style of leadership in varying areas.

So what's Spaz's approach to leading a woman?

It's the same.

I create a mini me in her, in other words my world where she lives in.

In my world she's empowered to do as she pleases within the boundaries of my world. Never controlled.

My world grows in tandem with how great my vision is.

As it grows so will her.

From there admiration is born and from that respect.

Then you have the love of a woman.

 

[Spaz]

For an example look at Spaz leading his woman Epic Days. Spaz approached and Epic Days fell under his spell. It was love at first type.

Guru1000, you must be feeling depressed for ur split personality to show up.

 

[Trump]

The days of men "leading" are over and the guys who suggest this on here are 40+

The modern woman wants to orchestrate a developing love story

She doesn't NEED you like the old days. But she still wants it

He doesn't pick her up at 8.00 and have her home by 11:00

He is selfish, he lifts, he grows beard, he suggests to chill at his place

And she becomes totally obsessed with his indifference, not leadership

That's the direction we are heading, if we are not already there

+1. Completely agree.

Women don’t need men like before and any attempt to lead or dominate will backfire. The girl wants to do the chasing, the girl wants to let it grow grow naturally, the girl wants to do the calling.

Any attempt to lead “we are doing this, etc” will be met with resistance. You guys are forgetting, women are free and independent in 2019. They don’t need men like before, except to have baby when their want to get pregnant.

Women don’t lose interest because of lack of leadership, they lose interest because you are concerned with them.

 

[GrowingPains]

+1. Completely agree.

Women don’t need men like before and any attempt to lead or dominate will backfire. The girl wants to do the chasing, the girl wants to let it grow grow naturally, the girl wants to do the calling.

Any attempt to lead “we are doing this, etc” will be met with resistance. You guys are forgetting, women are free and independent in 2019. They don’t need men like before, except to have baby when their want to get pregnant.

Women don’t lose interest because of lack of leadership, they lose interest because you are concerned with them.

The word leadership is a bit odd but I think if is a comprehensive enough word for this convo. I would even substitute the word leadership for 'have a spine'.

What kind of actions make a woman chase? After she decides his LMS is enough for her, what makes her want to chase a man?

 

[Medina]

Even marriage proposal is the females idea. You maybe the one who gets down on one knee but it's always the female who has planted the seeds and hints LONG before the male even thinks about it. And of course he thinks he's being clever like it was his idea LOL

This is how females operate and it's exactly what I meant by them orchestrating the love story

You being the "leader" is an illusion. The woman is fully in control of the courtship

They just expect you to make the moves if and when they allow you to